[PrincessSnorlax]

Okay so, it’s been 5 nights since I’ve spent an evening with sir. He has an early finish tonight but made plans with friends and this has made me sad (2 of the 5 nights I haven’t spent an evening with him is because he was doing his own thing so this will be the 3rd night this week) usually he only spends 2 nights a week doing his own thing and for some reason it’s really upset me and made me feel like a second choice. Am I over reacting and just being super needy or do I have a right to feel this way?

[Guest Aetherr]

people are allowed and in a relationship encouraged to do their own thing every now and then... to a point, i would say he is not pushing that but its close.. if you feel bad talk to him its an issue you have with him so tell him what you wrote here and come to a compromise... there's nothing wrong with being super need, theres a few daddies out there who love it i am among that number but as i said space to be your own person is necessary and healthy

 

even if it is depressing sometimes.

[BabyBeans]

I think it's good to talk to him about how you feel. People can't read minds, so there are many times where people won't know how you feel unless you tell them. It's okay to feel needy, so don't try to shame yourself or put yourself down because of how you feel. Make sure he knows what's going on in your mind. 

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

>_> uhhh I’d be really upset too. So you’re not alone in that.

Quick BG: My DD has been working overtime almost every day for months, we live together but I rarely see him aside from cooking his meals. Probably 1.5hr a day. And then on his freetime I let him ignore me to play videogames because I want him to relax and do whatever he wants.

 

But then if he gets an RDO (rostered day off) and chooses to spend the whole day gaming and barely acknowledges me, I definitely get upset. <.<

Because it’s like... I want him to WANT to spend time with me too? Rather than me having to go to him all the time and feeling like the only one wanting to spend time together.

 

Tldr; People have a right to go out with friends, do their own thing etc. but I would still be upset and butthurt about it. n.n But I am admittedly clingy with mine. I luff him longtime.

[baby_k]

Umh... You are absolutely entitled to feel sad, there is nothing wrong with your feelings and thing like that can easily make you feel sad, disregarded and unwanted. But he also has right to have life "outside" of your rel.

 

As others have said: talk about this with him. You need to find some sort of solution as it is not okay that you are sad. Solution just does not ( automatically ) mean that he "needs" to spend time with you more.

 

Reasons for your reactions may include: his other behavior when he is not too attentive ( stuff adds up even we may not notice it ), insecurity, just being "needy" ( I don't say that in negative way, I'm "needy" too ), not knowing what is happening in future, not agreeing to the situation ( == he sort of dictates it and you feel powerless), you not having enough own hobbies... Manymany reasons. Thou if he continuesly spends more time with others than you, I would say you have pretty decent reason to be upset and demand change to it.

 

But when you know WHY that upsets you and what your needs are, you can try to find solution / compromise.

 

I have bit similar issue with my partner as I like to stay home and not see people. He is super social. I like to know my schedules like 5 years before, he lives more in the moment... We are still about to find the ( hopefully perfect ) balance where both are genuenly happy as that is a process or trial and error, adjusting as you go. Seeing what works and what not. But trial after trial we get closer to be really content: in beginning I was pretty sure we can never work but now it seems more like thing we just need to adjust. And probably something that will change over time as the rel grows and as situations change. Like I'm super clingy and demanding if I feel insecure but if I feel cared, I don't mind him meeting friends even with short notice.

[PrincessSnorlax]

Update : my sir came home to me and we talked. There had been some miss understanding over the conversation we had via text when he was at work. Basically we was both misunderstanding what each other was saying but when he came home we went through the conversation together and discussed each part from how we felt it and we now both understand where we was coming from xx

[Guest FluffyLittleLilac]

Great update! I’m really happy for you that it all ended up being solved with a little communication.