Forever in Little space

[Daddysittlepwincess]

Me and Daddy are both new to the dd/lg lifestyle. Although its something I've wanted for a long time I find that I fall into little space more and note around Daddy. I love Daddy and feel safe in little space around him. But because we're both so new to this I don't want to overwhelm him. Sometimes when he tries to be serious its very hard for me not stay out if little space. Am I the only one?

[ziva vlad's kitten]

i have found that i have the same problem. It has taken us some time, about two years since we started dating, to work out what is right for us. There were times i thought the level i was dependent on Him was OK, but i was making Him uncomfortable. There were also times i thought i was being too needy, and He was perfectly OK with it and didn't mind if i was even more needy.

What has helped us a lot is not getting wound up in the moment, but waiting until later when we are both calm, discussing things, and trying something different. Also just because something isn't working right now doesn't mean that it won't ever work for you. Some things take longer to figure out than others. There's nothing wrong with easing yourself into the shallow end slowly instead of diving into the deep end. Easier said than done when you fall too easily into little space.

Something that helps me is paying attention to tone of voice: is he talking to you like a baby? Or is he talking to you in a very adult voice and needing a serious response? my Papa Kitty took time to warm up to parts of DD/lg, but now that He has, i can stay in little space for more time without it becoming a problem. i've also learned how to pull myself out of it more easily when i need to, and He has learned how to help me come out of it. There are also times, like if i'm not feeling well (something that happens unfortunately frequently), that i cannot cope with serious discussion and i need to stay little. We have learned how to spot those times and reschedule the serious conversation for later whenever possible.

ALL relationships need time and effort to figure out a natural rhythm. However, you have to give it a little bit extra when there is a power exchange. If you have a problem you can't solve, try to calm down, forgive each other for anything that was upsetting, and come back and talk about it later with some fresh perspective.

[Guest LittleAva]

Daddy and i are new to the DD/lg world also. i'm the one that introduced Him to the dynamic and He tells me how He's super interested in it, but sometimes it's like what He says goes through one ear and out the other and then my insecurities take over. Sometimes i feel like being in little space bothers Him, but i have no reason for having those feelings. He's my safe place and i'm finding myself spending a lot of time in little space and I have a lot of trouble just turning that switch off. But if i feel like He might want big me, i'll try and read the expression on His face or ask Him if He needs me to be my grown-up self and most of the time i'm wrong and it's just my insecurities thinking He wants me to be serious. i think the key is communication. Maybe try telling him that you have trouble getting out of little space sometimes when he needs you to and maybe see if you can agree on some sort of signal to let you know that he needs your serious side? i'm not the best at advice... obviously... But i understand the struggle and it'll get easier, i promise!