Relationship with your parents

[Alexdander]

Hi!

I'm curious about something -but I understand if you dont wanna talk about it.

I think sometimes we get attracted with the idea of being a caregiver because we wanna give to somebody the love we didnt had as children, and in the same way we get attracted to the idea of being a little because we wanna feel this love, care and protection that we didnt had as children.

Im not saying that I think it's an universal truth, but I believe it happens in lots of cases.

What are your thoughts about that? I believe it is true for me -for both my daddy and little parts- but that I also hae this tendency to be a daddy dom in my personality. I have been one since I was born like for my personal characteristics (and I behave in some ways like one when I'm in little space)

[junebug0325]

I can definitely say that my littleness comes from not having a good childhood. Growing up, I encountered a lot of abuse and tragic events that really made me grow up fast and not have a good/long childhood. 

 

I'm attracted to someone that is able to take care of me, protect me, and love me the way that others couldn't when I was growing up. I also think that feeling little puts my mind at ease, because I give my responsibilities up to my Daddy and it makes me feel pure and innocent, things I couldn't feel when I was a child.

 

I'm not saying this is the case for everyone, but it's something that I've recognized for my personal situation.

 

Thanks for reading! 

[SamL]

I think sometimes we get attracted with the idea of being a caregiver because we wanna give to somebody the love we didnt had as children, and in the same way we get attracted to the idea of being a little because we wanna feel this love, care and protection that we didnt had as children.

Im not saying that I think it's an universal truth, but I believe it happens in lots of cases.

What are your thoughts about that? I believe it is true for me -for both my daddy and little parts- but that I also hae this tendency to be a daddy dom in my personality. I have been one since I was born like for my personal characteristics (and I behave in some ways like one when I'm in little space)

 

Absolutely.  I've got DID as a result of my childhood (re: mom)  Our system consists of five of us.  Our nickname here is actually an acronym of all our names.  In all DID systems, there is at least one protector - to substitute for the one we didn't have when we were growing up.  For our system, that's me, Angel.  I take care of the others which include two littles and a middle...a two and a half year old boy, a six year old girl, and a 13-14 year old mini-slider female.  We have an inside home and I've pretty much made our home as little friendly as I can...trying to take care of them and give them a safe, happy, child-centered home that they didn't have growing up.  I just posted pictures of our home in my gallery and the kids would be over-joyed if someone would check them out.  I'm going to try and upload Sonseearae's birthday party pics after I post this.  Okay, she's getting too excited for me to concentrate...time to post pics.

[Nymph]

Hmm I have often thought my littleness comes from a mix of culture (super old fashioned mexican family) and a bit of peter pan syndrome since my childhood was overall pretty darn great so I refuse to let go lol. So it doesn't apply that much to me :/

 

I do feel my childhood was cut short a bit, I was an early bloomer (biologically) so maybe that is why I kind of got stuck in tween mentality? my body developed so fast I didn't have time to really process it if that makes sense.

[Guest]

I don't necessarily think my being little is because of a lost childhood. My tendency to go in and out of little space certainly is the result of my childhood. My mom gave me a lot of responsibility/chores starting from an early age. So there was play time in the middle of chores. Children the age of 5 should not be sweeping and washing dishes, etc. Annnny way.

 

I think I simply hid the fact that I didn't grow up. It was expected of me to be a young lady and not so 'boyish'. I hated the whole process of puberty and 'becoming a woman'and all the inconvenient rules that went with it. In fact I complained bitterly about it, lol. I ended up complying, but I wanted to stay myself and liked the person I was then. I suppose that is why I'm a little. And some other stuff, but it isn't for the forum.

[⭐️little.bee⭐️]

I'm definitely into ddlg because of my lost and traumatic childhood.

Never really had a fatherfigure in my life. I had to beg for months every time I wished for a new toy, I don't blame my mother for that because she was young and had bills to pay but thats a big part I missed out so now I still love 90's and early 2000 toys. 

 

Sadly my mom was messed up enough to think the only way to handle me as a child was to beat and scare the shit out of me with her mad outbursts. Thats why I can't handle all the very dominant part in ddlg because it kind of triggers me so I believe I'm more of a age regressor since its all not that kinky in my mind.

[PrincessKarly]

Yeah...I definitely think that at least one of the reasons why I'm into DDLG is because of extremely abusive parenting for most of my childhood, and the lack of anybody who truly cared about me or took care of me. That's probably one of the reasons why I'm attracted to someone who's willing to take care of me, love me, and make me feel like I'm worth something. I like having the protection of someone wanting to make sure I'm okay, helping me when I'm scared, or simply playing with me and cuddling with me when I'm in my little space. 

 

I really like being a little.

[BeMyPrincess]

I'm definitely into ddlg because of my lost and traumatic childhood.

Never really had a fatherfigure in my life. I had to beg for months every time I wished for a new toy, I don't blame my mother for that because she was young and had bills to pay but thats a big part I missed out so now I still love 90's and early 2000 toys. 

 

Sadly my mom was messed up enough to think the only way to handle me as a child was to beat and scare the shit out of me with her mad outbursts. Thats why I can't handle all the very dominant part in ddlg because it kind of triggers me so I believe I'm more of a age regressor since its all not that kinky in my mind.

 

That is such an interesting vantage point. If part of being a little is to revert to a younger age, for infinite reasons, but mostly of protection, then it can be true that a little would regress as much emotionally, as physically. I hope I'm making sense. Your thought was appreciated.

[Kyu]

removed

Edited November 3, 2018 by Kyu

[LittleBunnyCici]

So, I have a lot of conflicted feelings about this.

 

On the one hand, I do think that the way I grew up did have a lot to do with me becoming a little later on in life.  I grew up one of literally only three black people in my town - that's not an exaggeration.  It was a rural farming town in the American Midwest, so racial sensitivity wasn't really a thing.  I learned early on that I always had to be on hyper vigilant alert and I think that I ended up not really having a real childhood because of it.  I was already tussling with racist adults when I was, like, 12, so I had to be very self-sufficient very early on.

 

My parents tried the best they could to raise me in that kind of environment, but being white themselves, there were a lot of issues I faced that they just couldn't relate to.  On top of that, I inherited my mother's defiant and argumentative streak.  As I grew up and she and I started to see eye-to-eye less and less on a lot of things that are important to me, my relationship with her became deeply troubled.  Things became so strained that I've been calling her by her name since I was in my early teens.  It was about that time that I met an older woman who I grew quite close to, and I eventually started to think of her as my mother.  She was always there to offer me advice when I needed it or to set my head straight when I was being stupid, she protected me from people who would try to take advantage of a young teen on the internet in the early 2000's, and she's been family to me ever since.

 

All that said, I guess I wouldn't necessarily say that my relationship with my parents is the reason I'm a little - but it certainly was a factor.  I've actually thought about that question a lot - why am I into this sort of thing - over the past month or so, and I think it's a combination of my early experiences and being trans.  Because I didn't understand what I was struggling with or come out as a trans woman until much later in life (a couple of months ago, now), I didn't understand what drove me to Daddies and beg them to treat me like a little girl instead of as a little boy.  Now I think that it's because I feel cheated out of the real childhood that I should have had.  Being a little girl lets me reclaim that part of my life on my own terms.  I don't really blame my parents for not raising me as a girl - I didn't have any idea what it meant to be trans then, or that it was even a thing, so how could I have communicated that to them, right?  It doesn't stop me from occasionally being resentful, I guess, but it's not the sole reason I'm drawn to this role.

[Arenvos]

I want a Daddy, cos I never knew mine, nor want to know him, my mother raised me as well as she could, but I feel some things can only be a fathers wheelhouse, also. I may be 23 physically but if I have to be honest, I feel like I am more like 14 when big, and regress to a younger state when pushed or tired, or sometimes at random, to not give out too much personal stuff, I went through a lot of bad things kids normally shouldn't go through, and maybe it stunted me or something.

 

In short, I think its more like, I want the missing element, the missing piece to be placed, so I don't feel overwhelmed and give up.

[Guest bunnybear11]

Honestly I had a great childhood w amazing parents, and while I see that many people are in this dynamic because of traumatic childhoods I just thought I'd add (like Danan said) that this isn't always the case.

 

This is a personality trait, one I've always had, to feel younger than I actually am, many people (even people who aren't in the ddlg dynamic) feel this way, we just all express it differently. My brother for example has traits like these too, but doesn't even know what ddlg is, and I be if he knew he would want to have nothing to do with it.

 

It just all comes down to how we choose to express who we are inside. And this is a really great space to do it

[prince eefy]

sorta? i did think at first i was into this bc of just for fun but then i was looking back and realized it probably does stem from trauma and me not having the best childhood. its not as bad as others but, my parents were in a domestic violence situation, my mom specifically. i didnt exactly see very good things and heard yelling a lot of the time growing up up until i was about.. i want to say, 15 or 16 maybe? i also got bullied a lot growing up so that might contribute to it. i'm not as close to my dad anymore after learning how he really was at the age of 13 but.. i still have some sort of a relationship with him, sorta. we talk regularly but i dont consider myself super close to him.

 

i think since i found myself somewhat deprived of a childhood i found myself wanting to go back to it. i want to be protected and loved and cared for. i want to be praised and.. be treated like a tiny baby.

Edited November 8, 2018 by littleblueskyee

[Guest infinitecases]

I have problems with my parents, and I know for me personally, the love I get from my Daddy is reminiscent of what I have always wanted to be shown. I was always striving for my parent's approval but every goal/milestone was only celebrated momentarily or not celebrated at all which is most probably the reason why I'm so happy when Daddy praises me or reminds me he loves. I know my parents love me, but it was never shown through affection or hugs or any kind of intimacy or praise, it was shown through putting a roof over my head, and working hard so I could have a better life. In a sense, this is amazing and I'm so happy I got to have this, but I never got the love that I needed as a child, even though, logically speaking, what my parents did for me was extremely important and I wouldn't be where I am today without it...

 

My parents have a very 'tough love' approach to how I was raised.. if I got bullied at school, they'd tell me it's my fault for being weak instead of reassuring me or making me feel better, they'd force me into situations I was uncomfortable in to make me more confident, and they are also very blunt when it comes to negative comments about me. I think this approach might have worked on someone else, but not on me, and I guess I was just unlucky in the sense that my personality doesn't sit too well with those kinds of comments. My Daddy is a mix of both... caring but stern, which I think is good to both keep me in check but also not let me get too upset over things. 

 

But I still remember when my parents cook me my favourite foods, they buy me things they think will make me healthier or live more comfortably, they hung up my paintings when I was little for everyone to see... I think sometimes the kind of love we need isn't always the kind of love we're shown.

[Guest lil_devil216]

I had an abusive father growing up, but I think that even if I didnt have that growing up I would still be into dd/lg but maybe not so heavily as I am now

[Guest DaddyDN]

Maybe, I agree that submissives with bad experiences with their parents may be trying to relive a more positive childhood with ddlg. I don't know about the caregiver part though. I'm very close with my parents, normal sweet parents. I don't really have any issues with them so I dont know if my daddy role was influenced by early childhood.

 

It may have been a positive experience, rather than negative. My childhood was idyllic. 

Hi!
I'm curious about something -but I understand if you dont wanna talk about it.
I think sometimes we get attracted with the idea of being a caregiver because we wanna give to somebody the love we didnt had as children, and in the same way we get attracted to the idea of being a little because we wanna feel this love, care and protection that we didnt had as children.
Im not saying that I think it's an universal truth, but I believe it happens in lots of cases.
What are your thoughts about that? I believe it is true for me -for both my daddy and little parts- but that I also hae this tendency to be a daddy dom in my personality. I have been one since I was born like for my personal characteristics (and I behave in some ways like one when I'm in little space)

[Guest TheQuiet1]

My childhood completely ended when I was really young. I shut down so hard that I literally did nothing but hide in my room or stand still and stare at the floor. I couldn't be a kid, I was too afraid of everything.

 

I do think that had a lot of influence on my interest in DD/lg, I've age regressed since about a year after I became too afraid, of life I guess. I would every so often revert back into crawling and baby talk (when I did talk) and poking holes in the top of water bottles to make them bottle/sippycup-like, and in that state I would feel safe and happy and fulfilled.

 

But I also feel like being "little" is just a part of who I am, as a person. And while I don't know what I would be like today had my childhood been "ideal", I can't see myself not having some level of "little" characteristics.

[cosmicbalance8cmk]

I'm a little and I've been through emotional, physical, and sexual abuse; it has definitely helped having a daddy to look out for me- one I choose- that will love me so much. My daddy is 11 1/2 yrs older than me I'm 20 & he's 31. He hasn't had any kids and in a way I'm his little to play with and love for now until we decide to have children and love them unconditionally. 

[StrawberryDoll]

I never meet my father and my mother only give me money and always she said she love me, but she mistreats me psychologically and when I was younger physically too.

[Firematrix]

My relationship with my mom/dad was actually really good. Family outside of them was fairly balanced. To my knowledge I also grew up believing I was an only child til about 5/6 years ago.

 

When I first started as a Dom, it was more of a control thing since around that time I had bad OCD. It never got bad because along with that OCD it didn't feel right to me to make someone my personal slave. Tried it once and it was super uncomfortable for both of us. As I progressed it slowly turned more into a protector like mentality outside of the bedroom. I always protected and cared for the one I was with no matter how physically or mentally drained I was. There were multiple nights I had where I drained myself so much to bring my SO, at the time, out of whatever slump they were in and put to bed peacefully… that I would just collapse and find myself asleep on the floor in a room or hallway (like I was on my way to finish something else I had previously started). Almost none of them ever caught on to this, but the 2 that did just seemed to abuse it in a way so that they never had to do anything.

 

I've recently wanted to switch to the DD role lifestyle because of this. The little that I know as a close friend, showed me that when they go into their little state (sorry if I use wrong terminology since I'm still fairly new to this), they're happiness and enjoyment is actually infectious and easy for me to feed into. So in a way it caters to my protector mentality and also gives me the boost that I need to not crumble afterwards.

 

Never really understood why I do the whole protector thing since I really wasn't lacking any emotionally connection to my parents or felt unsafe in my childhood. My OCD used to basically control my life in the beginning so I understand where the Dom mentality came from right out the gate.

[Guest JasmineStarshine]

My parents and I had an alright relationship growing up until I was about 12 or 13 when I started to realize they weren't the greatest people. When I came out to them at 14, that's when things really fell apart and I got out of the house as fast as I could. They took the "send the kid to conversion therapy" approach and told me that if I wanted to get beat up less at school I should "act less gay." No really.

 

To this day, they're trying to gaslight me and convince me that none of that ever happened, even though I am the one that took all of it. I laugh when I remember how they think they still have a working relationship with me and ask why I don't visit on the holidays.

 

Having bigs and caretakers in my life for the past three years that refer to me correctly and address me properly has been such a blessing. Because all of the bad things happened to me at a transitional age, it caused a lot of damage, but being able to be little and cared for has really helped my healing process. 

[Lil Amulet]

i do agree with this... my father was drunk and abusive and very neglectful.. he kicked me out on my grade 6 graduation by calling child protective services because his wife put me up against the fridge by my throat. i was 12. i was abandon...then again at 14 because i started exploring my sexuality. my godmother kicked me out when i was away at camp.. i didnt have a home to come back to... no one wanted me. i lived on my own since then. a long line up of abusive relationships, which i didnt care about the abuse as i was trained to love the pain. hence my submissive side.. then at 22 (now) i met my daddy. i dont feel like i deserve the love he does give me, i refuse to ask for things. i feel guilty that im not working at the moment due to a high risk pregnancy. i love the protection he provides, the cuddles and the way he lets me fall asleep on him. the way he grabs me and starts dancing with me... i just have my walls up so much because well... i have this tendency to think hes going to leave me too. i know it annoys him. he told me i annoy him when i apologize for little things. and i hate that word used on me. i know i strive to be everything he wants, even if it means losing myself, because I never want to lose him.

 

so yes i do think that a lot of this is because of shitty childhoods. absolutely, its a way to find closure for it .

Edited January 4, 2019 by Lil Amulet

[boldonas]

Everyone becomes a parent for their reasons. Fortunately, the reason is not always the desire to make up for their childhood complexes or realize their dreams. A valid reason may be a real desire to give the future a new lEveryone becomes a parent for their reasons. Fortunately, the reason is not always the desire to make up for their childhood complexes or realize their dreams. A valid reason may be a real desire to give the future a new life or to realize yourself as a parent.  That's why it's so difficult to be a complicated parent who will always understand his child. If you always want to find a common language with your child, start asking away at your kids. It is important to establish contact through dialogue to find out all the latest news from his life. In this way, you can help him and try to convey your own experience.ife or to realize yourself as a parent.

Edited July 10, 2022 by boldonas

[Little Becca]

I am very fortunate to never have experienced any severe abuse. My parents were both distant, and I have accepted that my mother was emotionally abusive (although I have a very good relationship with both of my parents now, and my mother was dealing with untreated depression and her own childhood issues). 

I think there could certainly be truth in what you have said. I am the oldest of 5 children and the only girl, so I was expected to care for my brothers and the house routinely. I didn’t mind that role; I have always enjoyed domestic things and children, although I am sure it did take away from my own childhood to an extent. In my career, I am a caretaker now, and I am a caretaker at heart. I love to care for others but I also need care myself.

I really don’t l know why I am little; I just remember noticing something different at around 9 or 10, when I saw my friends moving onto more “mature” interests while I still had my little interests and mindset, and this only became glaringly more obvious as I grew. I think it’s maybe just how I am!!!  And I have learned to love and accept it. ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

Edited July 5, 2022 by LittleLavenderGirl

[Puppybaby2005]

On 10/29/2018 at 8:19 PM, junebug0325 said:

I can definitely say that my littleness comes from not having a good childhood. Growing up, I encountered a lot of abuse and tragic events that really made me grow up fast and not have a good/long childhood. 

 

I'm attracted to someone that is able to take care of me, protect me, and love me the way that others couldn't when I was growing up. I also think that feeling little puts my mind at ease, because I give my responsibilities up to my Daddy and it makes me feel pure and innocent, things I couldn't feel when I was a child.

 

I'm not saying this is the case for everyone, but it's something that I've recognized for my personal situation.

 

Thanks for reading! 

I like your unicorn she is cute I have to get me new ones. But I undersd i didn't have a good childhood either . That is why I am a little but people make fun of me for big a pluses size and also being a little .. so you say you didn't have a good childhood well my mom treated me like I was the worse thing that was ever born and still makes me feel that way. My dad left me when I was born and trued to hang me over the balcony by my feet and drop me. I am 35 yes old and my little age i am 2 yrs old.