4 years of relationship with My Vanilla Girlfriend...I want to tell her about it pleawse help!

[littlebluebabypanda]

Hello everyone.

 

 I am pretty new to in this forum but I would like to ask for your opnion/ help….give me your opinion please.

 

I have a 4 year relationship with my girlfriend. She is totally vanilla. Although the truth I must admit that sometimes it is very childish when she is with me She likes I tell her that she is my baby.
 

I call her ‘’my baby’’.

 

 She enjoys me treat her sweetly, she loves me told stories and songs before going to bed.

Despite this she is very vanilla, We have talked about fetishes and tastes but I never dared to confess that I would like to have a relationship ddlg.

 Apart from everything related to ddlg I also like a little abdl.

How did you tell your significant other you like ddlg? At what time of the relation you bring it al out? How did she/ he react?

How did it go? Do you think it's time to tell my partner?  

Can she get mad for not knowing about it all this time? How do you think people she could react?

 

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

My now Daddy and I had been together for about 4yrs (and married) before DD/LG.

I didn’t expose him to any bdsm or ddlg content until months after we were already into it.

I just told him I wanted to call him Daddy and that whilst being my husband and bff meant a lot to me, he was also very caring and looked after me like nobody else ever had, and that just ‘husband’ didn’t feel like enough of a title to express how I felt about him.

 

We worked around whatever came naturally to he and myself.

But that said, we may have been vanilla but we’ve never been ‘normal’ so that’s not going to work for everybody.

 

I brought up the idea of Rules and other things, but rather than basing it on what everyone else does I made it our own thing and customized it to fit our lives. Like referring to him as “Mr. ___” rather than Daddy when talking about him in our Rules list.

 

Tl;dr- You don’t need to rush into calling each other Daddy and Little One, using pacifiers or whips and chains.

Start out by emphasizing the things that are naturally occuring for the both of you and ease her into it once things seem like they’re close to a ‘DD/LG’ stage that it won’t be as big of a shift.

 

That’s my advice if you think she won’t take to the idea very well.

But let’s face it- calling your partner Daddy and suddenly letting them spoon feed you, it’s pretty weird for the average human. Lol

[LittleGirlEmilia]

But let’s face it- calling your partner Daddy and suddenly letting them spoon feed you, it’s pretty weird for the average human. Lol

I giggled because this isn't something you think about when you've been in the lifestyle for so long. Lol.

 

As for the topic, I'm trying to remember how my ex partner brought it up to be. I think it helped that I was already into BDSM and had natural little tendencies, so the very blunt "Have you heard of DDlg?" worked for me as that's when I started researching it.

 

I have been on the other end and tried to introduce vanilla partners to the lifestyle, I feel like it depends on the person, how they feel, what your relationship is already like, but you have to be prepared and realise that they may never be into it like you are.

 

So two different scenarios I've been in there, both with different outcomes. I suggest just asking her thoughts on it and researching it together. If she's into it then that's awesome, if she's not then that's okay too.

[Guest]

I hope you're still around. I'm curious what you have done for the last few days. My suggestion based on what you describe is not to 'come out' with ddlg if she has natural little tendencies amp it up, in a subtle way. When she let's you read her stories or during snuggle time tell her that you love when she lets you care for her, cuddle her. Ask her if you can di certain task to show how much you love her and follow those up with calling her 'my baby'.

 

A huge, humongous, word of caution! Don't do this if she has had past trouble with being manipulated, at least don't let it go on too long before admitting what you're into. If you carry this on for too long you may break her trust.

 

The only reason I'm suggesting you add verbal context to it is so that you draw her attention to it. Expressing your enjoyment and then calling her your baby or giving her a hug and kiss will activate the reward system part of her brain. She already likes all those things and may like them more.

 

After drawing her attention to what you both naturally do and seeing if you can do more for her then it may becomes easier to tell her about ddlg. By saying there is a kink you've heard/know of that fits your relationship.

 

How she will react I'm not sure, some people really don't like the label, thinking you manipulated them, some people count not telling them as a lie (of omission). Some are curious little kitties and beavers and want to know more. Other people have an ahh ha! moment and are into it from that point on. You need to be prepared for that, you know her best. Also be prepared that she may read up on it and not the description. she may not identify with being a little or a middle. If you don't care for labels then really let go of the term ddlg. Let her know that you don't need a label for your relationship. Make her feel comfy and loved, go slow and don't rush it.