Were you spanked as a child?

[LittleGoddess]

Were you spanked as a child?

Did you feel those punishments were just?

How has this shaped you into the adult/little that you are today?

[littleone0201]

I was spanked, only a few times that I can remember. But I don't think that I can specifically attribute that to me being a little. Or liking spankings. Lol

 

My little side does however come from my extremely shitty and unfulfilling childhood, and I can now fill the void with the all the cute toys and sweets I never got to indulge in. 

[MrPaulDavies]

I know being spanked and corporal punishment in school has given me as an older Daddy a real appreciation of how to use spanking and discipline with a little girl

[lilartist]

Hair pulled by mother, maybe a pinching of my arm or something. Not spanked though.

[FloofBall]

Yes. But it was more or the less a little tap on the butt rather than an actual smacking. I always ended up crying because it just kind of spooked me, which was the whole point of it. Not to hurt me but to warn me. They stopped doing it when I got 10.

[Argoth66]

I was spanked. I was made to stand in the corner, if my sister and i fought we were both made to kneel hugging eachother for 15 min -1 hour. I was raised by older parents so we even had to go and pick our own switch sometimes. Sometimes spanked with whatever was handy whither it a pot or a rollingpin.

[Guest FairgroundAlice89]

Yes. And hit, slapped, punched, scalded, shouted at, stripped and humiliated.

[hurtnolivingthing]

Yes. And hit, slapped, punched, scalded, shouted at, stripped and humiliated.

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. Don't know what's the matter with some parents.

 

Be well now and stay safe always Alice oxo

[Angel24]

I was as a child and I hated it and vow to never do it to my own kids, if I ever have any. I actually recently had a conversation about it with my father recently on how he spanked my sisters and I when we did something that he deemed bad and how I was afraid of him for a long time. We have a much better relationship now, but there was a time that if I puked in my bed I'd rather slept in it than face waking up my parents in case they got mad at me....and that actually did happen. It upsets them now that I felt like that but it was dad's quick to punish way of thinking that made me like that, hence why I'll never ever spank my children and use fear as a punishment and make them afraid of me. My sister thinks I'm crazy for not wanting to spank my kids but I've lived enough and learned enough to make my own decisions. I still have memories of my dad spanking my sister and me screaming at him not to touch her because it just made me so mad; I could never understand how a parent could see total fear in their child's eyes and still grab them forcefully by the arm and spank them. Sorry other parents out there that do it, but it's just not for me and frankly is a horrible way to punish a child.

[cosmicbalance8cmk]

No for me it was quite the opposite, I wasn't disciplined right as a child and my dad left during fights of emotional or physical abuse I would have to endure. In a way this gives me structure I never had, love, compassion I need to feel to heal properly. My daddy was spanked as a kid so much that pain doesn't affect him and he's really strong, he enjoys discipling me when I've been a bad girl or bratty. I revolt for attention and to get his sadist side to come out and play. It's more of a adrenaline correlation - why I like spankings and belt whippings; it can get you in a high state from all the endorphins rushing. It's therapeutic and healthy when managed properly. 

[⭐️little.bee⭐️]

Spankings sounds soft to me lol, I experienced lots of worser "punishments" which are unforgivable and make me angry if I just think of it. The ugly type of things that almost made custody taken away from my parents. Thinking about it makes me notice that I can't remember that much anymore, I guess that trauma blacked the memories out somehow. 

And that shaped me into a little that wants everything she never had as a child   I anyways can be very bratty but don't mind spankings as a punishment.

[Polonius1986]

spankings were a constant. I used to wear dropseat pajamas

[Nathalie]

My parents spanked me rarely, and for the most part it was when I did something that could have harmed me. I don't spank my own child, however.

 

Where I grew up, however, it was normal for teachers and parents to whip and paddle kids, so I saw this happen quite a few times to my classmates and friends, including modifications to make the pain worse (like drilling holes in the wooden paddle so it hit harder). To this day I think it is really fucked up to do those things to a child (or a teenager for that matter), HOWEVER, it did give me quite an appreciation for the mental and emotional side of controlled physical violence in my own bedroom play (both giving and receiving). 

 

xo

[RainbowPigtails]

One solid whack to the butt with a wooden cutting board (if they didn't mess up the first swing  ). I hated it and I don't think it helped teach me to behave, only to avoid getting caught. I'm honestly going through a phase where I don't know if my parents were great or not. I still love them, but I'll never spank my kids. Far more effective (I think) is taking away electronics or restricting computer use.
I'm new to the ddlg dynamic, but I don't think spanking specifically had an effect on me to bring me here. Probably wanting to grow up too fast as a kid to the point where I threw away all my toys and having a scary and distant dad.

(plus I never got rewarded or thanked for doing chores. I think that has affected me a lot more to the point where I have a reward chart that I made for myself because I avoid chores in my adult life)

Edited December 4, 2018 by RainbowPigtails

[Nathalie]

 

(plus I never got rewarded or thanked for doing chores. I think that has affected me a lot more to the point where I have a reward chart that I made for myself because I avoid chores in my adult life)

 

I love the idea of a reward chart for myself! I am the WORST at doing chores, even though doing them makes my life so much more manageable. Can I ask how your reward yourself?

[prince eefy]

nope, was never spanked. only once or twice iirc. mostly bc i was a good child growing up and listened to them.

[RainbowPigtails]

I love the idea of a reward chart for myself! I am the WORST at doing chores, even though doing them makes my life so much more manageable. Can I ask how your reward yourself?

I put mine here. It's the one with too much text:

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/27958-rewards-and-punishmentsfunishments-ideas-charts-etc/page-7

[Guest Avi]

things were mostly thrown at me. mostly cups, remotes.. stuff like that. id get my hair pulled, dragged by the hair and kicked and stuff but i dont recall really getting hit hard in the face.

 

 

as a child i was a massive pacifist and hated confrontation so much, everytime id try and open my mouth to defend myself,id start to cry, which only fueled the fire that was my parents anger which lead to more verbal abuse and degradation.

 

even in my teens all the way until i was 17 even though i was almost 6ft and broadshouldered, i took it all because i couldnt hold back the tears. they werent tears of fear though. more just frustration and anger. now that im 19 ive grown so much as a person and can easily stand up for myself and do not tolerate any type of abuse or intimidation. im a rational person and it makes it very difficult for my parents to stay mad over petty shit because i make them see how dumb theyre acting.

[Tinka]

ehm. a lot of physical abuse by my father, since i was 2 DAYS old newborn until 16 , then threats of death and mental abuse until 26 i think. 

 

He would shake me hard until my breath would stop and then throw me at the baby crib because i was crying due to newborn stomach ache.

He would kick me at my spine because i was sitting silently at the stairs waiting for my mom who was away from me for 15 days.

He would punch me in the head because i said that a brand of chips had the ''salt and vinegar'' type of chips on a small package too.

He would threw me (with the chair) on the floor and break the table because my eraser was not placed respectfully next to my hand but a few cm away.

He would hit repeatedly my head on the wall because i forgot my jacket at home and went to school without it. 

He would do the same things to my newborn sister when i was 13 years old so i would have to step up and make him hit me, and not the baby. 

But no, there were no spanks  

[Guest Lilrije]

I was spanked hard by parents and teachers and hated it plus them but also felt bad if I wasn't spanked for doing wrong .Now am grown and liked to tell my vanilla ex to spank me so.. yeah that's me am yet to figure that mess out

[Guest ittybee]

I got smacked (hands, wooden spoon, wet towels), ears pulled, head forced into water. I don't think it was ever just, but that's probably coz I was the one being punished not doing the punishing. Spanking's a hard limit for me now coz of it- I can't stop the panic enough to even be slightly ok with. I can barely do hugs from behind, but I am getting better at letting people do that

[Guest Looby-Lou]

It made me sad to read what some of you experienced as children. I'm lucky that my punishments were never severe mentally or physically.

 

I did get smacked - usually mum or dad smacking me with their hand on the palm of my hand, or a swipe at my bottom. Just a few smacks each time, and I was always told why. 

At first I hated it and then I became indifferent. It had no positive effect on me at all. It seemed pointless and just annoyed me. (Like writing lines at school, it just struck me as a total waste of time and not a useful punishment.)

 

As a result, I tend to associate punishment with the person giving the punishment and NOT with the behaviour it's intended to stop. So it's counter-productive. Plus I'm a pleaser so someone's disappointment is a huge punishment in itself.

I respond better to explanation, and being denied a future treat e.g. chocolate, a trip somewhere, whatever's appropriate. 

 

In my limited experience with DDlg, I've been given some bare hand spanking, and never associated it in any way with my childhood. It's an adult D/s and sexual thing for me. What I experienced was surprisingly very enjoyable! It was fairly tame, so I don't really know what I might turn out to like.

 

Looby 

[Guest DemureBelle]

I was never spanked as a child. But I went through some traumatic experiences of my own during my childhood, and it made me realise that there are certain types of relationships I will never allow myself to be in. I cannot tolerate loud voices or someone administrating a punishment without talking me through it and helping me understand exactly why I'm being punished. 

[Frog]

I was physically abused as a kid, so not spanked in the sense you mean. It has shaped how I handle any sort of physical contact. I read up on spanking way too much, and I never touch a lover when I have any sort of anger or massive frustration. My girlfriends in the past would have to initiate any physical contact when I'm angry, but sex was never an option during that time.

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

I was raised by strict Irish Catholic old world grandparents... I got spanked...a lot. Honestly... all it really taught me was to respond to undesirable situations with violence. If I hit my problems they go away... they were from a different time and a different culture but I believe they meant well. I am a mother myself...and have never raised a hand to my children.