Advice needed...

[Abby simons]

Hi everyone.

I recently met someone who's the perfect daddy for me. We haven't had a proper 'session' yet but we've been getting to know each other and he gave me a few 'previews' as he put it.. spanking, anal play, choking, etc.. he said we'll take things slow before we go into it fully which I'm okay with.

This is his first time being a daddy. He's someone with BDSM experience but wants to learn and give me what I need.

I've fantasized often about messing my diapers but have never actually.. So.. littles who have.. what's it like ? And daddies who've made their littles mess..do you find it disgusting? I'm worried I'll push him too much and then I'll lose him.

This is one.

Two. I noticed that when I would try to tell him things about my past (things that hurt me) he would cut me off. Do you think I should be more insistent that he listens to me or should I wait, and he's doing this because it's still early stages?

[Guest Aetherr]

theres a difference between hanging onto the past and talking about it for the sake of context, he may think you are getting hung up on things that may be upsetting to you or him and as a result he is unwilling to discuss it, you should ask him why he doesent want to talk and if what i think is the case is actually the case you need to show him that its in the past if it really is

 

as for abdl, is he into bodily sluids? scat? piss? if not i dont think it will be recieved well (i cannot say for sure since i have no interest of curiosity about ab/dl or anything under that title)

[Little Illy]

For the diapers, I guess I will out myself here. So...

 

 

 

 

Daddy and I both started out with the same thought - we hate the ABDL aspect of DDlg. We figured it wasn't for us. After we got into our first session and my first littlespace, everything changed. We realized, we actually didn't hate ABDL and wanted to tunnel deeper. But still, even though nappies (diapers) were now considered an option, messing them was an absolute NO! ... but the longer Daddy and I explore my little side and his CG side... we realized... we want to have that kinda of dynamic and intimacy. We are still very much on the NO! other than urine, but... look how everything has changed!

 

 

 

 

No one can tell you what will turn him on or off except for him. And no one can tell you what you both like other than the two of you. If you really want this element in your dynamic, you need to own up, take responsibility and explain exactly what you need.  "Messing in diapers and having a CG care for me is a really big focal point. It makes me feel little, happy, cared for and closer to my CG" You need to be honest with him, otherwise he is just guessing in the dark.

 

Please read this: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/28037-communication-is-vital/ (SFW)

 

That thread gets into the direct issue of you Daddy not hearing you out with the personal issues. It also explains how a lack of communication can be devastating. It then gets into the necessity of openly presenting who you are and what you need/want. All of these things seem to be an issue (at least in a small degree) when it comes to the nappies and to your past. 

Edited September 18, 2018 by Little Illy

[Guest Vintage Daddy]

You should be able to discuss anything and everything openly and honestly.

 

And I myself have always thought the sooner the better.

 

It's much easier to build on that way IMHO

[Guest Arc]

Diapers aren't my thing personally, so I can't help you out there. But if it's something you're interested in you should talk to him about it. Communication is super important, and even if he isn't into it then maybe it's just something you can do by yourself. If he's interested in you then he'll be open to at least talking about it, or even allowing you to do what you enjoy by yourself. There's no reason you shouldn't be able to do it.

 

I think you should be instant that he listens. Communication is important and without communication you're going to have problems. Things that have hurt you are never easy to share, and sometimes they're not so easy for the person listening to hear. Especially if they're empathetic or if they feel useless that you hurt and they can't do anything. I know with my ex I struggled to listen about his past because I'm so empathetic it upset me too, but I pushed past through it because I cared and wanted him to be able to share that with me. You should ask him why he keeps cutting you off, and ask if he'd be willing to sit down and talk about it properly. 

 

I can't say enough how important communication is lol.