Panic attacks?

[Guest Babytitan]

Okay I need some help guys

Me and daddy are in long distance relationship and have been for nearly 10 months now but neither of us has been able to visit each other due to jobs but now all of a sudden he can afford to go Vegas for an entire week??

 

This has been causing me panic attacks and tried talking to him but he’s determined that we’ll b able to talk despite time differences and I know that we can’t and it just keeps causing me more and more panic attacks

 

Does anybody have any ideas on how to deal with the panic attacks and what to do during this week as can’t work due to spinal injury

 

(We’re both in the uk with a 5 hour train ride seperating us)

Edited October 6, 2018 by Babytitan

[Guest Prat]

Try and relax and take deep breaths and think positive thoughts... Not much else you can do besides that or taking anti anxiety meds...

[SmartAssLittle]

Are you sure you want to meet him? Looks like you're not so happy that he's coming to meet you. Did you lie to him and hide something?

[Guest Swadloon]

Are you sure you want to meet him? Looks like you're not so happy that he's coming to meet you. Did you lie to him and hide something?

I think what Babytitan means is that despite her Daddy being unable to ever come and visit her due to work hours and financial reasons, suddenly her Daddy has announced out of nowhere "hey, I'm going on a trip to Vegas for the whole week!"

 

Which is making Babytitan anxious, because it raises the questions of how her Daddy suddenly got the money to take such a trip, how they're going to communicate while he's away in Vegas, etc.

 

(Correct me if I'm wrong / putting words in your mouth, Babytitan!)

Edited October 6, 2018 by Brightmoon

[SmartAssLittle]

Yes I understand that... but I would be happy that he find a way to come to see me.

 

Edit: If i want him to come.

 

 

Edit2: Oooo he is not coming to visit her...

 

Thats sucks. I would leave him immediately.

Edited October 6, 2018 by SmartAssLittle

[baby_k]

Hmm.... You can try to relax and distract yourself somehow. Easier said than done of course. Breathing techniques, meditation, just excercising ( this helps normally your brain to calm even you would not be some fitness maniac, so try dancing or walking or some other 'easy' thing if you don't have sport of your own ), do things you like, cook, talk with friends....

 

However, I think you should understand why you are have panic attacks. My wild guess is that it could be case of suppressed anger, confusion, disapointment, sadness, fear, feeling of not being important? I'm not an expert at all but in my experience that sort of extreme emotions can easily trigger panic attacks because those emotions are hard to handle and sometimes people don't deal with them or they are so huge that it just turns directly into panic attacks. That's why might be also helpful if you talk or write about how you feel, just let all come out, doesn't matter if it makes any sense at all, is it fair what you say.... just start talking or writing about it. Express your emotions without filtering or guilt.

 

I might be totally wrong ( and sorry if this is also totally out of line ) but seems you are almost apologising your emotions even you have every right to feel them. You also seem to say it is more about not being able to be in contact? Are you sure it is just about that and not that his actions regarding this in general are making you unhappy? Sometimes it is easier to "blame" some thing and try to ignore the most painful thing.

 

Pretty much any person would be super pissed if they are in LDR and won't meet because no time/money and then the other person just decides that they have time and money to have holiday. It can easily make you doubt your rel, the other persons interest in you etcetc. But of course loosing contact for one week is also something that is not excatly nice.

 

 

Edit: Sorry, just realised spinal injury probably causes you not to be able to move a lot..... So, forget the excercise etc. You need to find a way to keep yourself busy and occupied still. Maybe you like gaming, talking people online, get hooked on some series?

Edited October 6, 2018 by baby_k

[Guest Babytitan]

Are you sure you want to meet him? Looks like you're not so happy that he's coming to meet you. Did you lie to him and hide something?

He’s not coming to visit me

[SmartAssLittle]

He’s not coming to visit me

Brightmoon explained to me. Im sorry.

 

He doesnt deserve you.

 

5 hours with train...thats nothing...

[shadowrider]

A couple thoughts on this.

Firstly

I wouldn't be overjoyed about my partner taking a hop across the pond if they said they couldn't afford to come see me either.

You have every right to feel however you want to about this and also share those feelings with him.

 

Secondly

The time difference is no major thing, its a mere 8 hours.

If he wakes up at 8 in the morning its only 4 in the afternoon for you.

He could eat lunch at 11 while you eat dinner at 7 and video or text while doing so.

A large time difference isn't ideal but shouldn't keep you from talking throughout the day.

I'm sure he will have things planned throughout his time there but you should still be his main priority. If not then there should be a talk about that.

 

Lastly

I'm not a doctor but I do have a friend that is and the one thing I have heard him say to a patient that made sense to me was

"Do not call them "Panic Attacks""

Call them episodes or whatever if you must label them but not attacks.

His reasoning made sense.

"Nothing is attacking you, you are having extremely strong emotions and thats ok. When you call them attacks your mind begins to associate them with something even worse than they are, which is already terrible, and they are then multiplied in intensity."

You can google all sorts of methods to help with these emotions and it may take a bit of research to find what works for you but you can handle this. Trust me, we humans are stronger than we think.

Things that I have seen help others are breathing exercises, music, and trying to lose themselves in something they enjoy such as tv or movies.

 

I wish you all the best and if you need anything you can always reach out to friends or the staff.

Take care,

shadowrider

[Moonlight8862]

You can get free coloring apps and color pictures. You can get social media apps to meet more littles for entrainment while he’s gone. You can watch Netflix until you have nothin else to watch. Just remember to stay calm and drink fluids. Also calming music may help with the anxiety. Or cuddling stuffies. As for the trip. Idk what to say. Communication is key though. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel.