Tips for being a better Dad/bear?

[yungsaracen]

First time posting here and I'm kinda nervous. Here goes. As a self-identified "Dad" --- even though I'm not in an explicit DD/lg relationship right now --- are there any resources for being a better Dad? Some context: I'm in a casual, long-distance thing, and I really like her. We've set boundaries, talk about our feelings, everything. I journal my thoughts to keep myself in check and have even journaled some games I want to play when we see each other. But, yesterday I'd been drinking and sent my girl a barrage of texts on her day off, no less, and after a long day I pounced at the opportunity to call her. After calling her Saturday.

 

We've reiterated to each other we don't have any expectations, we just want to go with the flow, but yesterday she had to tell me to stop putting so much pressure on when we meet and to just let it happen. And today, after I thanked her for checking me and how I need to be better, she said she's constantly worried that I'm getting too emotionally attached. We talk about clingy subs a lot, but I might be being a little clingy right now.

 

We have nicknames for each other. But I want to be the person that cares for her --- since she cares for so many people --- that tells her that I'm proud of her, be there to support her. Just be her bear like she's my bunny. But she has bad anxiety and I feel awful for making her feel scared. My friends have said "less is more" and with finals coming up I will be texting (and drinking) less. Help?

 

Sorry if this is a double post. I'm new here and I really would like some help with this.

 

EDIT: I should add, I also have anxiety and depression I think it's really gotten better overall since I started talking to her. I trust her and I'm content. When she thought we needed to discuss and redefine boundaries, she told me, and I was receptive. I was so proud of her for doing that. She's told me that because I believe in her she feels good. But like I said, I don't want to be a source of anxiety for her.

Edited December 4, 2018 by yungsaracen

[sullenDaddybones]

Great questions, generally the Littles I've dealt with let me know precisely what their limits are. When I was a young man I was pushy or jealous or cared what is going on beyond my vision. Now, hmmm...

 

It better be one wonderful Little for me to care and if you found that be happy and lay off. The level of energy and time she wants to put in will be revealed to you in a few weeks. If you're not happy with the levely of clingy then it's up to you if you want to find a New Little that wants to spend more time or can. Some Littles want to call you Daddy and KIK 5 messages a Day. I've had another that demanded 8 hours of  day of Phone Calls till I felt were overdoing it personally. 

 

Generally I find if a gal has real life interest and the energy/time she will want more of you. Not always but just my experience. 

Also plenty of us suffer anxiety and depression or other issues. I bet it's 80-90% of the US population at a given time. Chillax, breath and realize this is a world of anything can happen and go with the flow. Enjoy a week if you get it a lifetime if you do. Nothing is as we imagine it....it's as two people imagine it and meet in the middle as a reality

 

Good luck bud

[yungsaracen]

Thanks man. I was proud of my decision to let her know what my expectations were for myself with regards to her and us, and because of finals these next two weeks (and because I need to step back some) that I will only be texting her good morning and texting/tucking her in at night because of the time zone difference. Then during the day I started second-guessing myself if I made the wrong decision. But after I texted her good night and she told me she stunted and sent me a picture from her day, I know I made the right decision for both of us.

 

Tl;dr: making the right decision, second-guessing, but ultimately making the right decision >>>>>

Edited December 5, 2018 by yungsaracen