Just Need To Rant...

[Guest Lazerspewpewpew]

Man... Come on. Let's say they weren't in any kind of relationship other than a professional one, would she not have a right to air a grievance about a boss?

 

But I don't think that's the point anyway, more about how her partner is dealing with stress etc. But ehh what do any of us know?

[Guest LittleDolly6]

As I've said, he did not get into any trouble. Yes, the workplace is cut throat. If I did something to deserve to be yelled at, I would shut up and accept it. However, this is an everyday occurrence. Every day, he has an attitude with me, belittles me, and treats me like his door mat. He dumps all his stress on me. Yet, with everyone else, he is fine. I have asked him before if I've done anything to deserve this. The answer was no, besides after I raised my voice to him. I have explained to him that I raised my voice because I am tired of being his door mat. All I did was have someone of higher authority have a chat with him, hoping the behavior would stop. So far, everything has been fine since they chatted. Yes, he gave me the job. My job is to be his assistant, not a doormat, but thank you very much for your opinion. c:

[Bambi95]

I'm glad your relationship has improved since dealing with this situation, and that you have the chance to grow passed it.

 

HOWEVER, I feel like you should have dealt with this one on one, without involving his father/boss. It may seem kind of stupid and perhaps I am the only one who feels this way... but it may come back and bite you in the ass for including his father. Sure you said he was thankful for the wake up call, but how long will it take for it to turn bitter in his head? How long before he resents the fact you tattled to his daddy because he hurt your feelings at work, and begins to take it out on you again? Again, this is all hypothetical and maybe I'm the only who thinks like this. Maybe he will never take it out on you. Maybe he won't be bitter after a time.

But I know I wouldn't be able to trust my partner to have a grown up conversation with me, and if I upset them, they don't go running to tell someone else. And if I WORKED with them, I certainly couldn't trust how they would perceive anything I said to them.

 

I dunno. Maybe I'm just being cynical because we don't have both sides of the story, and I never trust only one side. I just think your Daddy deserves some recognition as well in this situation. He may have a very different view on the situation to you. It frequently happens to me and my Daddy, that I perceive something wrong. But we talk it out and try to see the other person's point of view. I feel like this is the approach you should have taken as opposed to running straight to his boss.

 

And as for threatening to go back to the US IF the behaviour follows you home.. what kind of utter disregard is that for your marriage? Things get tough so you pack up and leave? Christ if everyone thought like that, no one would stay together. Idk, I think people are too soft and give up too easily these days.

[APTX]

This is just speculation or perhaps do people call this "reading between the lines"? I get the feeling that's what's going on here, how some people/group are filling in things themselves.

And yes, we're only hearing one side of the story and as it often-times is the case with almost every other topic when it comes to relationship issues, so why is this suddenly any different?

 

She has stated that she brought it up to him several times, so no idea why someone would think she went straight running to his boss without having attempted several times to resolve it.

 

Maybe I got the wrong idea here, but pretty sure always thought that a marriage, or let alone a relationship, doesn't equal to treating your partner however you wish nor be taking them for granted.

I don't think she has disregarded her marriage at all. But definitely can relate that it could indeed have complicated some things, but again read the sentence above.

This is more of a personal matter as people having different kind of tolerance levels and how they perceive things, however doesn't give anyone the right to disrespect the other's in such a way.

Edited November 29, 2018 by Levi

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

I wish you all the best.

[Guest]

As I've said, he did not get into any trouble. Yes, the workplace is cut throat. If I did something to deserve to be yelled at, I would shut up and accept it. However, this is an everyday occurrence. Every day, he has an attitude with me, belittles me, and treats me like his door mat. He dumps all his stress on me. Yet, with everyone else, he is fine. I have asked him before if I've done anything to deserve this. The answer was no, besides after I raised my voice to him. I have explained to him that I raised my voice because I am tired of being his door mat. All I did was have someone of higher authority have a chat with him, hoping the behavior would stop. So far, everything has been fine since they chatted. Yes, he gave me the job. My job is to be his assistant, not a doormat, but thank you very much for your opinion. c:

To the OP, you of course did not do anything wrong. As an employee you have the right to privately speak to a fellow staff member first and if that doesn't work you go to the boss. If your manager or boss is the one causing the issue and you have already spoken to them then an employee is suppose to seek a higher authority. If people don't want to be reprimanded then they should not treat others wrong, especially after they have already been made aware that their treatment wasn't professional nor necessary.

 

The OP has every right to be asked to be respected. Don't get all pissy with her because you would want someone to accept the treatment and brush it off, not everyone is going to do thay nor do they need to feel obligated and worry about another person getting in trouble for being mean spirited.

[Guest]

[BarbieDoll]

As I've said, he did not get into any trouble. Yes, the workplace is cut throat. If I did something to deserve to be yelled at, I would shut up and accept it. However, this is an everyday occurrence. Every day, he has an attitude with me, belittles me, and treats me like his door mat. He dumps all his stress on me. Yet, with everyone else, he is fine. I have asked him before if I've done anything to deserve this. The answer was no, besides after I raised my voice to him. I have explained to him that I raised my voice because I am tired of being his door mat. All I did was have someone of higher authority have a chat with him, hoping the behavior would stop. So far, everything has been fine since they chatted. Yes, he gave me the job. My job is to be his assistant, not a doormat, but thank you very much for your opinion. c:

I really admire how patient and even receptive you've been with all the criticism on this post, seriously, like I hope I someday attain it.

 

Everyone keeps whining about how you should of talked it out with him but you plainly said you had tried. Everyone keeps saying you shouldn't have gotten higher ups involved, but in other posts insist that you keep the two roles separate. Well guess what?! If you feel like your boss is being nasty with you, after maybe one attempt to talk to them in person, it is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL and JUSTIFIED to go to a higher up. He was the one who decided to work for his own father, so if you feel bad about him getting yelled at: don't. If there are any issues in the future with other subordinates he'll probably get another talk from his father.

 

And to everyone trying to freak her out about there being potential issues down the line because she got a higher up involved: there already was an issue. As I see it, it was a long term issue that would have only festered unless she went so far as to leave him or found another suitable job. Those obviously aren't super ideal in the situation, especially since she's clarified that it's an otherwise healthy relationship. Now it's his job to keep his work life and personal life separate, learn his lesson from the strike, and check his work baggage at the door when he comes home to his wife. If he values his money so much maybe he can start putting a little extra effort to keep his WIFE happy.

 

I wish the absolute best for you and your husband, LittleDolly.

Edited November 30, 2018 by BarbieDoll

[Guest LittleDolly6]

Once again, I'd like to thank everyone that has commented. Even if it was criticism, I would like to thank you for opening my eyes to other thoughts, opinions, and possible problems down the road. Everyone has been of much help, and I really appreciate it. c: