Help a new little to find her triggers

[DaddyisUrTeddy]

Hey everyone, my little is kind of new and she tells me she almost never gets to be in little space because she isn't sure how to get there. Now I'm pretty experienced and good at doing this IRL however we are LDR right now and that's a first for me. It's just a lot easier when you can not only do physcial activities together but also to be physical and touch each other so this is a new challenge for me as well. 

 

Any advice on how we can work together to figure out ways to get her into little space, especially considering it's LDR? 

[Guest Lithic]

Triggers are a difficult thing to navigate. Since you are experienced in these relationships in real time, try to think about this abstractly from a purely emotional/mental level of analysis. For example, the little to whom you are speaking and you are talking out a set of sexually or intimate related pysical interactions - i.e. you are describing something you would like her to imagine- and you ask her at many points how she would feel and listen to her breathing or how she is responding via text. Often, the action itself doesn't need to happen for her to have a emotive response. And, for the most part, it is actually quite healing and a healthy way to get her to explore it in safety. This works with limit exploration (I am not suggestion testing limits or pushing past them as much as finding them), sexually arousing simulation and head space activating.

[Koala]

It may seem obvious but I'm gonna say it anyway: focus on what you can control. I know that certain pet names are an instant plunge into littlespace for me, and maybe your little is the same way. When you know that something works, you can expand from there. For example, if your little likes to be called "princess", she would probably enjoy being treated like one and activities (even LD) with some element of pampering (dress up?) might be more effective. What Lithic said about translating to the abstract is also very useful, I think. The abstract in this example would be to be treasured, and if she's responsive to that particular feeling, then steer her to anything in that realm. 

[DaddyisUrTeddy]

Lithic, sorry but I'm finding your reply a bit difficult to understand. Are you suggesting that we can simply verbally imagine situations and activities which might put her into little space? 

 

Koala, if a particular pet name does it for her, she doesn't know what it is. I use quite a few of them in rotation all the time and she hasn't ever had that reaction. I believe it's going to take something more involved, at least right now, since she doesn't have much experience. 

 

Personally I believe that one limiting factor is that she has almost no "little gear" at all. Just a single stuffed bunny. No cute outfits or a paci or sippie cup or anything, so she doesn't have anything environmental to help her. 

[⭐️little.bee⭐️]

Hmm maybe try it with small basic stuff like telling her goodnight stories? My daddy does that almost every night on phone if we can't be together atm.

Or give her some simple everyday life rules she has to follow (and punishments if she doesn't)

honestly that sounds tough to me    I already get into little space when my caregiver just says a sentence with the word daddy, but that obviously wasn't like that from day one. Don't worry, everything takes time!