Stressed Out Littles . . . . Are you out there? . . . Or is it just me?

[Sweet Lil Buttercup]

***I'm going to preface this by saying this is a bit much. What started out as questions turned into a rant before becoming questions again. It's all over the place. Just wanted to give you a heads up.***

 

Hey there! So I just want to connect with others out there who are stressing and struggling with adult life and its many responsibilities. What do you do to destress? How do you cope? What is balance, and how do you find it? . . . I'm fairly certain peace of mind is playing hide-and-seek with me right now; and, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not as good of a seeker as I once believed myself to be. 

 

Like I have Moana playing in the background and just did some coloring and am now on here, but I honestly feel worse than better, which doesn't seem fair if I do say so myself. However, this is a problem of my own making. I'm totally cognizant of the fact that I've avoided my work all day long because I dread doing it. I know once I start, I'm not gonna wanna stop until it's done, and being done is HOURS from now. And it's already 10 at night. And I have a full day of work tomorrow, too . . . I just want to feel less icky, but I don't know where to start. *whimper* Help, please.

 

Wait, I have a better, more important question. Does anyone out there deal with self-sabatoge? If so, what do you do to combat it? . . . I just want a break that doesn't make me feel horrible, you know? 

[junebug0325]

If procrastination counts as self-sabatoge, I guess I self-sabatoge myself. I let work I have pile up until it's too much and then I don't want to do it. I've been trying to get better at not procrastinating, and I've been trying to space out my time for different projects that I have due.

 

So far, it's been helping but it doesn't help the stress I keep feeling when doing these assignments. 

[Sweet Lil Buttercup]

I have found that I'm also a perfectionist, so procrastinating is my unhealthy way of coping. I will try your strategy next chance I get!

 

Thanks for your response. It's much appreciated.

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

This question is similar to what is the meaning of life!

 

It sounds like there are some components of anxiety thrown in here. If so, reach out to a pro to deal with that first and foremost.

 

 

I can relate completely, usually I will just shutdown and ignore it all. The best way to combat that is with lists and treating every checkmark as a win. Routines will help as well. For example making your bed in the morning. It means nothing but at least you accomplished something at the very beginning of the day. Also you need to be passionate about what you're doing. If not find a reason to believe in it. On the other hand, if you don't want to be doing that task, eliminate it from your life. For example I just came back to my boat after 6 months. I didn't want to clean it so I paid someone to do it. Could I have done it myself? Yes. But I didn't want to so I got it done by other means.

[Guest Andromeda]

Do you journal? It seems very basic, but I find that getting all the extra unhelpful thoughts out on paper puts me in a better space. Journaling is a way to organize your brain, which helps organize your life! When you reflect on each day you can start recognizing patterns.

 

And regardless of how busy you are, stick to a sleep schedule. 30 minutes or an hour to wind down and then closing your eyes at the same time every night. You'll train your body to know when it's time to shut down for the day.

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

What do you do to destress? How do you cope? What is balance, and how do you find it?

 

Does anyone out there deal with self-sabatoge? If so, what do you do to combat it? . . . I just want a break that doesn't make me feel horrible, you know? 

 

Girl, you are speaking the language of my people.  I definitely hit a point where I say, "Fuck it, this is too much."  It took some financial penalties in my early twenties for me to get my shit together.  Didn't wanna go to the dentist for several years because it was scary; when I finally went back had to get several crowns.  Didn't wanna pay my car registration because who knows; got three tickets for expired registration before I decided enough.  Failed seven classes in my first three semesters of college and got kicked out of the school; took me ten years to work up the courage to try again.  I'll share what works for me now with the understanding that sometimes you just have to live through the consequences.

 

What do you do to destress?  Make self-care a priority.  Everyday, I do something to take care of myself. 

 

How do you cope?  Prevention.  I use a planner to keep me organized.  Deadlines, projects, assignments, activities, to-do lists.  It works best if I carry it with me and look at it at least once a day.  That is harder to manage during the school semester.

 

What is balance, and how do you find it?  I like to think balance is an absence of that panicky feeling.  If I can avoid saying "Fuck it," then I'm doing an okay job.  Personally, I find it by balancing bad habits with good ones.  This past summer I went through a beauty guru phase on YouTube, I was spending waaaaaay too many hours watching makeup tutorials.  I decided to make a rule for myself that I could watch as much YouTube as I wanted as long as it happened while I was at the gym.  That feels pretty balanced to me.

 

Does anyone out there deal with self-sabotage?  All the damn time.  For example, right now I should be reading a textbook.  Instead I am here on this forum, answering your questions.  I know what I *should* be doing, and yet here I am.

 

If so, what do you do to combat it?  I try to give myself as much time as possible.  That way, I don't feel rushed or pressured to do one certain thing.  I should have started reading that book earlier, that way there would be less pressure to do it now.  It helps for me to write out a list of everything I have to do.  Once I see everything, I can mark the priorities.  That is why the planner is essential to me.

 

I just want a break that doesn't make me feel horrible, you know?  I completely get it.  Earlier this week I installed an app on my phone that shuts it down for set periods of time.  If I want to use it before the time is up, it will charge me a dollar.  So far, it is working well.  I take half and hour to focus on reading or studying, they take ten minutes to do whatever.  I'm probably going to spend the rest of the day in that cycle.

 

Take it slow and be forgiving.  Try out a bunch of different methods and see what works best for you.

[prince eefy]

im always stressed bc i have anxiety. i mostly cope by going into little space but when i cant do that, i talk or vent to my daddy or some friends. or i watch youtube.