Daddy and I broke up

[Little_lauren]

[Little Illy]

Unfortunately it didn't sound like he was truly invested in the relationship (in my opinion). And it sounds like the easiest thing for him to do is blame you for everything and break it off. Most people do this when they don't want to deal with the responsibility that they may have messed up in a relationship. 

 

What I would recommend is stop berating yourself that you were not appreciative enough and reflect back over the last 9 months. Go through and try your best to recall things that happened. Write them out if you need to. We don't know what really happened in your relationship but you do. We could say he was a total asshole and you dodged a bullet, or some could say you don't show him enough appreciation. Simply because we don't know the whole story. So go back and reflect on everything. Was he a taker (always taking your time, energy, effort, love, affection, etc and never giving the same back)? Were you? Did he not recognize what you did for him? Did he do stuff that you didn't recognize he did for you? Was he giving all he could and became frustrated?

 

Only you can answer these questions. And after you have a good idea and realize you both probably had hand in hand (even if it was him not communicating or you not standing up for yourself) in the break up. But what it will help you realize is if he was treating you badly, now you know how to care for yourself and look for the red flags. And if it was a fault on your end, hopefully itll help you work through it. I can't say which side is "right" or "wrong" but I can say with some certainty that it takes two to make a relationship and two to break it. Sometimes someone is at fault, and sometimes no one is and they just weren't compatible.

 

I am so sorry you are going through this, break ups are never easy, even more so with DDlg. I hope you can find some closure and move on to bigger and better things.

[Little_lauren]

[Garren]

Yeah, it definitely sounds like he more or less just wanted to have you when it was convenient for him and wasn't thinking about you or your feelings. It's awful that you had to go through this but perhaps it was for the best, you know? You need to find someone who will respect you amd make you feel like the special little that you try to be.

[Little Illy]

 That didn’t work and now I’m just disappointed in myself for letting this happen. He’s gone and I don’t know what to do

 

Never be disappointed in learning about yourself. What you should do is learn from this experience and what I see is;

 

- Now you know to not just accept blame, its not fair to yourself.

- Now you know you need to make your voice heard, because your partner should care just as much about you as you do him.

- Now you know to clearly express where you sexuality and little identity lies - and make sure he understands there is no crossing that line.

 

- But now you know, you DO stick up for yourself and you DO matter enough to let out that negative force from your life. You are WORTH having a Daddy who loves you for you and doesn't make you uncomfortable.

 

Take these lessons and allow yourself some time to grieve over the broken relationship. But know you are more than able to stand up for yourself and as for what to do? Do what makes you happy and be with people who make you happy.

[Little_lauren]

Yeah, it definitely sounds like he more or less just wanted to have you when it was convenient for him and wasn't thinking about you or your feelings. It's awful that you had to go through this but perhaps it was for the best, you know? You need to find someone who will respect you amd make you feel like the special little that you try to be.

It definitely felt like he was using me when he wanted to feel like a daddy. Maybe it was for the best but right now, I’m struggling really hard with it. I’m so heartbroken because even though he did all these bad things, he was there for me at the worst part of my life, my PTSD, my nightmares about what happened to me, and waited for a relationship with me until he and I both knew that I was ready.

[Little_lauren]

Never be disappointed in learning about yourself. What you should do is learn from this experience and what I see is;

 

- Now you know to not just accept blame, its not fair to yourself.

- Now you know you need to make your voice heard, because your partner should care just as much about you as you do him.

- Now you know to clearly express where you sexuality and little identity lies - and make sure he understands there is no crossing that line.

 

- But now you know, you DO stick up for yourself and you DO matter enough to let out that negative force from your life. You are WORTH having a Daddy who loves you for you and doesn't make you uncomfortable.

 

Take these lessons and allow yourself some time to grieve over the broken relationship. But know you are more than able to stand up for yourself and as for what to do? Do what makes you happy and be with people who make you happy.

 

Thank you for the good advice, I’ll try my best

[Garren]

I understand that pain. When my Switch left me I was pretty lost. She was my emotional support, and then she ghosted me for three weeks and cheated on me. It really messed with me emotionally. Since then it's just been taking it slow and trying to find someone who'll love me like I love them. You'll find someone bette in time.

[Guest Arc]

Honestly it sounds like he just wasn't that into it, and you're better off without him. If you're only an hour away and he won't make time for you more than once a month then he simply wasn't as into it as you. And it was unfair of him to allow the relationship to continue when he knew you needed more than he was willing to give. 

 

I obviously don't know the full story, but from what you've said it was a very one sided relationship. You bought those things, you  were the one arranging when you spent time together, and you were the one travelling to him. Relationships need to have both sides working equally or it's unfair to one side. I'm sorry you've had to go through this, but hopefully you can recover soon and meet someone who appreciates you and is willing to put that effort in you deserve. 

[Tinka]

i have the impression the story is incomplete. We also havent heard his side of things we cant judge someone based only on the story of the Little. 

In a relationship there are 2. 

 

Also i can think of various reasons why he wouldnt want to continue.

A lot of times we dont take into consideration that our partners are still humans who try to see what is nice for them. 

You being everyday a little maybe showed him that its something he wouldnt want to deal with, everyday.

Maybe you were not the right one for him, maybe he has problems that drag him away from the ddlg dynamic, maybe maybe maybe.

 

You said you wanted to see him more than one month at a time, maybe he couldnt afford it, and by you mentioning it again and again, it put an extra pressure on him.

He said you dont appreciate enough , but he or you didnt explain more on the matter, so we can figure out whats going on.

 

Anyway bottom line is that when someone is not what you need and you are not happy, dont put yourself on the corner so he can have more space in the room , since its obvious the man suffocates in general. 

Let him go, find something that will make BOTH OF YOU extra happy. Since you said you were a very happy little etc, but no where was any mention of if HE WAS HAPPY in the relationship.

What we want is not always what our partner wants.

And if its too much its better to let things go.