Problems with a new little

[Zachary S.]

This is completely random and I have no idea how to word this but I want to ask anyone who's willing to listen, something. I've been talking to this little, she's such a nice and caring little; lots of aspects about her I enjoy but.. I recently found out she has 3 kids. I am young, in college, 21 years old, and she's 25 and working... I guess what I'm asking is, what should I do? I don't know if I'm ready to be a "father figure", persay, and it is a long distance relationship and I'm in no position to move. She said she would be willing to move but I would feel like shit because of the stress on her kids and whatnot. What do I do? I simply have got no idea what to do.

[Guest FluffyLittleLilac]

I think you’re very young and you’re at a completely different life stage from her because you are not ready to be a father figure and you’re still in school.So I wouldn’t recommend dropping out of your college so you can move to be closer to her. I don’t think you should pursue anything. I feel like you shouldn’t ‘settle’ if you decide it’s a major fundamental incompatibility (which I think it is) and you will eventually find a little who is much much more compatible with you.

 

To sum that up, you need to decide whether or not it’s a deal breaker for you.

At the end of the day it’s your decision and you should do what makes you happy. So good luck!

Edited October 2, 2018 by FluffyLittleLilac

[SmartAssLittle]

So much red flags.

 

Runaway immediately.

[LittleCelticLass]

I would recommend talking to her as an adult, not a little, and find out what exactly she expects from you regarding her children. Not all single mom's expect their new partners to jump right in to fatherhood.

That said, you are young, and have plenty of time to find the little of your dreams. Now is the time to meet lots of people, focus on your studies, and enjoy life. No need to settle down just yet.

[UpstateNewYorkDaddy]

I would bounce.

I just want an uncomplicated but committed relationship now

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

If you aren't ready to be a father figure, you shouldn't be starting a serious relationship with a single mother. That isn't fair to anyone involved.

[Guest Arc]

You only recently found out? She didn't tell you from the start? That... that kinda bothers me. If she can't communicate important details like that what else isn't she telling you ._. 

 

I'm also 21 and in university. I have no desire to be with anyone who had kids. Because I'm not ready and I know I'm not. I'm still young and I'm studying towards my dream. I'm getting to try all kinds of new things that I want for me and I don't want anyone potentially stopping that. I want a partner who can join in and do what I do and come to various events and things with me, and if they had kids that depended on them that would limit so many things and that's just not an option for me. Given my stage in my life it's not an option because I am putting me first. 

 

Now... it might be okay for you and in that case go for it if you want. But really really really think hard  about if you're ready and if this is right for you. You don't want any regrets later on. And if you aren't ready make sure that's known sooner rather than later because it's not fair on anyone to drag things out. 

[Zachary S.]

Thanks for all the responses so far; I'm definitely going to talk to her.