How do I find a punishment that works.

[Amare]

Sometimes my little gets really hard to handle, she will tease me and intentionally break rules to get me worked up, and when I try to say something for a punishment like "If you don't stop then no cuddles or kisses" she will say she doesn't care and continue on.

 

It's a LDR. I just can't think of a way to get her to listen to me, idk if that just means I'm a bad daddy, or what. I feel like I should be able to handle my little but it's tough. 

It feels like sometimes, nothing I do gets through to her.

[baby_k]

Simple: ask her.

 

There is playful bratty and then there is bratty behaviour which comes from deeper issues or needs. I don't think punishment is the best way to deal with what you are facing but to understand WHY she acts as she does ( and maybe what she is looking to happen ). Then you can figure what to do.

 

Like personally I can be ( bit ) bratty but it is playful and I either seek to entertain myself+daddy OR I'm after some punishment/funishment as I feel I want one. But if I'm really bratty and he can't get through me at all, it is more like tantrum really, not real brattiness. Normally means that I have not got enough attention or that he has hurt my feelings in some minor way, and it comes out like that. Not constructive maybe but my daddy has found ways to work through that anyhow.

[xBabydollx]

It's possible that she isn't into rules/structure/punishments; things of that sort. Not every little desires those things and not everyone knows it isn't mandatory. It's also possible she is pushing and pushing for a specific reaction. Have the 2 of u discussed punishments before? Find out what punishments she is ok with accepting. She is not an actual child, so there is no reason to play guessing games when she can easily give u a solution by communicating her desires and limitations. Another thing to consider is follow through...when u tell her she will be punished, do u actually do it? Every time? As the caregiver one must be consistent or it can lead to a road of lack of respect. Speaking of respect, it is also possible she may not have none for u or the dynamic u are trying to build. When a person no longer cares about something, or isn't willing to try to offer solutions to problems, it is the biggest sign of a lack of interest or effort in a relationship. Communication is the only thing that will solve this. Care and effort from the both of u is the only way it will be reached.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

it sounds like there is major miscommunication here.

are you punishing her because you are frustrated with her behavior, or because you think that's what she wants?

if you are genuinely upset by her behavior, it's time to have a serious sit down & talk about how what she's doing isn't fun for you.

 

this is still a dynamic at the end of the day, & you're both still adults.

she doesn't just get to behave whatever way she wants & leave you pulling out your hair in frustration.

she isn't a literal child & should be able to understand that her behavior is stressing you out. 

 

now, if this is a play dynamic, i completely agree with the above answers.

ask her.

if being bratty & disobeying is an enjoyable part of the play for you both, you should definitely take the time to talk about when it's no longer fun

& what repercussions should come from that. 

 

if she isn't willing to work with you & find a way that this is enjoyable for both of you, then what's the point? 

good luck & always remember to communicate! 

[Amare]

Thanks for the answers guys. That's what I'll do then. I'll sit down and talk with her tonight about things.

[Guest SifuTheWolf]

There is playful brattiness and then there is willful disobedience, my babygirl is playfully bratty most of the time and usually only "brats'up" when she isn't getting what she wants from me, 9 times out of 10 its not enough attention. I do not punish my baby for playfully bratty behavior but wilful disobedience is delt with swiftly and consistently. Since my babygirl is a masochist the normal punishments that most Daddies use won't work. It has taken me a long time to figure out what does and what doesn't work for our dynamic.There are no quick and easy answers, don't beat yourself up over not knowing what the answers are, they will come in time. But as others here have said,the key to it all is in open, honest and frequent communication.