Two extreams

[Appleslice]

My “little” side and “big” side are intertwined I can’t seem shake one off. This is something I’ve excepted for the most part.

So for example when I’m in store and see they have stuffies I think “holy fuck they have stuffies” and sometimes I get down over it because it’s not exactly cute, so I worry. what kinda daddy wants a little who can’t seem be fully Little even when doing little activities? I feel too big.

But, after some time I’m tell myself I’m being silly and that there’s a daddy who wants a little who may be a bit of mixed bag.

But then there are the parts of me that are very little I always been interested in abdl play because of the intimacy of the caregiving involved. But when I’m done day dreaming about being somebodies baby girl. My mind goes back to that space. the kinda daddy who would put up with your type would never want to age play. And then I feel too little.

So one could see the problem one minute I feel like I’m too big and the next I feel like I’m too little. And when I get in this battle between too exstreams feel like it’s hoplsss. Like I’m cursed to die alone. It gets really Scary and I’ve beebn having this feeling for days now.

Is there any one else who struggles with this?Any advice?

Edited August 1, 2018 by Appleslice

[Frog]

I can't help much, as I'm not a little. But as a big/cg/daddy, there are times when I struggle with this, too. I'm physically larger than most of my friends, so when a female friend has a minor breakdown or cries or acts slightly little, I have to stop myself from acting like a daddy. I have to hold back and be a regular friend. When I'm not feeling like a daddy type, I feel boring.

[xBabydollx]

I can't say I "struggle" with any of this. Sometimes I feel little. Sometimes I feel big. Thus is life. There is all kinds of Daddies out there who likes various types of littles/ppl. Many Daddies enjoy a mix of big and little time. Whenever I've felt really "young" or little, the Daddy adjusted and enjoyed it. If I felt like a middle, they adjusted and enjoyed it. If I felt big and wanted to have deep discussions about whatever, they adjusted and enjoyed it. A lot of Daddies are adjustable and like more than 1 type or more than 1 thing. Many ppl enjoy some variety. There is someone out there looking for someone just like u.

[Little Illy]

I would reckon a guess that you have an Alpha streak, even if it isn't dominant. Your big side could easily be your predominant side which is why it is so hard to be fully little.

 

I know this because I have a massively dominant Alpha Streak. So much so that in the past 6 months Daddy and I haven't been able to be "in" our dynamic 24/7 because of my streak. There has been so much stress that we have almost been a vanilla couple - I call him Daddy and everything and I whine like a puppy, but for a majority, it is my Alpha side that is present. Alpha sides vary in degree and because of this, you just need to find a Daddy who loves your type of Alpha (if you have this side). Do you naturally take control? Do you swear, do you have a hard to submitting, do you not enjoy the frilly little aesthetic? Maybe your little is actually a middle? Maybe that is why it is so hard to fall into deep LittleSpace. A lot of Middles and Brats have Alpha sides to them. 

 

Or, you simply enjoy being "big" just as much or maybe even more than being little. AND THAT IS OKAY!

 

There is no "getting over" this as some people would have you believe. What you need to do is to actually learn to live with it in a positive light. You like to go "Fuck yeah that is so goddamn cute!!!" then do it! Find a Daddy that will go "I know baby, its the fucking best, isn't it!?" I know it is very, very, very disheartening to see some of the other littles - those that in your head is the ideal; they are cute and kawaii and little and loves being that way 24/7 and they get the attention and praise of being the "Right" kind of little. And so on. I feel that pain, because I still live with that feeling. 

 

It wasn't until I convinced myself I am a Perfect Little.  Hold on, I didn't say THE perfect little, I said A perfect little. Why? Because I am, and so are you. When littles start distorting what they love and how they act to fit a stereotype, they lose who they are. I never encourage anyone to do this. What I do encourage is understanding that there is no need to change yourself. I have, in my opinion, a severe outlier of a  Little side - I don't "do" all the "normal" little things, and on top of being a little I am a sub, a puppy, a Domme, an Alpha and Primal. I am not a kitten, I hate pink, I over-sexualize my little space, I adore taboo encounters, I hate MLP, Paw Patrol or Barbie... I am not your typical little - but I am perfect for me and for my Daddy.

 

You are just a little who isn't little all the time and then has multiple triggers for Littlespace. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

I would recommend reading the following as they may help you come to terms with the fact that you don't have anything wrong with you and that you most certainly wont die alone. Just be honest with yourself and you will find an honest partner who enjoys those parts of you:

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23301-fake-it-needs-to-stop/ (SFW) - This goes in depth on how you shouldn't feel the need to fit a standard to be a little.

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/28037-communication-is-vital/ (SFW) - This is important in the realest way; if you are upfront and honest with how your headspaces switch, and communicate that to your partner, then you will have a higher success rate of finding the perfect partner.

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12897-ddlg-the-serious-end-of-things/ (SFW) - This can explain how maybe you aren't meant to be Little all the time (AND THAT IS OKAY!!!). Maybe this part of yourself isn't as consistent as you thought it was, maybe you prefer your little side to play and relax instead of living it every day as a 24/7 lifestyle.

 

If you have any questions, I am always here to help, if you ever want!

[Appleslice]

Wow I’m at a loss for words, that’s actually pretty perfect. I’ll be giving what u said lots of thought.

Thank u so much Illy!

[baby_k]

Also consider: would you go and try to change yourself so that you would fit some random (daddies') stereotype? Be something you are not? Mimic the behavior and being of someone else as for some reason you think it is more valid than what you are? I doubt you would really change into anyhting else than what you truly are even if you would try -and all that change would be nothing but superimposed act.

 

You are you. No one else can do that. So, don't be copycat but the best version of you, original you.

[SweetPlum]

Have you considered perhaps, right now you are more fitting to be a middle instead of a little?  

[Guest Alt.Pan]

Saaaame girl same. I consider myself a baby girl (which is another bdsm/ddlg dynamic) because I have little aspects ingrained in my big side. I’m obsessed with cuddly creatures (I try to go to Petco at least twice a week to see the ferrets and guinea pigs ) and I’m a hopeless optimistic, cuddler, and kind of have an oral fixation... now that I’m done blabbing. I would say being a little like yourself is normal. Different aspects of somebody’s personality manifest in different ways. Some littles are little only during age play and some are always a bit little. No worries! Edited August 4, 2018 by Alt.Pan