Trouble With Little :(

[Double Side Daddy]

I’m having trouble with my little, we don’t see each other irl but we’ve met a lot. She is a good person, super cute. But I really care for her sooo much and she does things that hurt me like talk to other guys so ignore what I say, like I’ll be mad at her, she will ask why. I tell her why and she doesn’t litsen to what I say. She says she cares but she doesn’t act like it. She doesn’t ask to go into little space anymore I’ve asked her if she wanted to but she avoided the question twice. I’m did up with giving my all and her not showing any emotion or trying to fix things...but I don’t want to leave her Bc I care about her little side so much. Any ideas?

[Misha]

What I am getting from this is she refuses to communicate with you, she doesn't care about your feelings and how she effects them, and she isn't very emotionally committed. 

 

You say you care about her little side, but it doesn't sound like she even cares about her little side. Or her Daddy. 

 

I'd leave if I were you.

[Guest You're adorable]

Well,

 

I think that you said it yourself and that this one is pretty simple.

 

"She says she cares but she doesn't act like that"

 

What's important are our actions and not our words. She acts like she has no longer any interest with you and the only thing that you achieve by still trying to reach her is hurting yourself more and more. And we should avoid things that hurt us. That's a basic human instinct.

 

You are clearly a caring person that even despite being repeatedly shown lack of interest, continues to care about someone. I tnink there are other littles in the world that would be immensely happy and grateful for someone nice and caring.

 

So I think, although from what little you wrote, I can't possibly know the whole story, you should stop wasting your time on someone that doesn't appreciate it and find someone that will return what you've given them with equal amount of care.

Edited January 20, 2019 by You're adorable

[Double Side Daddy]

I think I should leave to, but we have a past and I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I’ve left in the past Bc she cheated on me. She hasent been the same since I left the second time. I told her this time I wouldn’t leave as long as she was loyal. She today she texted me and said she was going to the movies with her mom and moms friend who has a social awkward son. I said “are you asking for permission or just letting me know” I was mad already...I don’t like that she just does stuff like that. She didn’t try to reassure me that nothing will happen or that she is gonna be loyal..nothing the she text me at 11:00 saying she has phone problems (texted from her computer) and good night. I told her I’d be okay with it we had a little fight though...she doesn’t ever say anything and I just care about her so much I’m tired of all the pain she causes me, I try to tell her how much she hurts me when things like that happen but she just says she will fix it but she never does. She’s been through so much I want to protect her and help her but she only hurts me

[Double Side Daddy]

Also thanks for the reply’s

[Misha]

Okay, yeah. After reading that I now 189% think you need to leave.

[Double Side Daddy]

Thanks a lot for your help! ill go over things with her and tell her about the advice and ill leave....

[JayJayBiscuit]

Had a similar experience with my now ex little.

When you start to feel like there is no interest, more than likely that is the case.

You say you don't want to hurt her but in the process you're being hurt staying in the relationship.

My opinion it's time to end it, maybe keep some kind of friendship but that is up to you.

And no matter how much your heart/mind tell you to try to make things better and get back together...dont!

Sure you'll be happy for a bit but then those pass feelings may return and feel bad that you put yourself in that position again.

Good luck with your decision

[Guest AngelicBunBun]

Don't forget that when we're not in little space or in the ddlg dynamic we're adults. Did she agree to having to ask permission to do things or ask to talk people (boys specifically)? Did you discuss what needed to be worked on before you two got back together or just agreed that you guys "needed eachother"?
 

[Maxibon]

Don't forget that when we're not in little space or in the ddlg dynamic we're adults. Did she agree to having to ask permission to do things or ask to talk people (boys specifically)? Did you discuss what needed to be worked on before you two got back together or just agreed that you guys "needed eachother"?

 

 

This is important! Sometimes things just happen in life. Things that can't only happen with permission. If you guys haven't spoken about permission to do things, she can't be expected to always have to ask you permission for things. Especially when she's dealing with Big Space. I totally understand your worries due to her previous cheating, but just because there's a boy in her plans, it doesn't mean that she's cheating on you. I'm a lesbian, and most of my friends are girls, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to do anything with them. However, I'm just loyal to my girlfriend (I'm salty towards people who cheat, sorry XD). 

 

But yes, communication is key in any relationship, but even more so in BDSM dynamics. You both need to talk about what is okay and what isn't okay. You both need to talk about what you're comfortable and not comfortable with. You both need to talk about what you like and don't like. You both need to set boundaries, and when something happens that isn't okay, you need to talk about it. Discuss it. Come up with a plan that both of you are okay with, that makes things okay. And, most importantly, things need to change. Once you talk about it, you can't just go back to the same old thing and feel insecure again. You also both need to talk about your feelings. You need to open up and talk about your feelings, even though you're the Daddy. You need to tell her the kind of things that you're feeling, not just that you're mad and why. You're feeling scared that she's going to cheat again. And that you need to be reassured that she won't. Tell her that you feel she doesn't act like she cares about you, and that you feel that just saying she does isn't worth much at all. Tell her that you need to communicate more, and talk about your boundaries and rules and what happens in Big Space. And then, if she's not putting an effort in to communicate with you, that's when you break up with her. If she's not trying to put in an effort in the relationship, then it is just going to stay toxic and not worth it. I understand you don't want to hurt her, but you also need to look after yourself 

[SamL]

When someone tells you who they are - believe them.

 

She has told you who she is, repeatedly.

[hat]

Take care of yourself!!!. Being partially ghosted after a good relationship creates pain, we all had experienced that horrible pain... and we all know it can trigger lot of self doubt, so is better to get distance from oneself feelings and don't let those doubts ruminate in our heads.

 

If she is getting a distancing behavior, is not that much on how much you love her, because I know that genuinely you love her, and how god you are, but now is for her present, her behaviors should be seen on their side and her framework.

Edited January 20, 2019 by hat

[DustBunny93]

I do think you should leave.

 

Honestly I would kind of be fed up with you asking all the time if I'm being loyal.

I totally get it. I have been cheated on in two back to back relationships. So I understand the constant worry if your partner is cheating.

 

But maybe she doesn't want to prove every single time that she is being loyal. Honestly if I had to reassure you in every text message and prove to you I'm being loyal that would get to be a tiring task.

 

Maybe when she was going to the movies maybe that was her way of letting you know what was going on. She seemed to be being respectful to you by trying to let you know what was going on. Maybe that was her way of being loyal to you. Like I don't think she thought it was a date being with her mom and her mom's friend (and the son). I don't think she was planning on cheating on you if she's going to the movies with family.

 

She didn't need to text you a million messages about how she's going to be loyal. I mean gee... Be lucky she texted you telling what was going on. She probably thought she was doing a good thing and letting you know and you are going to criticize how she tells you. "are you telling me or asking permission".... Dude... Maybe she didn't have time to ask your permission and really wanted to go spend time with her mom.

 

You have to see what I'm saying.

[Double Side Daddy]

I understand what your saying entirely @littleBunBun93. I don’t hound her she, Ive tried to sit down and tell her my feelings but she ignores me. I don’t constantly text and annoy her I don’t demand things. You forget I actually love her I want to treat her right I just want her happy...but I don’t like the feelings I get when I get ignored and I’ve been over it with her more than once. She doesn’t ever tell me how she feels she has a problem talking about her feelings but I’ve been trying so hard to be there for her when she hurts and help her. So when she treats me like I’m just some other text and waits 45 min to open my msg asking her about her day and if she is doing okay Bc she’s not talking, and she reply’s with “okay” then why am I even here?

[Double Side Daddy]

Thanks @Hat I don’t want distance I want to be close, I told her I had to talk about us and now she is acting like she cares so much telling me to be safe when I drive and things. It’s like she can’t make up her mind...I’m just gonna go, maybe she needs some time without me. I think it’s for the best

[Double Side Daddy]

@samL I know it’s just the feelings get in the way and I want to see her become someone. I want to be beside her, with her and helping her all the way. She needs someone to lean on but I can’t be that man anymore, Ik I can’t