Is shyness an issue?

[MarshmallowPeep]

Is shyness an issue for anyone around here? I don't mean it as in "is it an issue if your partner is shy", but more like are you shy and does it cause issues for you?

 

Online I'm not really that shy myself, but put me in a real life, physical situation and I basically cannot function... I can't look anyone in the eyes, my face instantly goes red, I start to sweat, and all in all can't manage a conversation... It makes it difficult for me to meet new people and make friends because I'm scared they'd think I'm gross cause of the sweating, or think I may like like them and have intentions because of the blushing...

I can somewhat get over this at my work place since there I interact with older people most often, but as soon as it's someone closer to my age I just can't handle it...

 

It's a real issue for me and makes me feel self-concious about everything I do around people, from what I say and how I say it, to the way I stand and hold my posture.. And being anxious about it of course makes it much worse.

I've been teased about it often too.

 

So I just wonder does anyone else have this issue? 

[Guest Princess Lonewolf]

I have the same issue with shyness. You're actually doing better than me since you can hold a job. My shyness causes me to become very very child-like in all social situations. Going to school meetings, appointments and shopping are extremely triggering for me and therefore I usually have to have someone with me at all times. When I interact with older people they get the impression that I'm actually a kid because of my shyness. It's frustrating and restrictive for me because I can't do what's "normal". Online my shyness comes out in two ways...1) I don't say much at all & 2) I keep my comments short and on point.

On the flip side of the shyness coin, it does help me provide understanding of the shyness of others to those who think the shy individual is being rude or disrespectful. When I was younger it was so bad that I didn't even leave my bedroom. It's a little better now because I can leave my room and have a maximum of 3 people outside my family (3 kids) in my home.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

for me, my shyness is limited to specific things & they tend to be both online & off.

it's problematic because i can see like a really extroverted person when i'm in my comfort zone, but the moment you take me out, 

things start getting a little wobbly. 

 

once i make a mistake, especially publicly, i have a hard time recovering.

thinking on my feet isn't easy for me, which is why i guess online exchanges tend to be easier for me.

improv is not my forte & i prefer having time to think about my response, maybe even revise it before sending. 

 

i'm learning to take myself less seriously, & that's been helping with when i embarrass myself in public.

[xlouise]

An issue for me? Massively. You do not know the start of it...

 

That is all I have to say.

[Funeral]

A lot of Dominants that I've had are actually turned on by shyness so I don't think it's an issue on their end. 

It's obviously not so easy for us because we're feeling shy/embarrassed but it gets easier as time goes on and you're around them more. 

[Guest Vintage Daddy]

Personally I think shyness to some extent is a desirable trait in a partner.

 

It is far more attractive than a pushy obnoxious loudmouth.

 

When I was young I was also very shy in person. Crippling shyness. I do not know how or why but I outgrew it somehow.

[prince eefy]

shyness is a major problem with me. im not too shy around my daddy anymore, but i am cripplingly shy around other people. to the point where people probably think im mute but idk. im still a little shy when in little space around my daddy, im basically nonverbal and really really quiet while in little space around him irl. i tend to point a lot,,

 

but i am really super shy around other people.

[LittleCelticLass]

Online it's easier for me to warm up to people, especially here on the Forum Chat. In private messaging, it takes a bit longer. IRL, I am painfully shy. So much so that I litteraly can not easily go unknown places without someone I know, and I rarely speak unless spoken to, even with friends and family. But I'm working on it. I force myself to go somewhere new every year for vacation.

[Guest Arc]

I'm shy in some situations, but I think my anxiety has a lot to do with it. I'm generally fine until I do something wrong, muddle up my words, say something stupid, or someone makes a small joke or jab at something I do. Then I get thrown off and I find it hard to recover immediately because my anxiety just takes over lol. Then I feel shy. I struggle to talk, I blush, and I just want to crawl in a hole and hide far away from people. ><

[Guest infinitecases]

My shyness shows itself in certain ticks I have. I keep touching my nose/nose bridge, I huddle over into myself, I get really self conscious about my walking  and I always feel the need to be doing something with my hands. The first step is noticing all these things and being aware of them. I'm worse with people my age also.. anyone who's a lot younger than me (children) or older people, I'm completely fine with unless it's more of an interview etc situation. 

 

I find that living by myself and not having anyone to depend on forces me to come out of my shell a little and confront all my fears - but as soon as someone else comes into my life, like if I stay with my parents, I instantly just go back to being really anxious about things. I also tend to find that there are days where it's particularly bad, and even though I know I need to do things and physically make myself leave the house, I feel so bad and overly anxious to the point it's difficult to breathe and just exhausting to go outside and see people. My shyness doesn't stop me from doing very very important things, but it does stop me from backtracking and walking into a store if I liked their window display for example, or changing direction when walking, from doing certain things in front of other people etc... 

[James.]

Not quite what you're asking for, but I feel it might be somewhat helpful/insightful. I really love that my little is so shy, and I actually encourage/reinforce/complement a lot of her shy behavior (i.e. blushing.) I think it helps her to feel better about herself. After I've done it she still feels shy, often more so, but she doesn't feel so anxious/bad about feeling that way. While I think that shyness can typically be overcome if that is what you want, I don't think it necessarily has to be "fixed" if it is not negatively impacting your life in any significant way. I've thought about this a lot, as I've always been attracted to this type of personality, but I've never wanted to hinder my partner or prevent her from pursuing what makes her happy. For me, I think it is about striking that balance between helping her to grow and reassuring her that her qualities, specifically those she feels least confident about, such as shyness, are what make her the person I fell for in the first place. In other words, if your shyness is hindering you in your daily life in a meaningful way, or is incompatible with your future goals, take what actions you can to work on that. But in my opinion, shyness in and of itself is not a bad thing, and can be an attractive quality to some.

Edited October 3, 2018 by James.

[Salems lot]

I'm quite shy, on and offline. And it can cause alot off issues for me. One being miscommunication, since I'm super shy someone can say something and I will either not hear or not understand them and I won't say anything because that draws unwanted attention. Another big issue I have is that since I'm so quiet and shy, I don't have any irl friends.

[Guest stuffiesprincess]