Heartbroken//Don't know how to be little on my own

[Guest bunnybear11]

nevermind, ppl just assume things abt you and your relationship on here so i dont even know why I opened myself up in the first place

Edited November 27, 2018 by bunnybear11

[Tinka]

we dont love people because they give us something specific.

We love them for what they are.

 

If you want him just because you cant find someone else where you are to make you feel little, then i am sorry from your side also , this relationship should have ended long time ago.

There are people who are not happy in relationships but they are what psychology calls ''pleasers'' and will put what they want to the side just because you pout and cry.

The fact that you can keep such a person next to you , will make non of you happy.

Because he didnt want, initially and expressed himself, and you because you know he stayed because you pressured him.

 

You feel relieved now? I will ask you in a week from now again.

Unless in the mean time one of you has broken down and sent message to the other one.

 

This is not healthy for either of you.

And if you need a man to make you feel little, then i dont see a great future on this. 

If you wanna feel little, you will do it with or without a man.

So you can be free to say that you can be without one.

Because depending on someone just because of this, is not healthy.

He could be the worst person for you for all we know, but you would still stay in a dead relationship (or even an abusive one) just because someone would help you feel little. That is not nice for YOU. 

Anyway, take your time, close your chapters one by one and move on. 

My opinion is to focus on learning how to be little without needing anyone, and if someone will show up later, that would also be great.

I am sorry you are experiencing the break up, but from what i read, it was for good reason for both of you.

[Guest Aetherr]

i dont know what happened here but all ill say is if you bring your problems online you open yourself up to assumptions and criticism

i am surprised you have never encountered this before its not just something that happens here, it happens online and offline....

[baby_k]

Hey'yo'silly'bun ( <--- please don't get me banned because of that )

 

I can understand that it took lot of courage to open yourself up and you probably were hoping to get support and understanding to calm yourself a bit and also good advice. Perfectly natural and nothing wrong there. It is always good idea to not just dwell on your issues but try to do something to them, like asking advice from others.

 

But you heard only one OPINION that was based on what you wrote, not what the actual situation is with you. So, try to be forgiving people mistaking some stuff as they just can't know They answer based on their perception which is normally highly subjective and can often also reflect their own life situation.

 

 

Maybe it wasn't in the best package ( no offence Tinka ) but there was some valid info. You maybe need to dig in bit and try to ignore some stuff you may find upsetting to get help from it.

 

 

I don't remember your post almost at all, so I may get stuff sooooo wrong here but:

 

you seemed to have sort of driven yourself into a corner where you saw that you would be alone forever / never able to find person into/understanding ddlg if you broke up with your daddy. And that you could not be little without daddy. (<--- this SO is not true. We littles need no daddis >_> But they can be pretty nice to have around, I give you that )

 

I have been there myself. I even now sometimes can caught myself thinking "should I settle for this as probably the best offer I can get and I maybe could live with it". It is supersuper bad thing to think. You should not EVER settle for someone because you think you can't get anything better. You will make yourself miserable there, trust me. I've been there as said.

 

And were my ideas of "I can never find anyone else" true? Absolutely not. You will encounter people even it may seem impossible now. And hopefully also the person who ends up being your "rest of life".

 

What Tinka describes si something that is pretty common unfortunately. That sort of ON/OFF rel. It is horrible to be for both parties. What I htink you need to do is to try and see WHY you enable that sort of rel? I was once in rel like that and way too many times I allowed it to continue again. That time is one of the most horrible times of my life even back then I was thinking that "it will get better". Or actually: I was relieved when it ended but then found myself from "maybe this time...".

Don't be like me and be in that toxic loop. It will not change. You cannot change him.

 

 

Not sure what else to say as I can't read the original post

[Tinka]

excuse me, just because of my way of writing, you delete your post?

 

WHO AM I TO YOU? NOBODY. 

i could be a looser, i could be a troll, i could be worst than anything you could imagine.

Why on earth do you value my message so much that makes you delete your post? 

 

Maybe because you are not used to accept opinions that dont go well with yours?

Maybe because i might show a part of truth that you don`t wanna acknowledge?

I didn`t know that i must put a lollipop at the end of my every sentence. 

I didn`t swear at you, i didn`t disrespect you, i said my opinion. 

And i stick by it. 

If you wanted sweets instead of honest opinions, the candy shop is on the next corner.