My Daddy Lacks Paternal Instincts...

[littlevanessa.x]

We've been together a little over a year now.  We didn't start out as a DDLG couple.  I didn't even know it was a "real thing" or that there was a name for it until I started Googling the strange feelings I was having about a month ago seeking some advice and help.

 

I always knew deep down that I was a "Little".  I always felt young in my mind, like there was something wrong with me because I didn't feel like I had the ability to grow up.  Now, I'm realizing what it is - I am able to identify it.

 

I expressed the fact I wanted to call my SO "Daddy" before we started dating, but he didn't realize I was serious, and I was too scared to tell him I meant it, and honestly, I didn't really know what it was I was feeling deep down before.

 

Now, he's trying to fulfill his role as my daddy, but he's having a rough time with it.  Last night, he got so mad at me and said "Fuck you, I hate you" to me and I can't stop feeling like maybe we started our DDLG relationship a little too late and there's too much bad history and negativity between him and I.  I feel like things are too broken to fix and I don't know if I should just move on and search for a new daddy.

 

I really don't know if I love my daddy anymore, and I just want to run away...

[SnowPea]

You've answered your own question.

You dont need to rely on someone who thinks they can say such awful things just because they're mad. Nobody needs that. Especially not a little.

 

You can be little without having a caregiver. Nurture yourself first and foremost. So please don't take that kind of abuse! Nobody deserves that!

D:

[Guest buddhagirl]

That is not a good daddy thing to say! I don't think this is a ddlg issue, but a general relationship issue. You can do better. 

[littlevanessa.x]

You've answered your own question.

You dont need to rely on someone who thinks they can say such awful things just because they're mad. Nobody needs that. Especially not a little.

 

You can be little without having a caregiver. Nurture yourself first and foremost. So please don't take that kind of abuse! Nobody deserves that!

D:

You are right.  I can be little without a caregiver, and I think that's the best way to go.

 

Thank you so much for your post.

[littlevanessa.x]

That is not a good daddy thing to say! I don't think this is a ddlg issue, but a general relationship issue. You can do better. 

It is a general relationship issue and I know I can do better too.  Maybe time alone would be good for a while.

[The Perennial Princess]

You shouldn't tolerate a partner being disrespectful in a vanilla relationship let alone a DDLG one. When two people love each other, they should always be conscientious of the other, even when angry, and be consistent with kindness and respect. DDLG relies heavily on the respect element and I would find it awfully hard to respect a partner who clearly neither respects me or himself given that he is lashing out in such a manner. Although such an outburst may seem small, it is not. Eventually, such behaviors will carve out a path of resentment and bitterness between you two and poison the harmony of future relations. You need someone who can nurture you and treat you with tenderness and not make you feel badly about yourself. I would sincerely reevaluate my choices and find someone who truly appreciates you once you are ready.