Sexual side of being a caregiver.

[Lil Amulet]

I've been posting a lot lately. As a little. But last night I learned my daddy wanted to be the little. I'm already a mother so it was easy enough for me to switch to a care giving role. However one thing I'm having issues with is the sexual side of it all.

Daddy was my Dom. My master. My everything. Now he's my baby. My dependant and I don't know how to make that bond sexual.. I have a young son as it is. And my little age regressed to 2. I just really don't know... How to go about it.. Or if that part of our lives are going to be very different now. I'm not a domme. I can't stand the thought of hurting my little even sexually. I'm a sub I always have been.. I'm rambling now. Please any advice??

[SamL]

 But last night I learned my daddy wanted to be the little. Please any advice??

 

Yes.  Say 'no'.  I recently had a private discussion in messenger with another member here in which I shared, as part of a larger conversation, of course, the following:

 

 

 

Every BDSM relationship that is even remotely healthy, includes a discussion in which the sub shares her limits. It is rare that a Dom shares (or even considers that he or she has a right, and even a responsibility, to have limits). For instance, I may do some things that my partner would like that I am not the least bit into, but do so because it's important to her. But we will not be doing electric play. I've been (I should probably leave this word out) via electricity and it simply isn't going to happen.

 

Any act that does damage to your sense of self is worth avoiding.  You description sound like this qualifies.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

i would agree with the above. 

you absolutely should not engage in something that you aren't comfortable with, or into. 

he has every right to want what he wants, but you have every right to not be able to, or willing, to provide that as well. 

 

i know this is scary because it's so different from how it started, + it's probably going to change your relationship completely.

but if you aren't interested in switching, or being a dominant; don't be.

don't try to reshape yourself because you're afraid to lose someone you love. 

 

good luck!

[Lil Amulet]

We have yet to have the BDSM limit convo for HIM as a sub I'm quite diverse. I'm just scared to hurt him. But in the MDLB sense.. How does a mommy initiate sexual imatamcy? To me being a mommy and mother is putting her baby first. So his needs are met before mine. But he has such an innocent persona when in little space. I can't bring myself to initiate anything naughty or of the sort.

[kittyboo]

Have you had a conversation about whether he wants to be sexual in his little space, or if he just wants to be cared for? You really should know his expectations and your own limits as a caregiver before engaging in sexual play. Edited January 9, 2019 by kittyboo

[Lil Amulet]

He wants to yes. He asks for me to please him (our way of saying mouth play) anyway. Its literally not him at all. Its me. I love him I WANT HIM badly. Just with the new role I can't seem to get the courage to initiate it.

[Momma'sBoy]

I know for me with my Mommy we usually get in the mood when she tucks me into bed and cuddles with me.

 

There's enough raw physical contact that "one thing leads to another" an we get turned on enough for things to get started kinda organically.

 

Maybe you don't need to "initiate" as such and just to let things escalate?

[Alexdander]

We have yet to have the BDSM limit convo for HIM as a sub I'm quite diverse. I'm just scared to hurt him. But in the MDLB sense.. How does a mommy initiate sexual imatamcy? To me being a mommy and mother is putting her baby first. So his needs are met before mine. But he has such an innocent persona when in little space. I can't bring myself to initiate anything naughty or of the sort.

 

He wants to yes. He asks for me to please him (our way of saying mouth play) anyway. Its literally not him at all. Its me. I love him I WANT HIM badly. Just with the new role I can't seem to get the courage to initiate it.

 

Hi,

 

If I have understood it well, the problem here is that you are not comfortable with initiate the sex play, not with the sex play itself.

 

I would tell you that you do not have to do it. I do not initiate the sex play with my little boy, I let him search for me when he wants it. I understand this feeling of not wanting to do sth naughty to someone that is so inocent. I really enjoy having sex with him, but I prefer him to initiate it when in little space. I think it is not something bad. You want to give him what he needs and what he wants, so is understandable that you do not want do sth because you want it -but because he wants. He is your baby.

 

Furthermore, you do not have to hurt him to have sexy time. I do not like pain, but I can be a dom without it. More than that, you can be a mommy sub. It is not usual, but it is alright. He can ask you what you want and you can give it to him as a mother. It is not something wrong.

 

However, if you do not like the idea of having a sexy time with he in little space at all, you should not do it. Stablish it as your limit

[Alexdander]

I know for me with my Mommy we usually get in the mood when she tucks me into bed and cuddles with me.

 

There's enough raw physical contact that "one thing leads to another" an we get turned on enough for things to get started kinda organically.

 

Maybe you don't need to "initiate" as such and just to let things escalate?

 

 

This is another option. You dont have to make things happen, just let them happen

[Lil Amulet]

Wow this has been all such amazing advice ❤❤ thank you guys so much.