Self Destructive Little

[Katzchens Vati]

My Little girl has just went through a nasty disillusion with a physically and mentally abusive prick. she is very depressed and nothing I do seems to be helping, I am trying to get her out of the stressful and toxic house that she lives in with her parents, in an attempt to cheer her up some. but it seems like every other night shes trying to self harm. advice needed.

Edited December 18, 2018 by Katzchens Vati

[Alaskan Daddy]

There are 2 things you can do. One is to try and have her get some professional help. The other thing is to try to get her to open up why she wants to self harm, and what she is thinking when she wants to self harm. Most people who self harm are trying to replace their emotional pain with physical pain. You might be able to be her outlet for her emotional pain by being there for her. I have had a few littles that self-harmed. All you can do is to give them a safe place to unload their feelings with you

I hope this helps

[Katzchens Vati]

We live about an hour apart currently, I try to go up and see her when ever I can. She is seeking help from a counselor at her University, however the counselor does not work over the holidays. She has told me that she feels safe and able to share her feelings with me. And when we are together she has tons of fun but as soon as I take her home she reverts right back.

[Alaskan Daddy]

can you try to get her open up to you over the phone when you are away from each other? 

[Katzchens Vati]

We do a vid chat every evening. I will try to get her to open up as to hows shes feeling more. here recently though I have felt slightly off put asking her though fearing that recalling what shes had to deal with that day may cause her to break in to a self harm state and being an hour away I always feel helpless when we are vid chating and she starts to self harm. I do my best to talk her down. but I fear that one time that I cant. or fail to.

Edited December 18, 2018 by Katzchens Vati

[TheTexanDaddy]

If that counselor isn't working for her maybe she needs a different one. Find one that does immersion therapy. It's not as scary as it sounds lol.

[sullenDaddybones]

I have seen a lot of self harm in my life in women. I had a Little that would spend hours in a bathroom selfharming, scratching their face till it looked like it was beaten to a pulp. I asked why repeatedly, offered ultimatums and tried to get them to a Doctor. They would shrug me off, blame me, do it worse to infuriate me, etc... I didn't realize force won't work. Not long term...

 

If the reason they're self harming is to do with a desire to feel something other than the pain they have inside and that pain is deep. Very deep... the road is going to be long and hard. IF they want help it could be many years or decades for healing if it's ever had. Nobody can measure another's pain and their coping strategy. Some turns to drugs...some turn to hurting others...some turn to madness..on and on.. it's is merely a coping mechanism in most cases and in other cases much more complex.

 

I probably suggest you find a very gifted psychiatrist/psychologist and get to the bottom of why they're doing what they're doing. Knowing what you're in for if you stick around. If it's not too, too bad time itself may heal a good deal of the pain they're dealing with. Being in a toxic place and or carrying the toxic mindset will probably mean they'll never heal. I know from personal experience and ultimately it could be something you live with for decades or forever. 

We do a vid chat every evening. I will try to get her to open up as to hows shes feeling more. here recently though I have felt slightly off put asking her though fearing that recalling what shes had to deal with that day may cause her to break in to a self harm state and being an hour away I always feel helpless when we are vid chating and she starts to self harm. I do my best to talk her down. but I fear that one time that I cant. or fail to.

[LittleCelticLass]

I am a recovering self harmer. I still have relapses, but I have a good support system. If her current counsellor isn't much help, find another. I went through three. Don't give up, and don't try to force or cajole. Try giving an alternative. I draw on myself with Sharpies, at the direction of my therapist. Something like that might help, but needs to happen under medical supervision as it has to replace, not become another crutch.

Best of luck.

[Amelia2610]

I talk to select few people when the stress builds up - friends and my Daddy. My Daddy has a definite rule against this behaviour and is open to me seeking support from him if I were to struggle.

[Katzchen]

I am the little he is talking about.

It most definitely is relapsing I'm struggling with. Going through a divorce and some nasty family issues from my abusive ex-husband. Daddy and I talk extensively about how I am feeling but sometimes the struggles get too difficult and when he is an hour away sometimes I just can't seem to stop myself and end up self-harming no matter what the cost is. Once all of the drama from the divorce and family matters settle down I should be in a much safer head space all the times.

[Guest Babykitkat 23]

I understand how you feel. My family wants nothing to do with me. As they have tried to get me deemed mentally incompotent. they took my money only letting me have $20 every two weeks for food. I stopped eating there because of all the coments of how i eat their food and use their stuff, and how i will get fat/how i already am fat.

Every day is name calling and being told i shouldnt be here. but i can't leave because they need me and they sabotage every attempt i make to furhter my life.

 

i have scars from self hurting and many spots that are still healing. I self harm because I feel like its my punishment. I dont have a support system in my area. But the best thing to do is leave that place. I am making plans and trying all i can to leave. I wish you the best of luck. You are beautiful human that the universe took time to make. you have my support if it helps. im sorry its not a easy ride, but I you are strong and have others who love you for you.

 

Best of luck and hugs.

[MadelynVictoria]

Get her to find a different psychologist who can help her. Sometimes it takes going through multiple therapists until you find the right one.

 

As for what you can do for her,

 

-keep offering your support. Keep encouraging communication with you when she needs somebody, ask her throughout the day how she's doing/feeling and if she needs to talk. When she realizes she can talk with you, she might be more apt to talk with you when she's feeling like hurting herself.

 

- Listen to her. Truly listen. Let her say whatever she wants to say, and let her do anything she wants(besides hurting herself) to do to work through the feelings that are making her want to hurt herself.

 

-Look up alternatives to self harm, and may be recommend some to her

 

-make an emergency kit for her. Get a box, and put things in them that soothe and help her. They can be treats that she likes, soothing things like candles, bath bombs, or distracting things like fidget spinners, a book, etc etc etc

 

 

You're a really sweet partner for wanting to help your girlfriend, and I hope that she gets the help she needs

[Guest lil-kitten22]

I dont know if this will help, but when i have stuggles with wanting to self harm or physical pain to reduce mental pain i started asking my partners for spankings. Daddy now does matinence spankings every other week, more if i request it. He usually uses a switch and pays attention to my eyes after ever 10. He says that when my eyes show little and innocence rather then adult and pain, that I've let go whats bringing me down and making me want to harm. While many people tend to not see this as a solution it is a major help. The pain is given in a loving and healthy way, after care is there, its showing love trust and support from both sides, makes (me) feel less alone durring the pain, and is done in a more controlled setting. Because it can be set up as a regular thing it can help with reducing self harm because the outlet is available and should shift the outlet from unsafe to safe.

Sharpies and drawing on self is another good idea, but does not work for everyone. Also just trying councilors or therapist until she finds one that she connects with and actualy helps her. Ultimately getting her away from the situation will be the most helpful

[RainbowBrite]