Just Need To Rant...

[Guest LittleDolly6]

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Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleDolly6

[MasterPhotog]

I'm sorry to hear your situation with your Daddy. Working for and getting paid by your Daddy is not an easy situation at best of times.
Therefore, in order to make things easier, it's best to keep each role as separate as possible. He can be your Daddy or Boss at different times but not both at the same time. 

However, considering that you're hurting by his behaviour, you need to ask him that you you need to discuss your situation so you can improve yourself. 

 

When you do discuss your situation make sure to keep your voice at normal level, be polite however make ALL your points that are making you uncomfortable and find a reasonable solution. If necessary write or email a list of your concerns. 

 

Best of luck. Feel free to let me know if I can be of further help. I really hope your situation improves soon. Best wishes. 

 

[Guest Lissy Lu]

It doesn't sound like a good idea to be working with your significant other. Especially if you guys are just getting upset with each other.

You can always apply to jobs while you're employed, you don't have to wait to be jobless to look for one.

 

And any employer, significant other or not, should not get irritated at you for asking question about your job. Reading that bothered me. Asking questions shows that you're interested in learning how to do your job and do it right.

 

Since you said you've talked about this with him before, I would suggest writing it down and giving it to him. It'll give him time to go over and really process what you're trying to tell him without any intense in-the-moment emotions getting in the way.

 

If you need help putting your thoughts into words, I can help with that too. I know I've asked other for help with that so I don't get salty or too upset in the writing (:

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

Get the fuck out of there. Now.

[Guest LittleDolly6]

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Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleDolly6

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Look at online remote positions that you can do now.

[Guest Aetherr]

keywords here, relationship should be put at the door, he is your boss if you cannot do that you may want to find another job.. don't expect him to treat you with preference at work he is there to make money and so are you, dynamic and relationship stays at home, as i said if you cannot take that you need to find a new job but i would ask him what you are doing wrong at work to illicit the response you get, would you get upset if it was another person in charge of you? if the answer is yes then it goes deeper than what your daddy is doing if not again, talk to him or quit

Edited November 26, 2018 by Aetherr

[Guest LittleDolly6]

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Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleDolly6

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Also, if you think I don't chew out my subordinates when they mess up or piss me off you're dead wrong. There are certain expectations that need to be met. That being said I would never work with a partner since I am so demanding both in work and at home.

[CherieBits]

I have never been in this situation before, so I can't really say too much on the subject other than it sounds like a REALLY bad idea to be working at the same job as your daddy, especially if its a difficult one that can cause a significant amount of stress, and thus the lashing out ;;

[BarbieDoll]

Thank you all for your responses. The reason I can't leave though is because I recently moved to a new country. I don't speak the language yet. I will try writing him a note about it. We try to keep the Boss role and Daddy role separate. Ddlg does not come into work. I am just upset that I am the only one that he treats this way. At work, I'm an employee just like everyone else. I should be treated the same way.

Everyone wants to tell you to just quit your job but I say (IF you are in a country/at a company that doesn't allow bosses to fire employees for personal romantic things), you should leave him first and then the job later. Yeah, he'll probably still treat you like shit at work, but it won't follow you home and your brain won't process his insults as being meaningful because you won't have as much cognitive dissonance. As long as you are with him despite him being a jerk, your mind is going to assume he's still a really important person whose opinion of you matters. If you think he could easily fire you for personal reasons then you need to study the language and distance yourself. He might just straighten up as he notices you slipping away on a personal level anyway.

 

Relationships like the one you're describing are doomed unless both parties want to change. Read about John Gottman's four horsemen if you want to be sure it's doomed before you flee. Do you have friends and other close relationships in this new country? Are you living with him? Did you move to be with him or did you meet him there? If you're alone there and he's your only support and you live with him... that makes me nervous. And it makes me feel like he might know exactly what he's doing. But I'm not sure on any of these details.

[Guest LittleDolly6]

Everyone wants to tell you to just quit your job but I say (IF you are in a country/at a company that doesn't allow bosses to fire employees for personal romantic things), you should leave him first and then the job later. Yeah, he'll probably still treat you like shit at work, but it won't follow you home and your brain won't process his insults as being meaningful because you won't have as much cognitive dissonance. As long as you are with him despite him being a jerk, your mind is going to assume he's still a really important person whose opinion of you matters. If you think he could easily fire you for personal reasons then you need to study the language and distance yourself. He might just straighten up as he notices you slipping away on a personal level anyway.

 

Relationships like the one you're describing are doomed unless both parties want to change. Read about John Gottman's four horsemen if you want to be sure it's doomed before you flee. Do you have friends and other close relationships in this new country? Are you living with him? Did you move to be with him or did you meet him there? If you're alone there and he's your only support and you live with him... that makes me nervous. And it makes me feel like he might know exactly what he's doing. But I'm not sure on any of these details.

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Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleDolly6

[baby_k]

In opinion this situation can not work. He is not able to treat you in proper way there, so you need to find an other job.

 

My experience with working with your SO is that you NEED to be PARTNERS. Doesn't matter who is who's boss and so on. You are there TOGETHER to make things work. Tittles do not matter. You have things you take care, he has his. Him being boss pretty much only means that he makes the final decisions, maybe gives work tasks and he also takes responsibility of those. His position does not mean that he can act like jerk or boss you around as that would not be appropriate in any work place towards anyone. It is not respecful behaviour or how anyone should act in work life. Now it just seems that he totally misuses his power position.

 

If I was you, I would stop being nice. I would tell him that if he continues, he will face charges of inapropriate behavior at work. Depending on the size of company, this would be matter of HR and/or his boss/occupational health care provider/shop steward to settle this OR in worst case work union or goverment's work and safety organisation ( whatever it is called there.... ).

I'm not well educated with Portugal's legal system but they anyhow are part of EU legistlation. If he was treating "normal" employee that way, sh*t storm would raise, specially because his actions would be seen as harrasment and bullying. There are laws against that.

I don't think he sees what he does wrong but you need to make him see it. You also may react bit more to his actions as he is in "work mode", not in daddy mode.

 

Would I actually make complain of him? No, I would find another job but I would try to shock him with that and hope he takes a better look of his actions.

 

But, you can try nicer way and ask him about the therapy. You could also try find out if that sort of service is provided to you by your occupational health care: you can ask their advice also just because this is affecting your ( mental ) health. People who face bullying normally at some point get so severe issues that they need to take sick leave, so health care professionals are trained with these issues ( or should be at least ).

 

 

Edit: hups, was Brazil, not Portugal XP I just read Portuguese -> assume it is Portugal... 8) Well, anyhow, that is civilized country also hopefully, so most likely same applies

Edited November 27, 2018 by baby_k

[Guest LittleDolly6]

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Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleDolly6

[Guest Lazerspewpewpew]

Punch him in his dick. 

[Guest LittleDolly6]

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Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleDolly6

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

So I have heard people suggest violence and also harming his employment. Wtf is wrong with you people? They are also married. You want to ruin the income and future of this person? This is a wonderful reminder of why I would never hire a female and will only bring them on as a contractor. If you do any of the aforementioned you will lose all trust that he had in you, and you can kiss your relationship goodbye.

 

It's easy.

 

1. Work it out together

2. Get another job

3. Get divorced and move back to your home country

4. Do number 1 while you're in process of number 2.

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

So I have heard people suggest violence and also harming his employment. Wtf is wrong with you people? They are also married. You want to ruin the income and future of this person? This is a wonderful reminder of why I would never hire a female and will only bring them on as a contractor. If you do any of the aforementioned you will lose all trust that he had in you, and you can kiss your relationship goodbye.

Ah! I finally get the MGTOW movement! Men who find "get even" tactics absolutely repulsive. Why do I feel like it isn't only women who use these strategies...

 

Not everyone places such a high priority on income. If I were in a situation where raising my voice counted as an excuse for my boss/husband to use me as a scapegoat, I would probably exact revenge at work, at home, with his family members, and in his wallet. As far as I'm concerned, he is the one who lost her trust as soon as he started treating her differently from the other employees.

 

For the record, my vote is still for the OP to get out. Get out of that job. Get out of that marriage. Get out of that country. Maybe take the mother in law with you. I would.

[I_AM_THE_SENATE]

Punch him in his dick. 

Imagine the reaction to this if the sexes were reversed...

[Bambi95]

To the people who are telling her to leave him or to punch him in the dick... get the fuck over yourselves. There's a reason partners don't work together; because it is toxic for both the working relationship and the romantic one. I love my Daddy and he dotes on me at home. But he's cutthroat in the workplace so I would never work with him. HOWEVER, IF I did end up working with him for whatever reason, I wouldn't expect him to treat me different to everyone else in the workplace.

 

People at work, especially those in higher positions, have a lot of stress on them and are going to be competitive and blunt to get the job done. If you can't handle this, then leave. If your boss yells at you - people take notice of the next part - WITHOUT reason, report him. But if you're not doing your job to the highest standard, and your boss gives you criticism that you perceive to be an attack, well that's you being too soft.

I'm not anti women in the workplace, but it is easy to see why SOME people might be reluctant to hire them based on the position they're applying for.

 

Women ARE more emotional. We tend to fight our battles on the basis of feelings. "You yelled at me and it hurt my feelings". Men tend to be more factual based in their arguments. "You yelled at, now here's why it's wrong...". Please take note, I am NOT saying women cannot do this too, but I am saying we usually bring emotions into the argument. And well it's just not a great fucking argument. At some point you need to just grow a fucking backbone and stand up for yourself.

 

To the OP, your Daddy treats you badly at work? Speak to him. At work. Do not do it at home. Keep the two relationships exclusive of each other. It's possible he has a lot of stress on him right now and unfortunately it's being taken out on you. You said your romantic relationship was fine before this started. Then get to the root of the problem and solve it. I still think you should find a different job when you can but until then, work it out.

[Guest Lazerspewpewpew]

Punch him in his pussy. It's a post made in jest and me and op talk often so maybe go calm down, pop a xanax or something.

[Guest LittleDolly6]

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Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleDolly6

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Congratulations on emasculating your husband and tarnishing his work record. I hope your husband learned a great lesson and makes wise choices moving forward!

[Guest LittleDolly6]

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Edited June 18, 2020 by LittleDolly6

[I_AM_THE_SENATE]

I've just skimmed over this here and I'm not too sure what he's done to deserve any of this.

The original post mentions an "attitude" and to make you feel a bad way. The work place can be cuthroat and no one else is responsible for how another feels. I've made people cry at work and boy have people got on my nerves. I've been yelled at and I've yelled. 

As far as I can tell this poor guy is getting punished for giving you a job. Heck, you're the one who mentioned raising their voice. 

Maybe I'm missing something as I've only glanced over this but at the moment I just feel sorry for the guy.