Forum 'ghosters' & attention seekers

[hurtnolivingthing]

So, I've been back here for a good few weeks now.. and am noticing a disturbing new trend:

 

There seems to be a continual influx of newbies at the moment.

Now.. genuine newbies are obviously not a problem.

 

What I am seeing though, is a trend for some (quite a lot actually) 'newbies' who post

an introductory thread, detailing a problem they claim to have.. Or a particular interest

they lay claim to.

 

What follows is of course predictable: nice and concerned forum members, post their replies.

I'm sure some even send out a friend request.

 

BUT the 'newbie' who started all of this activity, fails to ever reply to 'her' original post, or to those who have taken the time & energy to answer.

 

This is beyond just being rude and inconsiderate to other members.

 

I now believe that this is a form of deliberate attention-seeking, time-wasting and forum ghosting by fake new members.

 

So, I urge all genuine members of this forum to be on your guard.

I know the moderators are over-worked already; so we genuine members need to be more mindful of protecting our own safe-space i.e this forum.

 

Best wishes to all genuine members & newbies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

There's an influx of new members due to Tumblr closing their doors to the DDLG Community and other adult content.

It's also Summer break in Australia, and Xmas holidays in most countries. 

 

When people reply to a topic, you just gotta accept that the person posting the Original Question or Inquiry may never bother to read it, like it, or respond to it. 

It's the internet. If you (meaning anyone reading this, not you personally) think you're going to be disheartened or put off by a lack of response or attention from the OP then reconsider posting and save yourself some time that could be better spent chatting with already established friends or something. 

 

Personally I'm just an incessant rambler and don't really care if it takes me 5-10mins to type out a response, because I talk and talk and talk.

Although I tend not to respond to repeat topics if a question has already been previously asked, as the OP could very easily just do a quick search and find what they're looking for. 

 

I don't think it's as extreme as attention seeking, being purposefully rude nor inconsiderate.

 

The internet's for all sorts of people.

People who basically live online.

Some who are in and out.

Or some who just slip the tip in and log out again for another 5 months, and forget all their passwords and accounts constantly because they're so rarely online.

And some who don't even have social media outside of their forum account that they sporadically signed up for. 

 

Eventually all new topics get pushed out of the way by newer ones. 

[hurtnolivingthing]

Thank you for your thoughts BruiseJuice.

 

Whatever their reason for joining us, I do think there is a contingency of people here now..

that are simply up to no good. I think they get off on how many responses they can get, & how many friends they

can make while investing nothing of themselves.

 

These are the people I am speaking about. I have no problems with people who set out

with good intentions, but may then have problems communicating. 

 

There are people all over the Internet, who troll and ghost etc, just for the heck of it.

I think there are more of them amongst us now.

 

Some members may not care, but I'd sooner keep my guard up.

Personally.. I now only speak to people I know to be genuine.

 

That's my choice. I have enough friends and a busy life elsewhere.

To my fellow members, I'm just saying.. be aware, be careful. That's all.

[little green dragon]

I feel so called out LOL I am definitely a newb who did that exact thing, excitedly post an intro and never respond to the mods who commented. I read and appreciated their feedback, of course! But mods intimidate me a little when it comes to being friends with them since I imagine they must be busy... I was really hoping to talk to other newbs who are stumbling their way through things like me. It’s just what I wanted at the time I first joined. And then after a day or two I thought it would have been awkward to finally respond. The more time passes the more awkward it would be to respond.

Honestly I feel like moderators comments discourage other members from adding to a conversation. No response could be “better” and more helpful than a mods after all. But obviously it’s really nice of them to welcome new members... and their job! I don’t mean to say that in a mean way at all it’s just something I’m wondering about. Anyway. I would focus on accounts who are active if it bothers you to see shy, fleeting newbs!

[93243_1655600696]

I understand your frustration. When I take the time respond, I'd like that acknowledged. This site is not the greatest at notifying me of when people respond to my topics though. I try to go back and check to see if I've gotten responses, but I wouldn't be surprised if I missed some! Also, sometimes a topic is more of a prompt and I don't necessarily have anything worthwhile to say about someone's response. (Exp. What's your favorite movie to get into little space?)

[SamL]

There are those I've taken the time to respond to who have never responded back, but I have had good, friendly, and established members read the post I wrote, liked it and contacted me to discuss my point of view.  Out of those contacts, some friendships have been started.  Without the questions being asked, I may have missed meeting some people that I have been very happy to have met.  So, it seems that I owe some of these ghosters my gratitude.  Or, I could be pissed off about it.  My choice - and yours.

[hurtnolivingthing]

Thank you all for your thoughts.

 

I want to be absolutely clear.. I am trying to warn others about people who deliberately set out to

provoke a response, with no intention of ever responding to any response they may get.

 

People who are willfully intending not to interact. Getting the response and/or collecting friends is their goal.

They do exist. Elsewhere and everywhere on the Net; and sadly more here of late.

Example: I know of other members who have been ghosted as soon as they become friends (despite trying

to maintain correspondence with their new contact).

 

As I said earlier; I do believe there are more people among us now, who have no good intentions to begin with.

 

I'm only trying to warn other members (particularly those who are sensitive and well-mannered people),

who find the kind of behaviour I've outlined, unacceptable.

Good manners and consideration of others, may no longer be important to many today,

but is still second nature to some of us. 

 

So yes. Take or leave my comments as you see fit.

 

 

Best wishes to all the genuine and well-intentioned people here.. new or old

Edited December 21, 2018 by hurtnolivingthing

[hurtnolivingthing]

I feel so called out LOL I am definitely a newb who did that exact thing, excitedly post an intro and never respond to the mods who commented. I read and appreciated their feedback, of course! But mods intimidate me a little when it comes to being friends with them since I imagine they must be busy... I was really hoping to talk to other newbs who are stumbling their way through things like me. It’s just what I wanted at the time I first joined. And then after a day or two I thought it would have been awkward to finally respond. The more time passes the more awkward it would be to respond.

Honestly I feel like moderators comments discourage other members from adding to a conversation. No response could be “better” and more helpful than a mods after all. But obviously it’s really nice of them to welcome new members... and their job! I don’t mean to say that in a mean way at all it’s just something I’m wondering about. Anyway. I would focus on accounts who are active if it bothers you to see shy, fleeting newbs!

 

Don't feel called out little green dragon. I am not including people like you, who have good intentions

[little green dragon]

aw don't worry I was just joking about being called out Hurt. I can see why being ghosted really bothers you. I can't personally imagine someone doing it maliciously but that doesn't mean I'm right! Attention hoes be doing their thing. I hope you don't have anymore troubling experiences. 

[Amelia2610]

Reading, and I’m thinking that personally I’m more inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt. I tend toward being a lurker mostly, responding only to threads in which I’ve more than some working knowledge of. My 2 cents

[hurtnolivingthing]

Reading, and I’m thinking that personally I’m more inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt. I tend toward being a lurker mostly, responding only to threads in which I’ve more than some working knowledge of. My 2 cents

Nothing wrong with lurking. You can learn so much by reading alone. I do it even now

[Amelia2610]

Nothing wrong with lurking. You can learn so much by reading alone. I do it even now

Thanks for the affirmation. =)