Discipline

[TheDaddyest]

I just laid into my little. I was very harsh. I had to be. She has some... issues. We all do in this community really. But she was going down a path that would end up with her hurt.

 

I was very direct, I was pissed. I don't get angry like that often. Like at all. I'm a ve red y upbeat and positive person.

 

Honestly to be that harsh I her hurt me a lot. Probably as much as it hurt her hearing it.

 

Her behavior brought up some shit I had to deal with a while ago and the whole thing was a mess.

 

How do you guys deal with it after having to discipline that hard?

 

It needed to happen but I feel like shit about it.

[Guest Revurex]

 

I don’t go through negative emotions afterward because I see discipline as a part of life that helps us grow and acknowledge our bullshit. I see it as justified. I’m also very disciplined myself and never “lose” control in the process. As long as there is good reasoning behind it, communication afterward, and the person understands why, I don’t second-guess myself. The only time I’d feel negative about it is if the same behavior or mistake was repeated several times. That would lead to me believe I’m failing somewhere and need to reevaluate or move on because they’re no longer respecting me.

[Guest Prat]

Aftercare

[baby_k]

Without knowing your relationship dynamic and how you BOTH want it to be, hard to comment.

 

But I'll give sort of opposing view to you as it might explain why you feel bad:

 

Is it really discipline if you are pissed and filled with emotions? Or you just lashing out in non calm way? If you think something really is needed, and you explain that and you have AGREED that is correct way to act, and she accepts the discipline and wants it, alright, I would assume there is no quilt as you know you are acting correctly. But maybe that was not fully the case?

 

Personally I would not tolerate "discipline" at all. If there is an actual issue in my behaviour, I want my partner to talk about it to me as an adult to and adult. But this s just my stand for what I wish from the dynamics of my rel. Some small stuff like me being bit annoying with something, well, there "discipline" might be alright action but it would be more like playing then as it would not be a serious topic.

 

 

Edit: even when both parties sort of enjoy or require discipline, that needs to come from place of love and caring, not anger, upset or so. If you just express your own ( negative ) emotions, it is more like a fight than helping the other to improve their life.

 

Edit 2 ( I so can't get enough of this it seems ): I think after math of any argument etc is sort of aftercare as said above. You need to re-establish that you like each other and like things between you two are okay and no hard feelings anymore.

Edited October 23, 2018 by baby_k

[TheDaddyest]

Without knowing your relationship dynamic and how you BOTH want it to be, hard to comment.

 

But I'll give sort of opposing view to you as it might explain why you feel bad:

 

Is it really discipline if you are pissed and filled with emotions? Or you just lashing out in non calm way? If you think something really is needed, and you explain that and you have AGREED that is correct way to act, and she accepts the discipline and wants it, alright, I would assume there is no quilt as you know you are acting correctly. But maybe that was not fully the case?

 

Personally I would not tolerate "discipline" at all. If there is an actual issue in my behaviour, I want my partner to talk about it to me as an adult to and adult. But this s just my stand for what I wish from the dynamics of my rel. Some small stuff like me being bit annoying with something, well, there "discipline" might be alright action but it would be more like playing then as it would not be a serious topic.

 

 

Edit: even when both parties sort of enjoy or require discipline, that needs to come from place of love and caring, not anger, upset or so. If you just express your own ( negative ) emotions, it is more like a fight than helping the other to improve their life.

 

Edit 2 ( I so can't get enough of this it seems ): I think after math of any argument etc is sort of aftercare as said above. You need to re-establish that you like each other and like things between you two are okay and no hard feelings anymore.

No no, it was necessary. It's over now it seems and everything is ok. I was purposely vague. I'd rather keep her problems and difficulties she's having to herself. It's not my place to vent that here. 

 

Last night was hard, but actually I think it hurt me for longer than it hurt her lol. I was over thinking things. I would have hated to hurt her more than she was hurting which I guess I did, but she needed to understand what she was doing was going to hurt her in the end, badly. We ended up getting closer after last night, again hah. 

That's the deal with brats though, I feel. Sometimes you just have to sort them out like that. I'd rather hurt her a bit last night then her getting herself badly hurt in the future. 

[TheDaddyest]

Aftercare

Yeah hah, I got mine later after this. She needed like 15 mins of space but she came back and she did some cheesily romantic stuff with me that I like and she thinks is silly most of the time. 

[LittleGirlEmilia]

I feel like it's quite common for DDs to feel like this after lectures/punishments. Especially if you don't have the sadistic trait lol. 

 

You seem to have got it right with giving her some space then aftercaring it up. You don't need us, you got this! x'D

[TheDaddyest]

I feel like it's quite common for DDs to feel like this after lectures/punishments. Especially if you don't have the sadistic trait lol. 

 

You seem to have got it right with giving her some space then aftercaring it up. You don't need us, you got this! x'D

Thanks hahah I'm a pretty experienced daddy. But not as much as I'd like to be with brats. But it's true although I can be sadistic at times it's not something that came naturally to me. And it's not ever going to make lecturing and confronting her like that easy.

 

I'm really happy how things went last night. And today. She's a lot better today comparatively.

 

It's only been two weeks ish but I'm hopeful we can stick this through. It's rare for me to find a little who I connect with on a level like this and she feels the same.

 

I think that's a big help in sticking this through Haha.

[junebug0325]

I mean, discipline is needed sometimes, especially if they are putting themselves in danger.

 

It's quite common to experience Dom Drop, which are the intense feelings that come after the punishment given to your sub. These feelings can be sadness, guilt, hurtfulness, etc. It happens especially when you have a great connection with your sub/little, and can be very intense.

 

The best thing to do when experiencing Dom Drop is to give yourself time and space to cope with the feelings you are experiencing. Talking with your little is also essential in this process, but can come later if need be. Also, reminding yourself that you are not a bad person and what is happening is happening between two consensual adults, and is therefore acceptable when punishing bad behavior.

 

Nevertheless, Dom Drop can happen to even the most experienced Doms, so it's best not to beat yourself up about it.

 

Thanks for reading!
 

 

 

Junebug xxx