Taking Time Away from Being with your Little

[KittyPrettyKitty]

Hiya!

So for all you CGs, do you ever take time away from your little for yourself? If so, then how do you handle your little feeling upset or sad about it? Could you explain from a CG POV to a little why you need to time some time for yourself away from your little? Thank you! <3

[Guest]

I'm not a CG, but I am a mom to my son. And I can answer.

 

CGs are people first. Sometimes they just need a break from it all. They need their space, their time, like everyone does at some point no matter what their title is.

They need time to be an adult and put themselfs first every so often because most of the time their little gets all of them. They become drained. They have to wind down at some point and refill themselfs to give you their best 100%

 

Think of it like this .. They have to take care of themselfs so they can take care of you. They can't pour from an empty cup.

 

Now if you don't like time away or feel you need someone while CG is away then talk about having a baby sitter to care for you while he is away until he is back. Just an idea

 

Hope this helped?? )

Edited January 31, 2019 by Guest

[Guest]

And as a little ... Instead of getting upset when your daddy is away you could also use that time to be you, not as a little but you. Maybe see friends? Or take a walk,or go look around at stores, or if those arent an option just lay around or relax and enjoy peace and quiet. Whatever you prefer when you aren't in little space. His downtime could also be yours.

 

Just a suggestion? )

[KittyPrettyKitty]

Thank you! That definitely helped <3

[Guest]

Glad I can help, message anytime to talk or question and Ill give advice the best I can and try to give positive outlooks to help )

[The RealDaddyCat]

Caregivers do need time for themselves. But they need to be able to explain to their little that they are not leaving them and the time frame should be very short it should not be for an extended period Of time without contact if you are in the same location they may need to have a time where they can just go out with other friends or even if you're not in the same location they may need a night where are they can concentrate on something different for a little bit. They might need a night where they can go out with friends and know that you can handle yourself for a small amount of time. One of the best ways to do this is by giving you a task that you can do maybe they can give you a project to work on such as see how many pictures you can make for me in one night or or something along that lines maybe you can make a craft. I would think they would still need to check on you at bedtime or whatever specific. Of time during the day to make sure you're doing okay.

 

You just have to remember that is just important for your caregiver to take care of themselves. Maybe if you are in the same location or live together maybe they can ask for an evening where the two of you can go out and do big things not always in the caregiver little role

[Groon]

Well I guess I'm a minority because my little is my main focus in life, right before doing what I need to to make my littles life good. I don't take time away from my little cause I need my time, because my little was the one that made everything else worth while. When I'm done with things I must do I escape to my littles world, where I can be refreshed and energized by their joy of their little world. I don't necessarily like all the cartoons and movies and games, but the way they would make my little feel and the way they expressed their joy at whatever was what I really needed. I guess some need their time but for me my time is the best when I was with my little and being renewed by their joy. It made all I did so worth it.

[Guest CharlieFPG]

Let me extrapolate from my experience. I tried 24/7 and cohabited with my former 'little'. As with any relationship, each one of us is an individual. This means that, besides spending time with our partners, is important to spend time alone, have hobbies and in the end, something to talk about by the end of the day.

 

I lack right now the knowledge to elaborate on why is healthy and important, but I can say that a extremely symbiotic relationship, in the long run, will wear everyone out.

 

A balanced partnership, seems to me, require that everyone have activities and interests as individuals outside the scope of the relationship. While I do not mean, or advocate to 'take some time' I advocate for everyone to continue their hobbies, time with friends, etc.

 

E.G. we play D&D and role playing games with a group of friends, and every Sunday or so I bring my laptop to a friend's house, while I am not currently dating, it's important for me to keep contact with my friends and my habits as an individual, such as sleeping enough hours, exercise, the D&D nights, going for a beer, etc.

 

If taking time away means a sort of break from the relationship, it's better if you talk about the relationship itself, as it is most likely a flag to indicate something is not working for the person that is asking for this 'time-out'.

[SamL]

 I can say that a extremely symbiotic relationship, in the long run, will wear everyone out.

 

An excellent post, I think.    I was on my way to bed when I stumbled across this so my reading comprehension is not at it's peak BUT....if I go to bed without asking you about this, it's going to keep me awake and so...

 

I can't focus at the moment but instinctively, I find myself wondering about the nature of the symbiosis.  Would you consider it mutualistic, commonsalistic or parasitic?  Would each of these wear someone out?  Some more than others?  Do you think there may be any of these or other classifications I may have missed, where there exists an immunity to exhaustion?

[Guest CharlieFPG]

An excellent post, I think.    I was on my way to bed when I stumbled across this so my reading comprehension is not at it's peak BUT....if I go to bed without asking you about this, it's going to keep me awake and so...

 

I can't focus at the moment but instinctively, I find myself wondering about the nature of the symbiosis.  Would you consider it mutualistic, commonsalistic or parasitic?  Would each of these wear someone out?  Some more than others?  Do you think there may be any of these or other classifications I may have missed, where there exists an immunity to exhaustion?

 

Let me read the definitions and come back to you so I can give an appropriate answer.

 

I do not believe there is, or exists immunity to exhaustion, so I will concede the point. It will depend mostly on how it is handled.

 

I'm going to say I used the 'parasitic' definition of Symbiosis. I would argue that commensalism is not good either; but I am talking from my own point of view and my experience where I felt I constantly 'gave' and never 'received' (more towards commensalism). Mimicry doesn't strike me as 'healthy' but I've seen it happen in certain dynamics, and Amensalism is as foul as parasitism. Based on a quick read over each definition.

 

The ideal would be a 'mutualistic' approach where both (or all) parts of the partnership benefit and grow. Which I concede, it is also symbiotic.

[SamL]

 

The ideal would be a 'mutualistic' approach where both (or all) parts of the partnership benefit and grow. Which I concede, it is also symbiotic.

 

Thanks for responding...I was so tired last night that when I woke up this morning, I didn't even remember this thread until I saw the notification that you 'liked' it.   Anyway, I definitely wasn't looking for a gotcha moment...but yeah, your conclusion matched my initial thought - that a mutualistic symbiotic relationship would skirt the pitfalls.  That's not to take away from your initial post...most symbiotic relationships don't fall into this category.  Thanks for engaging.

[Guest CharlieFPG]

Thanks for responding...I was so tired last night that when I woke up this morning, I didn't even remember this thread until I saw the notification that you 'liked' it.   Anyway, I definitely wasn't looking for a gotcha moment...but yeah, your conclusion matched my initial thought - that a mutualistic symbiotic relationship would skirt the pitfalls.  That's not to take away from your initial post...most symbiotic relationships don't fall into this category.  Thanks for engaging.

 

Actually I appreciate this; I learned a bit more about symbiosis than what I originally knew.