Nervous Little

[Noirkii]

Okay, so. Heres the T.

I am a Non-sexual Little. I never use to be like this. But due to how nervous I get I've decided to be non-sexual. It doesn't bother me at all, I don't really need sexual contact.

 

But, I'm slowly seeing a pattern of when I meet a Daddy/Mommy that I'm into, if they mention something sexual in the slightest I freak out and I think to myself "Are they a pervert? Are they going to hurt me?" Like, even the most real doms scare me. Its not that I don't wanna do all that stuff its just that I feel the second something sexual is mentioned I can't get it out my head and then my pure fun, cuddly, cute mindset of this person just disappears. 

 

I am a very innocent acting little. I'm not a brat in the slightest really, its rare I act out. I respect my Caregiver and always would do.

 

Anyone else know what this feeling is? I'd really like to know the POV from both Littles and Caregivers.

[MasterPhotog]

Sounds like you still need to deal with your original fear, real or perceived, that caused you to be nervous about being sexual with anyone. 
Even though being sexual or not is entirely your choice and must be respected, however you becoming fearful or suspicious with a mare mention of anything to do with sex is kinda extreme that you may possibly want to a professional. 

Alternatively, In order to avoid becoming nervous or fearful, you may want to clearly communicate this to a potential CG or DD early in the relationship. 

Hope it helps, best wishes.

[Noirkii]

Sounds like you still need to deal with your original fear, real or perceived, that caused you to be nervous about being sexual with anyone. 

Even though being sexual or not is entirely your choice and must be respected, however you becoming fearful or suspicious with a mare mention of anything to do with sex is kinda extreme that you may possibly want to a professional. 

Alternatively, In order to avoid becoming nervous or fearful, you may want to clearly communicate this to a potential CG or DD early in the relationship. 

Hope it helps, best wishes.

I do try my best. But I'm quite the soft Little. I just struggle to find anyone that doesn't scare me due to how nervous I do get. I once took a look on Fetlife. Every photo of an sort of sexual contact or punishment caused me to tense up and I looked away. I've had punishments before but because I'm usually good punishments for me aren't enjoyable which is good. You ain't suppose to enjoy punishments, otherwise there would be no point in them. 

 

But yes, thankyou for the advice. I really appreciate it!!

[LittleTeacup]

I too am pretty soft and nervous. It seems like something happened to you to make you more afraid than you used to be. Like MasterPhotog said, you will have to address the cause of this fear or it will keep interfering with your life.

 

I've never gone on fetlife, but isn't it quite extreme there? That website might not be the best starting place. Tell potential caregivers you like that you're repulsed by sexual talk and please don't mention it around you. If they're the caregiver for you, they won't mind and will respect you.

 

And you have to agree on your punishments, whatever they are. Maybe you'd be more comfortable with a simple time-out type of punishment or having to explain to your caregiver what you did wrong and why it's wrong.

[alienkitty15]

Communication with your partners is going to be very crucial for you, but trauma like that is best worked out with a licensed therapist, not your partner. I hope you're able to access help like that. 

[Noirkii]

Communication with your partners is going to be very crucial for you, but trauma like that is best worked out with a licensed therapist, not your partner. I hope you're able to access help like that. 

I have had lots of help. But at the moment battling it on my own is something I must do also <3

[MasterPhotog]

I do try my best. But I'm quite the soft Little. I just struggle to find anyone that doesn't scare me due to how nervous I do get. I once took a look on Fetlife. Every photo of an sort of sexual contact or punishment caused me to tense up and I looked away. I've had punishments before but because I'm usually good punishments for me aren't enjoyable which is good. You ain't suppose to enjoy punishments, otherwise there would be no point in them. 

 

But yes, thankyou for the advice. I really appreciate it!!

 

@Noirkii, you're very welcome and thank you for taking the time to share some background information.

Sorry to hear about your unfortunate and sad experience at an early age. However, you must never, ever blame yourself for it. 

While sadly many men are not ashamed to take advantage of females of any age, there are many who are trustworthy and caring. 

Even though it’s always good to be careful and to take your time in any relationship, however considering your situation, you may want to move extra slow in building full trust while you continue to communicate with your partner about your preferences, likes and dislikes. 

You may also want to consider having an online CG or protector who could gently guide you and help you build confidence in protecting yourself. 

At this point, I don’t suggest you join Fetlife or similar sites, however I can’t say enough good things about this site, therefore, enjoy being here but play it safe.

About punishments, as Little Teacup has suggested, you MUST fully agree with any punishment, simple time-out, or having to explain to your caregiver what you did wrong and why it's wrong type of punishments sound perfect to start with. 

In addition, you must also discuss a SAFE WORD and GESTURE in case you want your punishment session to be STOPPED completely prior to starting any punishment at all. 

Keep in mind that it's okay to be soft and shy, however that should not, ever give anyone permission to take advantage of you. 

Best wishes!