Being trans and a daddy

[Guest daddy.kai98]

So I need some advice, I am a daddy but tend to have a hard time keeping partners. I don't know if its something I am doing wrong or maybe they have an internal problem that telling them not to be with me because I am trans. 

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

I’m fairly certain if the issue was with you being trans then they wouldn’t be expressing interest in the first place, and wouldn’t lead you on- unless you wait until you’re already into the relationship to tell them. In an ideal world that sort of thing wouldn’t matter, but that’s not reality in present time.

 

The issue is just as likely to be something else. Do you have any additional information you can give for people to better assist you with their advice?

[Guest JasmineStarshine]

-Warning: Warm & Fuzzy Validating Post From Another Trans* Person-

 

I don’t see how the issue could be with your gender! My Daddy is also trans* and I cannot fathom how anyone could have an issue with the majesty of a trans*masculine person

 

-Validation End-

 

But is all seriousness, I’m guessing it might be something else? Plus, if someone has a problem with you because of who you are, that’s THEIR fault, not your’s!

[Little kaiya]

My Daddy is trans and it really is a total non issue to me. He's kind, caring, protects me, loves me and is just an incredible man. The fact he got a bad deal with his body sucks but it doesnt make him any less a man or an amazing Daddy.

 

All I can suggest is try talking to your littles and see if theres some kind of pattern.

 

Little kaiya

[gorebaby]

If the issue is with you being trans then it doesn't sound like those littles deserved you. If its not, then its best to see what it could be. Talk with an ex that you ended on good terms with and see what they say! 

Being trans doesn't change that you're a man, not at all, remember that.

[TimeLady93]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with a daddy being a transman. Or a mommy being a transwoman. I really dont think it has anything to do with gender in this aspect.

[SharkPrince]

If you 'have a hard time keeping partners' why is that your fault? Sometimes people are incompatible and the fact that one person has an issue with you, doesn't mean that issue is a flaw or anything, it's just not for them.

 

In the past I had somebody break up with me because i was "too immature" and now the person I'm with now loves that I'm immature because it keeps her smiling and makes her laugh.

 

You don't have to change yourself to match what other people are looking for, because you are what somebody is looking for.

 

You will find someone why appreciates everything that you are, unfortunately that can just take some time

Edited March 17, 2019 by Sharkprince

[Sadie Tremaine]

So, a little bit of a different perspective. Let me explain. I come from an Ageplay perspective, so less of a real-life dynamic. It also means that there is more separation between the adult side and the little side. (Like, just because you have authority over the little side doesn't mean you have that authority over the Adult side.)

 

But we also use this term called 'inners'. Inners are emotionally real parts of yourself that are all there for a reason. And that means that sometimes you can have opposite sex inners.

 

So basically I'm agreeing with the others that the fact that you're trans shouldn't be an issue, especially if that's shared up front with people, which I'm assuming it would be. And, if it is an issue, rest assured that that isn't a reflection on you at all. It's a reflection on the other person, whether that be simply because they're unsure of how to process that information and react or whether they're opposed to it, etc. 

 

You are who you are, and you can find the right person for you who will accept you as you are completely. You just have to be willing to wait for that person. 

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

It's a sensitive topic, but I think the important thing is to be up front with potential partners, as others have suggested. If you're clear about who you are then there's no reason for you to worry and there could be any number of reasons why relationships haven't succeeded so far. Mostly, in my experience, this boils down to some form of incompatibility. Sometimes it just isn't meant to be, and even though that can be painful you have to keep faith that you will eventually find the right person for you. Have you been able to ask any of your exes why they decided to end the relationship, in case they were not clear? In cases of ghosting this obviously isn't possible, but if you got an "it's not you it's me" or something like that, you could at least ask the person for a more meaningful reason - assuming you'll be able to cope with hearing it. Many people won't want to give one, and you have to accept that. But if you don't ask you don't get, right? In my opinion at least, you have nothing to lose by asking if the relationship is over anyway.

 

Finally, there are people for whom a trans partner is not what they're looking for. And some people may believe themselves to be totally okay with a trans partner and enter into a relationship only to realise that they aren't as okay with it as they thought. I don't want to lie or sugarcoat it for you - that can happen in some cases. From my perspective as an asexual, I've had people before who told me they were totally okay with asexuality and wanted a nonsexual relationship, only to turn around later (in one case, many months later) and say that actually they wanted a sexual relationship. I don't assign those people any blame - they genuinely believed at the start that they wanted one thing, or were okay with me being the way I am, only to discover something about themselves over the course of that relationship. It isn't a case of being deceptive or leading you on, at least not in the majority of cases. Not everyone wants a trans partner and not everyone wants an asexual partner. As people who are in a minority community within a minority community, that's gonna happen to us and we have to tolerate it when it does with as much dignity and grace as we can, in my opinion.

Edited March 19, 2019 by crazycatdaddy