Need advice...Please...

[Guest Mesu ōkami]

Um... this is my second time typing this after deleting all I wrote because I am not sure if I should be doing this even... putting my problems in public... doesn’t seem like something I would do... but I need help... I mean me and my...well I guess you can say caregiver or who use to be my caregiver because I had left... I was the one who messed everything up you know... I mean I was so scared at how quickly I fell in love with him... like truly fell in love, not just some dumb crush or obsession but him just him... but now I have to gain his trust back and I truly want it back... but he says I’m all heart and emotions... that I need to be more logical and rational... how do you do that... when all your life you have used your heart to make choices even though it cause a lot of problems.... I don’t... I don’t think I could handle losing something like this so important me... I mean it’s not everyday you find yourself always thinking of one person that if they are okay.. or have they been eating... if they are thinking about you even your thinking about them at the same time... he says he is waiting for me to get out of my self destructive “mode” you can say I guess... but when I look at myself I see the wrong I have done to him , my selfishness, my attitude, my emotional rampage, my hiding... my running... I’m young you know... still learning right from wrong... 19 ... yes I know I’m “young” to know what love is but is that true... I mean a saying if a man makes your heart race as getting butterflies in your tummy, he isn’t the one but a man who makes you feel warm in your chest...makes you feel comfortable ... makes you feel truly wanted not just sexual but emotionally someone to see a future with... the person you go to when you feel overwhelmed with anything or sometimes it’s nothing... I just would like help truly ... I am not trying to make him seem like the bad guy because I know truly it’s me who is to blame for the problems... (if you are seeing this papa... I’m sorry I need advice) oh and I don’t plan on leaving or calling it quits even though hearing that from you makes me feel uneasy and makes my throat feel so tightly that it feels like if I try to talk no words would come out... thank you if you have made it this far I know I talk a lot.. I’m sorry but thank you truly ... I really want to change and be better and make him proud of me again...

[Smc2365]

You can message me

[Little-one-xo]

If you need to talk, I'm open to messages, I can understand talking about personal problems on the public forum can make one feel shy

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

I feel almost obligated to respond to this. That and it sounded like my ex for the majority of your post.

 

Dealing with someone logical when you're not is certainly a test of will and patience. There is nothing more frustrating than someone that doesn't do something logically because not only does it make no sense but it's largely unpredictable for those that only understand logic. For those people that understand and relate to emotional based decision making it's much easier to understand those that wear their heart on their sleeve so to speak.

 

A good example of you self destructing would be making poor choices because of a feeling versus you thinking out all of the ramifications of your choices and actions. A prime example is wanting a specific job which happens to be a low paying one. Well that will effect your future based on what you can have and do, that will also effect your partner and put more pressure on them to earn more if you expect a certain lifestyle.

 

I'll be very sincere when I say it will be easier for you to learn how to be logical vs your partner to learn your emotional thought process. Although he might be able to pick up on certain aspects of it.

 

One thing to work on together would be empathy for him and logic for you. I would also make sure you both understand each other's love language(s) to make sure the other is appreciated.

[Guest Mesu ōkami]

Thank you truly for your response, I understand what you are saying. It makes a bit more sense on what needs to happen. Giving me that little “push” to go forward.