Pushing people away

[Guest Avi]

We have all been there. (in case you havent, keep it up!)

 

You reach that low point. you may not really "push" people away but you notice maintaining communication becomes increasingly harder. These are amazing people but you just.. cant. just a regular conversation feels like it drains every bit of energy you have. but you know its not them! But chances are, thats not what they make of it. and who could blame 'em?! i mean, when conversations are dying, i think its safe to assume the flame of the friendship is flickering. And lets be honest.. we've all heard the "im just not feeling myself" excuse so who can blame your friend when theyre skeptical?

 

i have no idea where im going with this thread. im sure you can guess that i find myself in this.. predicament. going through a rough patch and its like all control is slipping away like an oiled up rope slipping out of your hand. i love the people around me. quite a few are from this very community. the people who help me grow and taught me so much. god, i really hope im not wasting the friendships i have.

 

if youre wondering what to reply to this.. idk. this isnt really a cry for help or a plead for advice. i just.. wanted to write this down i guess. besides, you peeps have always been kind so i couldnt think of a better place to post this. much love.

[MysticSand]

You, above all, come first.

 

Please don't ever feel guilty about needing time for yourself as it's very much just a human necessity.

I think as long as those relationships aren't being treated in a destructive way (ie: pushing them away through being hostile, etc.), then no one will think the lesser of you when you do re-establish those connections.

 

You know yourself best.

If it is alone time that you need - take it.

If it is interaction and connection you need with another person - reach out and talk it out.

If it is just jammin' out to some hella depressing or hella happy songs - jam on.

 

You're awesome Aes! Do what you need to. 

Edited October 27, 2018 by MysticSand

[baby_k]

I have similar issue. Pretty often actually as I'm quite the antisocial chunk.... And I get easily tired with lot of socialising because, well, that is sort of the defination of being introvert. Meaning I can be super bubbly and talkative for moment but I can't keep that up for hours and just withdraw into my own head after my max quota for socialisation is used. For me it is absolute utter most horror if someone says I need to meet friends once a week or more. Will not happen or I get cranky and snappy or I just ignore everyone and hang in my invisible little bubble where no one else is invited ( yeah, rude when in company, I know ).

 

There are people who get offended by it, there are people who don't mind it and there are people who get it. I can easily understand that it can seem like super nasty as sometimes I talk to them like "normal" person and then radio silence, so gives maybe impression that I talk to them when nothing more interesting is at hand. Or I talk to them when I need them.

 

Luckily I have found some people who are like me. So, even if we meet once a year ( or less! ), all is okay. Or that I can message them here rarely and still no hurt feelings ( I hope ). But it still stressses me out when I talk to new people as "i know I should maintain relationships". But I try to think that they need to accept me as I am or... what's the point? And hopefully with time I find people who match with me. Some super social person who requires constant communication would not be happy with me, and I would feel pressured to talk.... So, I don't think it works that well in long run anyhow.

 

Real friends will still be there after a long no contact phase. Or so I want to think.

[Guest Aetherr]

yeah I get lime that sometimes mostly with people I don't consider part of my inner circle so to speak, there are only a few I can talk to for hours on end and not run low on "batteries" I recently lost a person in my inner circle and it's left me feeling awful as it does each time it happens also it's super suck I can't do introvert properly haah

[Teddy Bear]

I honestly can certainly relate to this thread, I just recently ruined a few perfectly safe and healthy friendships, all because of a simple misunderstanding that I just was not in the mood to fix it, so I just usually push everyone away. October is a crazy month for everyone soooo yeah i blame the month but um I do tend to do an annual "clean up", where anyone or thing that I found to be un-beneficial I would take the appropriate action to leave or delete them from my mind, it's not good to do this, but sometimes I tend to do so anyways, no matter how hard I try not to.