what's the difference between ddlg and agere/chire?

[caramilkee]

I know they're different communities on tumblr but aside from that ddlg can be sexual (tho it doesn't have to be) and agere/chire is not, I don't really get how they are different?

 

any insight on this? much thanks in advance

[Guest Arc]

I'm not 100% sure and I'm just making assumptions here, but I'll list the main differences I can see. 

 

• DDLG, regardless of whether you are sexual or not, is a kink and is only for people 18+
• Age regression is not a kink. Anyone of any age can regress.
• DDLG is a lifestyle and/or a relationship dynamic. It is an overall label rather than a single act.
• Age regression is an act/ a thing you do.
• DDLG can involve regression, but does not have to. Not all littles regress, and do not regress all the time. 

 

DDLG is a kink, regression is not. Some people might have a kink for regression, but regression itself is not. DDLG can involve regression, but regression is its own thing too. ^^

[Little Illy]

Age Regression and Age Play are two very similar but very different headspaces to be in. Yet both can be different than CG/L. Both headspaces occur when a person mentally regresses to a certain age. This is very similar to a Little or Middlespace, however there Age Regression is seen as a separate headspace from CG/L altogether. There are people out there who Age Regress for therapeutic reasons and not for relationship or sexual reasons at all. Yet, there are plenty of CG/L members who do age regress both normally and sexually in their dynamic.

 

So what is the difference? Well, like Littlespace, Age Regression allows the person the slip away from the responsibilities of the day, but this is a more inclusive headspace. Think of the spectrum: age regression can happen to any age; infancy, toddlers, kids, teens, young adults, etc. But the general age regression doesn’t have a limit. Most Littles/Middles know their regressed age range. Mine is 3-5. Others are 0-3 and others still are 14-16. But general age regressors just regress. Yes they may have an age, but it isn’t needed as they focus more on the activities than the identity. Littles and Middles link their regression with their identity. [And yes, some general regressors do link their identity with their regression - there are always grey areas.]

 

And all of this is different to Age Play. Most people use Age Play as a sexual component, so I will explain that side of it here. Some people don’t want a CG/L dynamic, however they are turned on by the aesthetic (with an adult) enough to want Age Play. This is where you see the woman who wears a school girl uniform with pigtails and mary jane shoes. Or the man gives sexual commands to the woman in frame with her regression. There is a non-sexual side to Age Play, and the easiest way to explain it is a platonic session. The woman dresses up and the man watches over her as she does activities related to her (coloring, playing with dolls, etc).

 

Now, CG/L is a dynamic, as Arc said. CG/L is a lifestyle, a dynamic, a kink and a relationship all depending on the person and what they want. For example: Daddy and I want a life where we are in a Total Power Exchange 24/7 while I retain my little side for almost all the time we are home together. However, a lot of people only want "DDlg" in the bedroom. CG/L can easily exist without Age Regression, however most members of this community does regress in one way or another. It happens to be that most CG/L-ers will age regress, but most Age Regressors are actually not into CG/L - look online and see how many AR pages say they have a complete dissociation with us.

 

But all of these headspaces come down to one thing; the person is thinking/behaving/feeling like a younger age. Some people get so deep into their headspace that they cannot literally think their age until their regression is done or they are pulled from the space, one way or another. Yet some people get into regression just enough to want to dress like it and that is it. Whatever the reasons are, and no matter how deep they go, these headspaces allow people to function on a younger and less stressful level. And they are all valid. And of course, you never need to force yourself to be one part (lets say, CG/L) just because you are the other (an Age Regressor). They go hand and hand but they are not mandatory to go together nor are they mutually exclusive.

[xBabydollx]

To keep it simple for myself, I look at one as having a power exchange and the other does not.

 

DD/lg is a sub branch of Dominance/submission which involves a power exchange. Sexual or nonsexual, that power exchange is what qualifies it as a kink and part of BDSM which is 18+ exclusive.

 

Cg/l or the age regression community has no Dom. No sub. No power exchange. With Cg/l the little never 'has' to do what their caregiver says, there is no clear control/power play element mutually agreed upon (of which both ppl enjoy the core basis of giving and receiving control vs simply caring for someone). Many do not desire rules/punishments/structure, but simply to be taken care of in littlespace. Some age regressors don't even want a caregiver and are perfectly fine regressing on their own.

 

Like Lily mentioned, age play is something completely different than age regression. I see one as acting (ageplay) while the other is not (age regression).

 

Generally u will get different answers depending on different ppl's views of both communities.

[Little Illy]

Cg/l or the age regression community has no Dom. No sub. No power exchange. With Cg/l the little never 'has' to do what their caregiver says, there is no clear control/power play element mutually agreed upon (of which both ppl enjoy the core basis of giving and receiving control vs simply caring for someone). Many do not desire rules/punishments/structure, but simply to be taken care of in littlespace. Some age regressors don't even want a caregiver and are perfectly fine regressing on their own.

 

Generally u will get different answers depending on different ppl's views of both communities.

 

I would slightly disagree with this aspect - almost every CG/L couple I have known has some element of a D/s or in other words, a power exchange. D/s is a MASSIVE spectrum. If you just go to bed when Daddy says and that is the ONLY thing Daddy says, it is still a power exchange, because you are giving him your power to decide when it is best for you to go to bed.

 

You did put the golden element tho - every person is different and every dynamic, action and expectations change accordingly. It could simply be that I have witnessed way more CG/L couples with D/s than you and vice versa. Everything is relative to the person's experience (which is really cool, xBabydollx, and I am glad you have seen things differently than me) and so everything is subjective.

 

But at the end of the day any element of any dynamic is what you make of it. I LOVE the D/s and Total Power Exchange in my age regression and my personal DDlg relationship with my Daddy, my Owner and my Dom. But, as xBabydollx said, a lot of people do not care for a Dom let alone an owner or D/s. So you can literally take elements that appeal to you, screw off the titles and "what should happen" in these dynamics and fit them for your own needs.

 

Example:

 

You can be an age regressor with Dom, not even a Daddy, and call him Sir.

You can be a little because you loved being cared for, but you don't regress.

You can be vanilla yet love age play but get creeped out if your partner calls you 'Daddy' outside of the bedroom.

 

Everyone borrows aspects of different dynamics they find appealing; BDSM, ABDL, CG/L, Master/Slave, Owner/Pet, Power Exchange, Inherent Caring, Rules, Encouragement of Bratty Behavior, Sex, Sessions, Nonsexual... anything! We can give you the stereotypical mold of each role of those dynamics, but you will rarely find someone who fits that mold to a T. What happens is a person finds which elements they enjoy, keep those and toss the rest.

 

I am a little but I HATE glitter, pink, MLP, Barbies, and the assumption I am a 'good kitten' (as I am a puppy). So I leave those 'typical' elements of being a little out of my life. I am still a little, but I am just Myself as My little.

 

So if you don't see the difference, for you, there might not be one. Of course this is different for everyone, but there are so many titles, labels, expectations, stereotypes, etc for these things that you shouldn't get bogged down in "what should be" or "supposedly" and just focus on what resonates with you personally. 

[xBabydollx]

I said, 'there is no clear control/power play element mutually agreed upon' specifically, because with DD/lg and D/s in general, it requires consent and the person is fully aware and verbally agrees to submitting to someone/taking control of someone (and yes D/s is a wide spectrum as the amount of control varies person to person). It is always clear tho, all parties are fully aware of the power play, and verbally consents to it. A person can never 'think' they're submitting to someone, or 'think' they are in control of someone. No matter the actions the person does that would make the partner 'think' such a thing. BDSM is always clear because consent is required. There is never a power exchange in the realms of BDSM, when it isn't mutually acknowledged and agreed upon by both parties. I couldn't' imagine someone thinking they had control of me, or thinking we had a D/s dynamic when I never clearly agreed to it. Just like an old 60's wife who does everything their husband said...it's never D/s or a power exchange when it was never acknowledged as such or consented to. My take anyway and I have come across many littles and Daddies who do not acknowneldge or accept the things they do as a form of power play or D/s. Caregiving yes, but not D/s. That lack of agreement/consent to a power exchange, is what makes those littles/daddies different from those in DD/lg who acknowledges and desires it specifically.

 

It's hard to see it the way u do, when I come across daddies who hates the idea of being explicitly in control, and littles who have no desires to truly give their control away either. Not to be confused with actions that are done for the greater good of someone/caregiving where the ppl do not enjoy the core basis of giving and receiving control (the power exchange), but rather simply taking care of someone/being taken care of and only that. A power exchange is just like anything else a person can identify as having/being a part of...it isn't there if it isn't acknowledged as such and many in Cg/l do not acknowledge it or desire it speficially where as those in DD/lg do. For some of them it's just like being that wife in the 60's lol, and I just don't see that as a power exchange in the BDSM sense, but in a more vanilla sense of something like a parent who is in control and the child who isn't...sure that could be considered a sort of power exchange, but that's if looking at the word traditionally (of which many do not in this lifestyle).