Moving out of home- Advice please.

[dollybabycakes]

Hi everyone. I thought I'd come here for some advice. I'm looking to move out of home to move in with my Daddy. I really really want to do it but I have a concern. My mother isn't ready to let me go yet. She always jokes that she wants me to live with her until I'm 60 and doesn't want me to leave home, so I'm quite scared and worried to tell her that I want to move out. 

 

Any tips or advice on how to have this conversation? Or ways to make it easier on her? I just don't want to hurt her or to start a fight with her. 

 

Thanks x 

[Child Of Light]

I think all mothers are like this that are close with their daughters. Even when they are over the age of 18   Has your mother met your Daddy? How long have you two been together? Do you have your own independence (i.e job/ saving)?

[dollybabycakes]

I think all mothers are like this that are close with their daughters. Even when they are over the age of 18   Has your mother met your Daddy? How long have you two been together? Do you have your own independence (i.e job/ saving)?

 

Yeah she has met him and knows plenty about him. We've been together for about like 2 years now. And yeah I have savings and am currently seeking employment. My Daddy is very financially stable so money wouldn't be an issue for us. My problem is just how to tell her. I really don't want to upset her but I feel as though I'm ready to move out. 

[Alaskan Daddy]

this is what I would do and say. "mom I love you and I love everything that you have done for me. I love how you have helped me get to where I am today. You have allowed be to feel confident in my choices and I know what I am going to say may hurt you but I am ready to move out.' Your choice may hurt her, but she will get over it if she truly wants what is best for you. You just need to stand firm in a calm matter.

When you do this you have to be calm but firm. The biggest positive change that happened with my mom was when I stood firm with her in my wants and desires. She did not agree but she respected my choices. I am sure this choice will only bring you closer.

It sounds like you have a loving relationship with your mom, but parents are here to guide their children so they will be ready to stand in life on their own. You can do this. Just stand up for your self. 

I hope this helps. Good luck

[Child Of Light]

Yeah she has met him and knows plenty about him. We've been together for about like 2 years now. And yeah I have savings and am currently seeking employment. My Daddy is very financially stable so money wouldn't be an issue for us. My problem is just how to tell her. I really don't want to upset her but I feel as though I'm ready to move out. 

 

Two years is a long time (my worry was you just met him and wanted to move in). And good for you, for seeking employment (despite not needing to). Being financially stable for yourself, is very important. I'd just tell her how serious it is between you two, and keep mentioning the future you two have. And tell her 'he's the one'. She'll know. And she'll understand.

[dollybabycakes]

this is what I would do and say. "mom I love you and I love everything that you have done for me. I love how you have helped me get to where I am today. You have allowed be to feel confident in my choices and I know what I am going to say may hurt you but I am ready to move out.' Your choice may hurt her, but she will get over it if she truly wants what is best for you. You just need to stand firm in a calm matter.

When you do this you have to be calm but firm. The biggest positive change that happened with my mom was when I stood firm with her in my wants and desires. She did not agree but she respected my choices. I am sure this choice will only bring you closer.

It sounds like you have a loving relationship with your mom, but parents are here to guide their children so they will be ready to stand in life on their own. You can do this. Just stand up for your self. 

I hope this helps. Good luck

 

Thank you so much! This is great advice. It's made me feel a bit better about my decision so thanks!  

[dollybabycakes]

Two years is a long time (my worry was you just met him and wanted to move in). And good for you, for seeking employment (despite not needing to). Being financially stable for yourself, is very important. I'd just tell her how serious it is between you two, and keep mentioning the future you two have. And tell her 'he's the one'. She'll know. And she'll understand.

 

Yeah I don't think I'd be moving in with him if I had just met him (although that hasn't stopped people before haha). Thank youuuu. That's really helped!

[Lola Step]

My advice, apart from the fabulous advice that has already been given, is to perhaps (if you have the patience) ease her into it by maybe starting off with only staying at you and your Daddy's house for a couple of nights a week and then gradually increasing it over the course of a couple of months? I know this is probably the longest option suggested but I think it would probably be better all round- it would give your mom time to get use to the idea of you being gone, it would give you time to get used to being independent, and it would also give you and your Daddy time to adjust to living together without the pressure of it being 24/7. Again this is only a suggestion, but I hope things work out for you guys