Daddy maybe losing interest?

[prettylittleprincess714]

Hiii everyone!
I'm a 5 year old little (big me is 19 years old), I love being little! Its amazing to me, Its so beautiful and i wouldnt change it for the world. When i found out I was a little, I was in a loving relationship with my boyfriend (lets call him Max). Im shy, so naturally, I was scared to share with Max that I was little and I was scared of what he would think... But i really wanted him to be my daddy. I wanted to share this part of myself and my life with him. I tried to explain to Max what DDLG was , he already enjoyed being called daddy and he would sometimes say things like "good little girl" to me which would make my heart burst with excitement! But when I tried to explain what DDLG was to him, it didnt come out right. I was so shy that i did a bad job in explaining it, he didnt get it. So i continued just being little on my own. A few months later, due to other reasons Max and I broke up but remained bestfriends. I moved to a different state but still visited the one Max lived in from time to time. I got more comfortable talking to Max about my little side/littlespace since we were just friends at the time. At the time, I had met another daddy who was seemingly everything that I was craving in a daddy, but had some traits that were abusive, so I stopped being his little girl. I expressed to Max how sad I was about it, and how much I wanted a daddy. Thats when he started doing his own research. He surprised me by saying that he knew what ddlg was and that alot of things about my personality made sense now that he knew about ddlg and knew that I was a little. He started babytalking me and being a long distance daddy. When i came and visited him, he started telling me about what he had planned for my after care , punishing me when i was bratty, babying me, etc. It was amazing.  Time flew by and we ended up getting back together months later when I moved back to the state he lived in. Daddy him was amazing for a time. He would always babytalk me and give me allll the cuddles and i would always draw for him and he'd punish me when I was bratty. But slowly.. that started to decline. He doesnt do alot of the stuffs other daddies do and I wish he did..he doesnt baby talk me like he used to or give me aftercare or punish me like he used to. I wish he'd fill my sippy cup or color with me... 

 

I miss it.. im not sure what to do... I wish he'd treat me like the little girl i am..

 

helpppp

[Guest Aetherr]

you have to understand that even if he is a daddy he may not be in as far as you are and theres nothing wrong with that people are all different and personally i would be glad he looked into it and gave it a go it was something you wanted him to do and he did it but at the same time your need to question if you are looking for a daddy or a boyfriend because it sonds alot to me like he is more your daddy and based on how you are here talking about it i think you feel this so then you have to decide how you feel about him as a person because if you dont click with him as a person and he is not the sort of daddy you want then you may be better letting him down nicely and looking for a daddy that is a better match for you

 

you should talk to him and find out what he wants and how he feels.. that seems to be a recurring issues with most littles who dont seem to get what they wanted from a daddy, they go online when they should be communicating.. us daddies we arent psychic, some of us may know our littles well and pick up on hints that things are not as happy as they seem or they make a lucky guess but assume that is not the case 99% of the time

 

 

talk to him if you two are not on the same page then take some time to work out what you want more because daddies like to love and be loved sometimes just as much and sometimes more then we like spoiling and caring for our little

[prettylittleprincess714]

tha

 

you have to understand that even if he is a daddy he may not be in as far as you are and theres nothing wrong with that people are all different and personally i would be glad he looked into it and gave it a go it was something you wanted him to do and he did it but at the same time your need to question if you are looking for a daddy or a boyfriend because it sonds alot to me like he is more your daddy and based on how you are here talking about it i think you feel this so then you have to decide how you feel about him as a person because if you dont click with him as a person and he is not the sort of daddy you want then you may be better letting him down nicely and looking for a daddy that is a better match for you

 

you should talk to him and find out what he wants and how he feels.. that seems to be a recurring issues with most littles who dont seem to get what they wanted from a daddy, they go online when they should be communicating.. us daddies we arent psychic, some of us may know our littles well and pick up on hints that things are not as happy as they seem or they make a lucky guess but assume that is not the case 99% of the time

 

 

talk to him if you two are not on the same page then take some time to work out what you want more because daddies like to love and be loved sometimes just as much and sometimes more then we like spoiling and caring for our little

that makes sense, thank you so much

[sullenDaddybones]

Not a Daddy or Little Thing a Human thing.

 

Met a Little on here we talked for hours for weeks...8 weeks in, they cannot find the time to talk to me. Viola I lay it on the line and they're like I am too busy for you. LDR

 

Had the same thing happen about 10-15 times over my lifetime on-line. In real life the same way...

 

Only time when someone didn't lose interest when the long term intention was to marry and or live together permanently.

 

I never try to make a Little out of a girl. Never try to make a Daddy out of a regular guy IMHO(there may be that rare exception of someone is something and doesn't know it but generally I find people do it more to please the other person and I've tried to be something I am not and did go to hell cause I got BORED to tears with it and burned out)

 

People with try to be something they're not to please people but it usually never lasts or causes permanent 'issues'

Edited September 10, 2018 by sullenDaddybones

[prettylittleprincess714]

you have to understand that even if he is a daddy he may not be in as far as you are and theres nothing wrong with that people are all different and personally i would be glad he looked into it and gave it a go it was something you wanted him to do and he did it but at the same time your need to question if you are looking for a daddy or a boyfriend because it sonds alot to me like he is more your daddy and based on how you are here talking about it i think you feel this so then you have to decide how you feel about him as a person because if you dont click with him as a person and he is not the sort of daddy you want then you may be better letting him down nicely and looking for a daddy that is a better match for you

 

you should talk to him and find out what he wants and how he feels.. that seems to be a recurring issues with most littles who dont seem to get what they wanted from a daddy, they go online when they should be communicating.. us daddies we arent psychic, some of us may know our littles well and pick up on hints that things are not as happy as they seem or they make a lucky guess but assume that is not the case 99% of the time

 

 

talk to him if you two are not on the same page then take some time to work out what you want more because daddies like to love and be loved sometimes just as much and sometimes more then we like spoiling and caring for our little

I asked him about what he wants from his little and how he feels, he told me hes never really thought about it... i also sent him screenshots of how we used to talk to eachother when he first started being my daddy and told him i miss it, he kinda just made an "aw" face and didnt respond

[prettylittleprincess714]

Not a Daddy or Little Thing a Human thing.

 

Met a Little on here we talked for hours for weeks...8 weeks in, they cannot find the time to talk to me. Viola I lay it on the line and they're like I am too busy for you. LDR

 

Had the same thing happen about 10-15 times over my lifetime on-line. In real life the same way...

 

Only time when someone didn't lose interest when the long term intention was to marry and or live together permanently.

 

I never try to make a Little out of a girl. Never try to make a Daddy out of a regular guy IMHO(there may be that rare exception of someone is something and doesn't know it but generally I find people do it more to please the other person and I've tried to be something I am not and did go to hell cause I got BORED to tears with it and burned out)

 

People with try to be something they're not to please people but it usually never lasts or causes permanent 'issues'

Thats the thing, I asked him before if he still wants to be my daddy , i told him i was feeling lonely. He said he does, but that he sometimes doesnt feel like being daddy. Which hurt my feelings and im trying to accept that. Its hard though because I love being little, when he is in daddy space its great but i need more. When i try to talk to him about it he says he feels forced. and thats the thing, we already live together and are talking about marriage.. so its super serious i love him so much. I just need more from him daddy wise... i dont know how to bring it up in a way where he'll be open about it..

[Guest Aetherr]

that tells me he is basically being a daddy for your benefit, you gotta take the initiative and ask him if he wants to continue being a daddy because you arent getting what you need as a little, its not fun to be something your not for another and its not fun to be in a relationship with someone who doesent fit you.. i hope you two work it out!

 

 

edit: just saw what you wrote, if you love him you may need to learn self care and being a little on your own because you are asking him to be something he is not, its great he is a daddy which is already a good reason to compromise with him!

Edited September 10, 2018 by Aetherr

[prettylittleprincess714]

My thing is, if he doesnt wanna be my daddy id like to know that. I've told him that before. Id rather be little by myself and happy than to have him fake being my daddy to try to make me happy... even though its a sweet gesture, that'll just make me lonely. 

[prettylittleprincess714]

that tells me he is basically being a daddy for your benefit, you gotta take the initiative and ask him if he wants to continue being a daddy because you arent getting what you need as a little, its not fun to be something your not for another and its not fun to be in a relationship with someone who doesent fit you.. i hope you two work it out!

gotcha.. thank you so much for your help!

[prettylittleprincess714]

that tells me he is basically being a daddy for your benefit, you gotta take the initiative and ask him if he wants to continue being a daddy because you arent getting what you need as a little, its not fun to be something your not for another and its not fun to be in a relationship with someone who doesent fit you.. i hope you two work it out!

 

 

edit: just saw what you wrote, if you love him you may need to learn self care and being a little on your own because you are asking him to be something he is not, its great he is a daddy which is already a good reason to compromise with him!

i think i will, do you think i should talk to him about not being my daddy anymore, or should I just do it?

[prettylittleprincess714]

I really appreciate everyones help thank youzzz!

[sullenDaddybones]

Poor thing! You sit down you say look!!!!

 

"I am This, a Little, if you love me you will have to accept it. One way or another if it's what you are, in your heart they will have to accept and love you the way you are. If they want to participate, wonderful! If not then perhaps you will have to tell them you require an outside source to fill this!"

 

Do it seriously and make them a meal. It gets a man's attention. My ex lover finally got married after 4 years we haven't spoken. She is a Nymphomaniac and her husband openly accepts and lets her be it cause he knows that she will likely not succeed without him. Without him accepting it! He does and their relationship is working and that's not nearly as severe as a Little. A cutsie sweet angel...who just wants to be cared for OF COURSE finding a Platonic Daddy hmmm... Good luck Life is so complex why can't it be more simple?

Thats the thing, I asked him before if he still wants to be my daddy , i told him i was feeling lonely. He said he does, but that he sometimes doesnt feel like being daddy. Which hurt my feelings and im trying to accept that. Its hard though because I love being little, when he is in daddy space its great but i need more. When i try to talk to him about it he says he feels forced. and thats the thing, we already live together and are talking about marriage.. so its super serious i love him so much. I just need more from him daddy wise... i dont know how to bring it up in a way where he'll be open about it..

[prettylittleprincess714]

Poor thing! You sit down you say look!!!!

 

"I am This, a Little, if you love me you will have to accept it. One way or another if it's what you are, in your heart they will have to accept and love you the way you are. If they want to participate, wonderful! If not then perhaps you will have to tell them you require an outside source to fill this!"

 

Do it seriously and make them a meal. It gets a man's attention. My ex lover finally got married after 4 years we haven't spoken. She is a Nymphomaniac and her husband openly accepts and lets her be it cause he knows that she will likely not succeed without him. Without him accepting it! He does and their relationship is working and that's not nearly as severe as a Little. A cutsie sweet angel...who just wants to be cared for OF COURSE finding a Platonic Daddy hmmm... Good luck Life is so complex why can't it be more simple?

Thank you so much! It makes me wanna cwy :c i wanna be in little space with a daddy who will care for me and be thewe for me and i can be thewe for him too :c i think i may need this from an outside source.... i dont think he will like that though :c

[sullenDaddybones]

I had a few people in my life that required something I couldn't or wouldn't give them. I'm stubborn so I don't accept that. So now adays I lay on the line ahead of time this is "ME" and I ask, what about "YOU?"

 

i.e. a girl I met last year on DDLG was pregnant and wanted a relationship. I told her, I don't want kids and she insisted that it was of no consequence. However it was and we ended after months of fighting. Just a few months later she pregnant and married. See.... She wouldn't admit the truth! Never drag someone into something.

 

Thank you so much! It makes me wanna cwy :c i wanna be in little space with a daddy who will care for me and be thewe for me and i can be thewe for him too :c i think i may need this from an outside source.... i dont think he will like that though :c

[Guest Aetherr]

Thank you so much! It makes me wanna cwy :c i wanna be in little space with a daddy who will care for me and be thewe for me and i can be thewe for him too :c i think i may need this from an outside source.... i dont think he will like that though :c

 

 

you dont need a daddy to feel like a little, i know of a few little's in this forum who do it without ever needing a daddy but if that is not an option then you guys need to call it a day

i

[xBabydollx]

"He said he does, but that he sometimes doesnt feel like being daddy."

 

This to me says it all. He wants and enjoys being a Daddy, but only occasionally which is perfectly fine. Some ppl want this lifestyle 24/7, some a few times a week, and others even more rarely. It sounds like u want this 24/7 and that is simply not what he desires. Like he said, when u push him to be in Daddy mode more, he feels forced. u will either need to learn to accept that he doesnt want this as daily as u, and find ways to occupy ur little self when he isn't in Daddy Mode, or find a partner who wants a 24/7 dynamic like u desire. u will need to compromise or move on. u cant force him to want to be Daddy more, just like he can't make u be in littlespace less. The feeling of being forced into something often makes ppl want to stop doing something entirely, so I would deeply consider all options and tread cautiously

[Little Illy]

But slowly.. that started to decline. He doesnt do alot of the stuffs other daddies do and I wish he did..he doesnt baby talk me like he used to or give me aftercare or punish me like he used to. I wish he'd fill my sippy cup or color with me... 

 

I miss it.. im not sure what to do... I wish he'd treat me like the little girl i am..

 

helpppp

 

Honestly it sounds like a dude whose interest was sparked and then his curiosity died. It sounds like he wanted to be your Daddy because he knew how much it meant to you, but doesn't really understand the responsibility of being a Daddy. What it also sounds like is that he is over it.

 

 

I asked him about what he wants from his little and how he feels, he told me hes never really thought about it... i also sent him screenshots of how we used to talk to eachother when he first started being my daddy and told him i miss it, he kinda just made an "aw" face and didnt respond

 

You stated he claimed to have done research, and if he had done research and actually thought it through, his preferred little type would've been the thing he thought about. At least a bit. But the fact he didn't respond to a genuine concern shows he doesn't really care about going more in depth.

 

I wont lie, I havent read all of the responses above - but I honestly think you need to leave him. There have been signs of incompatibility throughout your story, signs that show there isn't proper communication and most importantly, there are massive red flags showing... he doesn't care.

 

It also sounds like youve placed a lot of eggs in this basket and from the looks of it, it hasn't done a lot of good. You are 19 and losing your first Daddy is extremely hard. I totally understand as us older members have definitely been through it. I recommend people looking at their situation as if it was their best friend. If your best friend was a little and all of this happened to her, what would you say? Would you tell her she needs to stop wasting time with someone who isn't on the same page? Would you tell her she needs to be patient and let him come to the dynamic on his own? 

 

Would you think it is acceptable, in any realm, for a Daddy to not administer appropriate Aftercare?

 

Just as much as he isn't willing to tell you he isn't comfy with being your Daddy (for whatever reason, and that reason is valid - don't forget that), it sounds like you might have a hard time accepting the compatibility issue present. You are already talking about an "outside source" for your need for a Daddy. You are officially unhappy in your relationship - you are out sourcing a part of your relationship so you can be happy. And you are thinking about this without talking to your partner. This is beyond trying to find compatibility, you guys have broken communication.

 

I would recommend the following:

 

1. Sit down, step out of they dynamic, and discuss the options with him; yall want to remain together? Does he want to be a Daddy? Do you want to stay with him if he doesn't actually like being a Daddy? Will you be able to make your relationship open if needed for you to get a platonic Daddy? Do yall wanna go through the stress of figuring it out?

 

2. Lets go down the road that you two want to stay together; If you two are going to try to make things work, BOTH of you need to do a lot more research. You are fairly set in your ways and are young. Which equals a more narrow amount of experience (NOT saying you dont' understand everything, but rather you are still changing so everything can change easily). And not only that, according to you, he is new to this scene, so I almost guarantee he hasn't done enough research. 

 

If yall were engaging in the dynamic and punishments, but no Aftercare, it really kinds shows where the game needs to be stepped up. 

 

3. Once you both have done a ton more research, try to figure out what you want vs what you need in a DDlg relationship. And don't be coy with what you need, be BLUNT. He needs to be blunt as well. Because if you two want to live a happy DDlg life, no more hints, hiding or trying to manipulate. You both need to be honest with what you expect AND if you two think you are right for one another.

 

4. Baby steps. No more putting so much pressure on you or him to create this instant relationship and space that fulfills both of your needs. Like him catering to you in littlespace while coloring with you. Understand in the beginning of truly working this out, you will be outside of the dynamic a lot. You will be discussing many different things, a lot. So try not to put expectations out there that it is instantly going to come together and you two will live happily ever after. It wont happen, but you two can be extremely happy exploring and experimenting with new things you can add to the dynamic.

 

Never try to solely focus on the end game (Daddy coloring with you in littlespace) but rather experience the journey because it can be just as rewarding.

 

IF you two wont get back together:

 

2. You need to end things and take the research and find out everything about yourself. Needs, wants, desires, fantasies, turns of, ons, etc. Anything and everything you think you can. And then go through the process of trying to be little without a Daddy. All littles are Little without a caregiver, so try to remember that. Try to be happy coloring for yourself.

 

Don't make the mistake of putting your happiness on a person (Daddy), otherwise youll forever be dependent on him for happiness in general. This is a toxic type of relationship. Avoid this unlike a thousand other littles before you didn't. 

 

3. When you do start looking for your partner, you need to have The Talk with him before claiming him as your Daddy. The Talk is all about compatibility. Don't listen to just things like him talking about you being sexy or attractive, or that he likes the same punishments you want, etc. What you need to do is find out is if you all are compatible. Every needs to do this, but rarely does everyone ever make sure yall can work outside the dynamic.

 

Do you want to be a 24/7 stay at home partner? Does he want that? Do you want to get an advanced degree and so school is a major part of your life for the next 4-8 years? What about location? Can you handle an LDR? What about a semi-LDR where you only see each other once a month? How about marriage, do you want that? Children, do you one day want children?

 

Do you even want a relationship that is deep enough that you have to worry about any and all of these?

 

Yes? No? Either way it is something you and partner need to discuss. Even if it is him or you going "Hey, I just kinda want a no-strings attached, no long-term committed play partner." And that is PERFECTLY VALID! But you just need to be honest. That way you can avoid all of the back and forth and disappointment you are now experiencing.

 

Your current Daddy doesn't even know what kind of little he wants, so how can you be his little when he doesn't even know what he likes?

 

4. Don't give yourself over to the first Daddy that may be potential. Really take the time to get to know the person. A good rule is to never call someone Daddy unless they prove they can even be your Daddy first. My Daddy was like this - he refused to call anyone Baby Girl, he told me that he wont call me that (early on) because he is saving it for his Forever Little. And I said the same thing with the name Daddy. These are good rules to have! They help wade through all the excitement and raging emotions and gives you a rope to hold onto so you don't go too fast.

 

All in all - it sounds like you both have a bit more research to do. And it sadly sounds like you two aren't compatible yet you are both trying to just make it work. Don't be complacent when you are unhappy, and neither should he.  Below are some of the pieces I have written that basically goes into everything about starting and understanding this kinda dynamic:

 

https://www.ddlgforu...thread-adapted/ (SFW) - the absolute basics that you need to consider in regards to who you are and what you want/can handle.

 

https://www.ddlgforu...-gratification/ (SFW) - explains why, especially in this community, time is a necessity and you need to be sure you take consideration in who you partner up with.

 

https://www.ddlgforu...d-to-be-single/ (SFW) - jumping right into a relationship will not help you figure out who you are in this community or what you may like. It does increase the risk of being hurt or manipulated as you are new. 

 

https://www.ddlgforu...-end-of-things/ (SFW) - this piece kinda breaks up the dynamic in a more understandable way. Do you like this as a kink and only in the bedroom, or do you want to live this every day, day in and day out and never break from it? This piece helps clear that up a bit.

 

https://www.ddlgforu...mean-powerless/ (SFW) - this is something every CG and Little needs to remember. It doesn't matter if you are a little, a sub, a pet, a brat, a whatever, if you are in a relationship where your partner assumes some sort of authority over you (even if it is just enforcing bedtime), you will ALWAYS have the right to say NO whenever you need and WANT to.

 

https://www.ddlgforu...ation-is-vital/ (SFW) - this is my most important piece. It explains how communication is literally the foundation of this dynamic and any relationship.

 

https://www.ddlgforu...-needs-to-stop/ (SFW) - this is my second most important piece. It goes into detail explaining how the term 'fake' is a plague in our community, when in reality what you are seeing (and those expectations people have of you) are incompatibility. 

 

Those are a few from my collection, but I have been told they are a great help to those just starting out. I wish you the very best and myself and a lot of people are always around if you ever have questions. 

[Little Illy]

Poor thing! You sit down you say look!!!!

 

"I am This, a Little, if you love me you will have to accept it. One way or another if it's what you are, in your heart they will have to accept and love you the way you are. If they want to participate, wonderful! If not then perhaps you will have to tell them you require an outside source to fill this!"

 

Do it seriously and make them a meal. It gets a man's attention. My ex lover finally got married after 4 years we haven't spoken. She is a Nymphomaniac and her husband openly accepts and lets her be it cause he knows that she will likely not succeed without him. Without him accepting it! He does and their relationship is working and that's not nearly as severe as a Little. A cutsie sweet angel...who just wants to be cared for OF COURSE finding a Platonic Daddy hmmm... Good luck Life is so complex why can't it be more simple?

 

Id like to point out that the "You have to love me and accept me for who I am or I will find someone else" is hella counter productive. Maybe if you wanna push someone away, but no one likes an ultimatum. How about asking why he isn't into the dynamic, what freaks him out, are there things he enjoys? Try to come to a happy medium. Not all or none. 

 

Communicate. Don't dictate.