Spectrum of Gender

[Dancingwolf879]

Hey! Looking to see if there are other trans (male, female or non binary, yes, they all fall under the trans flag) mommy’s/daddy’s/caregiver’s. Wanting to find others like myself and ask questions on just random things related (especially to being a trans male).

[TwitchySwitchy]

I'm a trans female mommy and my babygirl is also trans. I'm an open book, ask away.

[LittleBunnyCici]

There are a few trans/nb role-call posts already, so there are plenty of us.

 

I'm a trans girl Mommy/switch myself.

[Dancingwolf879]

Hey, sorry for the late reply, hope you’ve been having a good holiday!

 

Basically, what I’m worried about, is I’m quite soft for a Papa and just scared that I won’t be able to provide for my Little the way they deserve (also genderfluid). And, also, sometimes I worry about not being seen as valid as a Papa since a lot of things I see play into being born cis. Being bigger than your little, being strong and able to physically care for them if needed, and just a generally more dominant personality (not necessarily a cis thing just not a me thing, cause, I’m pretty soft).

 

My Little didn’t actually realize I was trans when we met until I said something to them (before I started hormones) and I’ve been on hormones now for almost half a year. It’s been a slow process but worth it. We’re trying to move in but I’m also looking into surgery and worried about making it to where they have to take care of me for those few weeks since I’ll be a little helpless. I don’t want them to have to take care of me and end up hating it all, as well as the fact that I’m worried if they’re ready for those changes themselves.

 

They don’t care about the scars that I’ll have from it (only looking into top surgery). During intimate moments already they kind of just ignore my chest, which helps a lot with the dysphoria since that’s where the worst of my issues comes from at this point. My only thing is that they haven’t ever, taken a look at what I have down there even though I’ve given them the go ahead. I know it’s a way of them trying not to make me uncomfortable but it’s almost like they’re making themselves uncomfortable for my sake and I don’t like it.

 

 

Sorry, this was a really disjointed and everywhere reply. Hope it makes sense. Thanks in advance.

[softly]

Baby enby here~ 

[prince eefy]

i'm a Little enby here :3

[baby_k]

Basically, what I’m worried about, is I’m quite soft for a Papa and just scared that I won’t be able to provide for my Little the way they deserve (also genderfluid). And, also, sometimes I worry about not being seen as valid as a Papa since a lot of things I see play into being born cis. Being bigger than your little, being strong and able to physically care for them if needed, and just a generally more dominant personality (not necessarily a cis thing just not a me thing, cause, I’m pretty soft).

 

My Little didn’t actually realize I was trans when we met until I said something to them (before I started hormones) and I’ve been on hormones now for almost half a year. It’s been a slow process but worth it. We’re trying to move in but I’m also looking into surgery and worried about making it to where they have to take care of me for those few weeks since I’ll be a little helpless. I don’t want them to have to take care of me and end up hating it all, as well as the fact that I’m worried if they’re ready for those changes themselves.

 

They don’t care about the scars that I’ll have from it (only looking into top surgery). During intimate moments already they kind of just ignore my chest, which helps a lot with the dysphoria since that’s where the worst of my issues

 

I honestly speaking don't understand these genderfluid things at all BUT if you look what you wrote there ( I bolded some of the important parts ): you just seem to lack little selfconfidence. Same issues are said by other daddies also. And it's okay. What I think it is, is just you thinking that you need to be some superman person when that is not true at all. You are who you are. Being a good daddy has nothing to do with how you look, how physically strong you are and so forward. Good daddy does not even have to be dominant! Some littles like it that way and to them a gentler person is a lot better fit.

 

You being worried that they need to take care of you... Guess what: that is called a relationship. Even in ddlg rel, taking care of your partner goes both ways. Let your little show love to you by caring for you also sometimes Being cared does not make you bad daddy or failed daddy, it makes you human. And relationship where one party of the rel is never cared and looked after? It seems awfully one sided.

 

And the last thing you wrote? Seems to me your little loves you for you. They are happy with you and how you are, who you are. So, just appreciate that sort of love where seems you are truly accepted <3 I think your little tries their best to be good partner for you, so try to stop worrying too much

[TwitchySwitchy]

Sometimes our dysphoria over being trans seeps into our lives in other ways. Once you get into a sexual relationship with someone it's bound to creep up. The number one method to deal with this is to ask your partner what they like and how they feel about everything. And remember to believe what they say. If they say everything is ok and they are comfortable, believe them. You seem like you have their best interests at heart and there is no reason to believe they don't feel the same way. All relationships should be back and forth. Remember, they are little, but they're not a child. There is no reason to believe that they will not be able to help out. If it makes you guys feel better then the extra workload is chores and when it's done you could treat them to a fun day out or something. That way they may end up doing "big things" in a "little" way. 

[Little kaiya]

Hey, sorry for the late reply, hope you’ve been having a good holiday!

Basically, what I’m worried about, is I’m quite soft for a Papa and just scared that I won’t be able to provide for my Little the way they deserve (also genderfluid). And, also, sometimes I worry about not being seen as valid as a Papa since a lot of things I see play into being born cis. Being bigger than your little, being strong and able to physically care for them if needed, and just a generally more dominant personality (not necessarily a cis thing just not a me thing, cause, I’m pretty soft).

My Little didn’t actually realize I was trans when we met until I said something to them (before I started hormones) and I’ve been on hormones now for almost half a year. It’s been a slow process but worth it. We’re trying to move in but I’m also looking into surgery and worried about making it to where they have to take care of me for those few weeks since I’ll be a little helpless. I don’t want them to have to take care of me and end up hating it all, as well as the fact that I’m worried if they’re ready for those changes themselves.

They don’t care about the scars that I’ll have from it (only looking into top surgery). During intimate moments already they kind of just ignore my chest, which helps a lot with the dysphoria since that’s where the worst of my issues comes from at this point. My only thing is that they haven’t ever, taken a look at what I have down there even though I’ve given them the go ahead. I know it’s a way of them trying not to make me uncomfortable but it’s almost like they’re making themselves uncomfortable for my sake and I don’t like it.

Sorry, this was a really disjointed and everywhere reply. Hope it makes sense. Thanks in advance.

Hi,

 

I saw this and thought maybe I could share my experience with my Daddy and maybe it might help bring you some comfort.

 

My Daddy is a transgender man, we actually have an appointment tomorrow so he can start hormones, and is on the smaller side of things in terms of height and weight. I'm genderfluid but was born as a genetic male with a few odd hormone twists it turned out.

 

We've talked about things and he used to share some of the same concerns you've expressed in terms of being able to physically care for me and whether others might not see him as a "valid" Daddy. Physically is it perfect, honestly no, BUT with some discussion we've found ways to make it work and there really isnt anything he cant do care wise other than pick me up in his arms yet. The physical element is only as much of an issue as you let it become. In terms of how others may see him as a Daddy, well the only opinion that really matters in our eyes is ours and we both see him as Daddy, no ands, ifs or buts about it.

 

In terms of transition my Daddy will eventually have both surgeries so he can finally have the right body. Will he need me to help care for him after the surgeries, yep, and I'm totally ready for that because I love him. To me being a little doesnt mean never having responsibilities. I love him, I want him to finally have the right body so I will support him every way I can.

 

As for intimacy all I can say is trust your partner/little. My Daddy asked me to avoid certain areas so I do. It doesnt make me uncomfortable at all. It is what it is and we deal with it through our love. If your little says they arent uncomfortable then believe them.

 

To me being a Daddy isnt about physical parts or size. It's a personality, it's a desire to care, comfort and protect. My Daddy, like you, got the wrong body BUT he's still far more a Daddy in my eyes than a lot of other men who got lucky enough to get the correct body but who seem to think being a Daddy is making their little serve them when they want.

 

Just my two cents but honestly, believe in yourself and your little, it's what Daddy and I do and it's let us have 14 amazing months together with no end anywhere in sight.

 

Little kaiya

Edited February 14, 2019 by Little kaiya