New daddy needs advice on aftercare

[Daddyt93]

I'm new to the ddlg lifestyle and so is my little. It's been going well so far but she says that after sex she still feels vulnerable and I guess I just don't really grasp the concept of after care. Can you guys tell me what you do for your littles?

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

There's a lot of things you could do for aftercare..like cuddles, putting on her favorite show, giving her something hydrating, a good snack. You won't know what's going to work for her without asking her what she wants.

[mac6531]

Yeah, you really want her to feel protected and cared for.

In my experience, one of my favourite things to do is to run a nice bubblebath, and bathe her.

I've found it's a nice way to help the little relax, and feel nice and comfortable.

Tons of things can cause a submissive to drop, so it's kind of on you to be cognisant of that, and know what will help them bounce back. There's not a single answer that will work in every instance. I think about it this way: when my knees hurt from running, I don't need a shoulder massage. You have to tailor your care to what is hurting.

At the end of it all, don't be afraid to ask. It's hard to swallow your pride, but yeah, everyone is different, and their needs are going to be unique.

[Misund3rstood]

My little and I are also fairly new to the lifestyle. However, I have found that the thing you usually want to do immediately after a scene is just simply hold your little in your arms. It's extremely important for your little to know that you still love them and that you are there for them. Once your little has calmed down enough that you feel it's okay to leave their side for a brief moment, get them something to drink. Water, juice, I've read that orange juice works very well. Hydration is definitely important. Once you've completed those couple of steps then it really varies as to what you can do for aftercare. Something you might consider doing is discussing with your little what types of things she would like as aftercare. You can use some of the ideas that she gives you and maybe they will even spark some ideas of your own. Here are some links that might help as well. 

 

http://dominantlife.tumblr.com/post/49228367818/subdrop-and-aftercare

 

http://dominantlife.tumblr.com/post/67707056838/aftercare-101

 

By far the most important thing is the physical and mental health of your little. Once you've taken care of those things then the type of aftercare you provide is all up to you and your little. So explore, discuss and enjoy. Best of luck to you.

[mac6531]

That's solid advice.

+1 on the DominantLife links as well. His Library for Kinksters is the best resource for new Doms.

[CandyMilk]

Yes, completely agree, what I'm most looking for in that moment is confirmation that he cares about my mental and physical health. 

 

So for example, don't leave her to clean up her own cuts and bruises.  Help her apply antiseptic and bandages.  Bring her an ice pack for sore areas.  If she needs painkillers, bring her some water.  Restraints can leave welts or even burns: soothing lotion or aloe gel can help.

 

Same with psychological stuff: if it was a difficult scene, there were tears, etc. talk to her about it, ask her how she's feeling.  Basically don't let her feel like any lingering pain -- mental or physical -- is her problem.