ddlg breakup harder than 'vanilla' breakup?

[Guest lilprincess1703]

so its been over a week since my daddy broke up with me, and i feel like this is hitting me a lot harder than any other break up ive had? 

 

Is this a ddlg thing, or the other circumstances in my life affecting me? 

 

Would be interested to hear other people's thoughts on this! 

 

 

[Kirito24315]

It's got to do with the fact that there was a bond between you 2. It was same for me when my little ended it with me. I didnt wanna do anything at all. Life was really depressing. But yeah its definitely more of a DDLG thing

[Guest DaddyyJay]

Been a week for me as well since my little and I ended things

Now everything we use to do I've just lost interest in doing

Can't even begin to think what she feels

Hard to feel like a daddy but trying to move on because thinking of it makes me more depressed

[Guest DuckDaddy66]

Been around a while and been kicked to the curb plenty of times and I had to make choices too, all break ups are hard.  I will never breakup as a Daddy to my little (going to marry her) but I do have some good advice:

 

1) Take stock of your own situation and learn what you can

2) The universe will bring people together for one, the other, or both persons benefit. 

3) Once those lessons are learn, the tear down is awfully fast. 

4) If you loved that person, that love will never end. Respect that. 

5) Take time to rest from that relationship.  And if you do find an other, distractions are nice but do understand it takes time to heal 

[LittleGirlEmilia]

It's definitely worse than a vanilla relationship break up. I feel like because of our dynamic there's a lot more trust involved and communication than a normal relationship. I wasn't with my first daddy long but it hurt more than the previous relationship I was in, which was a long term serious relationship.

[Guest AMS23]

I agree with Barbie here. It’s harder to lose a daddy than vanilla guy. Edited August 25, 2018 by AMS23

[Guest CollateralBeauty]

I think any relationship can hurt when things are broken off. We invest a lot of ourselves into our relationships. We give the other person our time, trust, patience, etc.. We basically give the other person a piece of ourselves and hope they will take care of it. So it will always hurt when a relationship is broken.

[Little Illy]

In my opinion, the Caregiver/Little dynamic is one of the most intimate. It can honestly be broken down by social standards or even psychology to show that, yeah, you can be hit harder with a DDlg break up:

 

Vanilla Relationships: You are responsible for all of the normal stuff, but at the same time a majority of vanilla relationships aren’t complicated. At least when compared to dynamic based relationships. You have compatibility, communication, loyalty, trust, and growth. All the staples of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

 

Kink Relationship: A kink based relationship, even as a lifestyle dynamic, automatically requires more in general. Kinks are vast and fluid and finding a partner is automatically more difficult. For this type, you have to find someone who is intrinsically more compatible than a vanilla relationship because of the diversity of kinks out there. BSDM, CG/l, M/s, D/s, Owner/Pet, and so on. This are added to the regular hunt of compatibility with ethics, education, career, marital, etc. And then you have the extra added necessity for trust due to the sheer nature of the relationship. A person runs the risk of serious slander to their identity depending on the kink the relationship is based off of. Or a person simply doesn’t want others to know their kink. These partners literally have more power over each other, and not just in a dominant and submissive way. But in a “I know you like CNC or like to dress up as a toddler or enjoy being bruised or cut in sessions” light, we see how the trust needed for a partner would be incredibly higher just to divulge this personal preferences.

 

[Here, “Kink” doesn’t mean a fetish or desire for the a sexual component. It simply means the other lifestyle dynamics that are based either in kink or considered a kink in of itself. I understand a kink can be full identity and I in no way mean to devalue someone or their stance.]

 

Caregiver/Little Relationship: The CG/L or (DDlg for some) dynamic takes everything from the kink based, but then it adds the intimacy that is specifically found in DDlg. I won’t sit here and say that other kink based relationships don’t form an incredibly deep bond, but DDlg, in my opinion, takes that one to another level. Of course many people identify with many things, but in this lifestyle, you are literally saying “I want to be with my Daddy, someone who will care for me and allow me to regress (or be in little space)” - a caregiver is a different type of ‘top’ because it is a more gentle and inherently based in the need to give *care* versus just giving orders, commands, rituals, and/or sessions/fantasies fulfilled. Undeniably, care is given in most relationships, but CG/l escalates that. Think about it, what dynamic has a partner enjoy changing dirty nappies?

 

*In My Opinion* CG/l is the most intimate because it just reaches a point other dynamics simply do not. Then again I am wholly biased and also realize that not all catergorized relationships fit their moods. Some vanilla relationships are more rewarding, connected and successful than a lot of DDlg attempts I’ve seen on the forum alone. But, when successfully think this dynamic is the closest and therefore the hardest when you break up.

 

This of course is all my opinion. I am not saying when you and your partner feel that amazing spark you are devalued if you’re not in a CG/L relationship. Not at all. Because I know scores of other dynamics who are fulfilled and lovingly together. But as a Sub, a Pet and a Little, I feel like I am my most vulnerable in little form (as I have heard countless others say), which is why I feel this dynamic requires more emphasis on care and connection vs kink and rules.