On the topic of fake daddies

[DisForDaddyDom]

-​This is all personal opinion-

So over past year iv heard from so many littles that just want to stop being a little all together because they ran into a daddy that just wanted to control them. Ones that were emotionally abusive and physically abusive. Ones that were basically just in it for them selves the way i see it. It makes me sad thinking about all the things that littles have been through so much and found a way to get away from it all. Then find someone that they think will take care for them and be their daddy. They promise so much and provide so little. They think that they can take advantage of someone who has been broken down before and it infuriates me to no end. DDlg is something near and dear to my heart and hearing so many willing to quit because of a few bad apples JUST. UGGGHHHH.

 

-To Littles-

Im sorry that youv been through so much yet still feel like you want to quit. I promise that there is someone out there that is willing to care for your needs. Both little and non little. We arnt all bad. Some are willing to go above and beyond to make sure you are happy. Its not always easy for us but we do try.

 

-To Daddies-

Being a daddy you have to understand that most littles have been through trauma. They chose to be a little to escape from the harsh realities of the word and go to a place where they can trust you. Dont break that trust. They are usually more sensitive than you think. They can require constant reassurance and thats something you signed up for. Being a daddy isnt just controlling someone and bending them to your will. Some littles arnt sexual in the slightest and you have to understand that. You have to put forth the effort to see them grow as a person and a little. Some littles require more dominance like giving chores and having rules. Being structured. While some dont want or need that type of thing. You have to be ready for depressive/PTSD/ect episodes. Its not easy being a daddy. Please put more thought behind your actions. Dont be the reason why you take something so pure away from someone who really needs it.

[AvaiI]

PREACH

[Guest Prat]

I like this attempt, +1 for you.

The whole trauma thing isn't very accurate, most littles are highly sensitive (which is one of the main reasons why they gravitate to the caregiving dynamic) but to say that most are traumatised is purely speculative.. And a little bit rude I think. Of course not all of us define certain experience as trauma but when you're talking about the medically defined term then it's not applicable in this case.

 

I love the rest and I completely agree with it, there are many people out there who got their concept of being a Daddy/Mommy/Dom from completely inadequate sources such as fantasy literature or porn and such and then they conduct themselves in the way they do, which is highly unhealthy because it's motivated by unrealistic ideas and expectations.

And it's not just the "Tops" this can be said about, but every individual who chooses to partake in the dynamic.

If you have unrealistic ideology going into any relationship with anyone then it can't be healthy, there is just no way.

What is healthy is learning, adapting or changing. If you're an individual who has decided to try out this sort of a relationship and (this being addressed specifically to the Tops that fit into this group) it doesn't go well, usually with your partner drawing the "short end of the stick". And it happens over and over and over again then you should pause for a moment and think to yourself "could it actually be that I'm doing something wrong?" and "is this really the kind of person I want to be in this type of a dynamic".

Of course not all relationships end in a bad way or even end at all, I'm aiming at the specific kind of a relationship where someone gets damaged...

 

The whole term "fake" being thrown around is a completely different topic best saved for some other time btw.

 

That's that from me, I'd like to thank you for this, it's a lovely outcry. I know it isn't much but one step at a time gets you to the top of the hill eventually.

[Guest CharlieFPG]

I understand there are fake daddies, and fake littles. And there are unreasonable expectations.

 

It is important both, to read and educate yourself. And communicate straightforwardly what you want, what you need, any issues you may have and be realistic about how much are you willing to deal with, both as a Daddy, Mommy or little. Communication isn't something that many of us really take good care of.

 

People tend to rush in and end up broken-hearted, or thinking the other part was a 'fake'. Also, we must agree that, while we share a certain sensitivity, not everyone here is dealing with a psychological condition. What is important to remember is that dealing with one (such as depression) is not wrong.

 

But while Caregivers can help their littles to cope with their, say, depression or anxieties, they do not replace professional assistance; nor being a Caregiver means that you are fully responsible for the recovery of a little.

 

If, after talking you consent to a relationship with someone dealing with any of these conditions, you realize you're not up to the task, then it's your fault. You have to read, study, research, grasp and prepare if another individual decides to trust you, and give informed consent based on positive and complete understanding of who the other person is.

 

Littles have to do this as well, and be explicit and sincere on what they expect, what they are dealing with, and accept that their partners are also human, it's not a one-way relationship for either Caregivers or littles.

[DisForDaddyDom]

I like this attempt, +1 for you.

The whole trauma thing isn't very accurate, most littles are highly sensitive (which is one of the main reasons why they gravitate to the caregiving dynamic) but to say that most are traumatised is purely speculative.. And a little bit rude I think. Of course not all of us define certain experience as trauma but when you're talking about the medically defined term then it's not applicable in this case.

 

I love the rest and I completely agree with it, there are many people out there who got their concept of being a Daddy/Mommy/Dom from completely inadequate sources such as fantasy literature or porn and such and then they conduct themselves in the way they do, which is highly unhealthy because it's motivated by unrealistic ideas and expectations.

And it's not just the "Tops" this can be said about, but every individual who chooses to partake in the dynamic.

If you have unrealistic ideology going into any relationship with anyone then it can't be healthy, there is just no way.

What is healthy is learning, adapting or changing. If you're an individual who has decided to try out this sort of a relationship and (this being addressed specifically to the Tops that fit into this group) it doesn't go well, usually with your partner drawing the "short end of the stick". And it happens over and over and over again then you should pause for a moment and think to yourself "could it actually be that I'm doing something wrong?" and "is this really the kind of person I want to be in this type of a dynamic".

Of course not all relationships end in a bad way or even end at all, I'm aiming at the specific kind of a relationship where someone gets damaged...

 

The whole term "fake" being thrown around is a completely different topic best saved for some other time btw.

 

That's that from me, I'd like to thank you for this, it's a lovely outcry. I know it isn't much but one step at a time gets you to the top of the hill eventually.

I meant no disrespect Like i said its just personal opinion. In no way do i know everything about ddlg. I myself still have a long way to go. Just from my personal experiences. 8/10 Littles that i have talked to/ had a relationship with have had some type of mental trauma/mental health issue. I realize i could have worded it differently but i completely agree with you.

[Guest Nurse little]

I’m glad im not the only one that knows there’s fake daddy’s but there not all bad everyone deserves to be happy

[Misha]

I’m glad im not the only one that knows there’s fake daddy’s but there not all bad everyone deserves to be happy

 

Don't worry... in the many years this community has existed, I'm sure some others noticed.