Unsure & Confused

[daddys.little0girl]

I'm in the process of getting a divorce from my daddy of 3 years... This is the first time I'm dating within the DD/LG / BDSM community.. I have been talking to this guy for a few weeks now & we've done a few scenes & spent a few days with me in little space & him being daddyish with me. Problem is that when I called him daddy he said that I was supposed to call him sir & that he saves daddy for when he's in a relationship with the little... Which I was fine with I was sure he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend soon anyways... He would call me all the time, say he loved hearing my voice, would talk about anything & everything...  Though once when I came over he kinda seemed like he did.. things.. with someone else before I came over.. Also since I've called him daddy he's been a little distant with me, he no longer calls me, only texts me, I've been to his house a few times since then but he doesn't do the same things as before, seems a little less into it... I really like this guy a lot, even just talking to him like adults I really like him.. Thing is I'm afraid he changed his mind & doesn't want to say anything to me in fear of hurting my feelings or something like that... I know I probably got attached way to early into this especially since we aren't officially together yet, I'm not used to being alone, especially since I discovered my little side; I REALLY don't like not having a daddy.. How should I bring up the questions I have for him without seeming annoying? I'm afraid every time I text him first I"m annoying or that when I respond I"m saying something wrong.. I'm not sure if it's because of how my last relationship ended I'm being paranoid or if there's actually something wrong.. 

[xBabydollx]

Im hearing a lot of assumptions on ur end. u assumed he was going to ask u to be his gf soon, and u say that u guys aren't officially together 'yet' and so Im curious as to what lead u to believe a gf was what he wanted from u or a serious little? Was this something the two of u discussed beforehand? (That u both possibly desired a gf/bf dynamic or to enter a serious DD/LG dynamic if things went well). It's possible that he may have only wanted a casual thing with DD/lg play/scenes (even if he truly does like u). I say this because for one, u think he's been playing around with someone else possibly. Secondly, as soon as u called him Daddy he felt the need to reel things in (not to mention that he made a point to correct u which is good that he did). Im glad u are able to see a discussion is needed so the two of u can get on the same page. I would suggest doing it face to face if possible. If not, make sure it is during a time when u are both free and not in a position to be distracted. Let him know u want to talk about y'all future and that u wish to know what is his expectations for y'all (is he looking for u to be his gf one day? Is he considering the prospect of u being his little instead of just a play partner?). Let him know what is ur desires and expectations as well. It seems clear to me that u want a serious commitment from him at some point in the DD/lg realm and vanilla world. Find out if he want the same things. When u find out if he does or doesn't, then u can make a final decision.

[Guest amberhatch82]

I completely agree with xBabydollx, you two need to have a sit down (face-to-face) and have a serious discussion. It's important to be on the same page so there is no future misunderstanding on what ya'll dynamics is. 

[Guest Aetherr]

I'm hearing an awful lot of insecurity coming from you, now if any of it is warranted or not is nothing to do with me. I can say this, you sound uncomfortable with yourself. You say you hate being alone and you also seem really reliant on being able to call someone "daddy" even if he has done something with other people. I don't get the impression you two are an item yet, if that is what you want you should consider taking things into your own hands and talk to him, tell him how you feel about wanting to be exclusive. How you consider him your daddy and how you feel about how he has been acting because unless you tell him he will not know and if you don't say anything he will likely assume you are okay with things as they are.

 

Talk to him but be ready to accept that he may have other ideas about whatever you two have. Especially if he has been physical with other people.

 

Another piece of advice that has been thrown around and i personally know to be true is jumping from relationships is not healthy. You need to be sure of yourself and what you want you also need that time to clean the slate of your on perceptions and demands, especially the ones your old partner built up and/or encouraged.

 

It's also okay to be with someone without having the big exclusivity talk.

 

Consider:

Spending a few weeks alone to process your needs/wants if you feel too dependent on a daddy then spend some time single and learn to be your own person

if you want a relationship with exclusivity tell him but don't expect him to want the same thing based on what you have said about him

 

 

good luck figuring it out!

Edited August 24, 2018 by Aetherr

[neworder]

assuming no outside forces are at play.... your description makes him seem either 1) uninterested (no guts to tell you the truth) or 2) he feels rushed - but is open to you two one day being an item. let me guess, he was ok to rush to sex with no problem?

 

since the smartphone dating app was invented, the paradigm of assuming monogamy is obsolete; assume non-monogamy until you both agree to it explicitly. 

 

now if you go bringing up 'here are my relationship expectations' speech with him... if he's #1 your speech is pointless. if he's #2, he's going to feel under even more relationship rushing/pressure 

 

and there's scenario #3, #4, #5 to infinity, especially if there are outside forces (he's got someone already, he's going for a bedpost notch count, etc)

 

you could chill out, stop thinking about the relationship, put the 'labels' away in a dresser drawer, and just enjoy his company (if it is enjoyable)...