Helpies! I’m at my last breaking point:(

[Little_lauren]

My daddy and I don’t see each other a lot, when in reality, we should. We only live 30 minutes away from each other, yet I only see him once a month maybe. We work but normally have the same days off. I try to make plans but he always turns them down, saying that he just wants to rest or play videogames. The rest part I get but the videogames makes me feel like they are more important. I’ve asked him if I’ve been doing something wrong, he says no and then switches the topic, which leads me to think I am. We get into fights over it and I always end up crying over it and nothing ever gets fixed. It hurts me more than ever because I need the physicality of cuddling and kissing to reenssure that everything is okay. I’ve communicated this to him and he says “I’m living my life like this so I can be happy. If you don’t like it, then I don’t know what to tell you.” Which breaks me wittle heart:( I just want to see my daddy but I don’t know how to fix this. I was wondering if anyone else has had this problem and/or advice to what I need to do. Thank you in advance

[Guest You're adorable.]

Oh well....

 

To me, this sounds like this person has zero interest in deepening and building your relationsip and taking it to "a new level". Also this shows me that he is just brushing off every problem that might arise and is completely disinterested in solving them.

 

Relationship is something that needs at least two people. And the only way really to solve anything or to fix anything in it is with communication. I know it sounds simple, when in fact, fir some it might be the most difficult thing. Especially if the other side has no interest in it. You two seem to have very different expectations when it comes to your relationship and unless you make your point to him, it will stay that way.

 

Also, the sentence “I’m living my life like this so I can be happy. If you don’t like it, then I don’t know what to tell you.”, for me means this: "I have you around just to satify my needs, and I have no care about what you need or want." Honestly, I don't think this is something I would ever say to anyone, let alone my partner.

 

I can't really give you advice on how to fix this, since your daddy is unwilling to even try to fix this. Or, to be more precise, from his selfish point of view, there is nothing wrong to begin with. He doesn't see you as an equal, he sees you just as a tool for satisfying his needs. And I think it's up to you to realize that and also it's up to you to make it very clear to him that unlike a videogame, you have also your own needs, your own expectations, your own ideas about relationship, your own dreams. Don't suffer just so he could live his carefree life.

 

You are not a tool, you are a person.

[xBabydollx]

He wants to spend his free time resting, playing video games, etc as those are the things that make him happy. His words. If he can't make room for u in his life, and not willing to give up (occasionally) the things that make him happy, then that should tell u everything. It's not like he doesn't know u want more time, he just doesn't care enough to give u that time/make sacrifices for u, so there is nothing that can be fixed. He will not make more time for u when he is happy and content without u. u can either accept the little bit of time he is willing to give u, or find someone wno desires to give u the sort of time and attention u need. Don't wait around expecting him to change, because he made it clear to u that he is living this way so he can be happy, and if u don't like it then oh well basically (he doesn't plan to make any accomadations for u). Besides, a Daddy should desire ur company just as much as u desire his...and this one doesn't. Nothing can ever be fixed when 1 person is content with the current situation. It's not a problem for him, only for u.

[Guest Bedtime-Stories]

Hi little Lauren. I read your request for help and I would really like to put my input in if that's ok? I always believe in following your gut. If you feel there is something wrong with the situation the best thing to do is always communicate your thoughts with your daddy. If he is not willing to listen and be patient and allow you to stress your feelings then it is not you that's doing something wrong. To be a proper caregiver one must always have the patience to listen to their littles needs and concerns. That effort must be put in and that communication must be strong. Do not let yourself feel like you are the one at fault here. You are doing everything you can to show him how much you need him. If he doesn't have the time and patience to be in a dedicated ddlg relationship and take care of even your most general needs then maybe he should not be in the role as caregiver. I'm not telling you to break up with him Lauren but I think giving him an ultimatum might be the way to go. Let him know that your needs are not being met in this relationship and if he does not start putting you above his video games then soon he may realize that he has lost you to them. *hugs* I wish you the best and if you need anyone to talk to my door is always open.

[Little Illy]

Also, the sentence “I’m living my life like this so I can be happy. If you don’t like it, then I don’t know what to tell you.”, for me means this: "I have you around just to satify my needs, and I have no care about what you need or want." Honestly, I don't think this is something I would ever say to anyone, let alone my partner.

 

 

As YA has said, this dude obviously has no care for you. If everything you have said is true - then you are there for whatever pleasure or desire he wishes. You are like a video game he plays for amusement. I am sorry to sound harsh, but that is what all of that is sounding like. 30 minutes away and maybe just once a month? He is quite blatantly telling you he isn't interested in anything more than what he has, nor the work required in a real relationship.

 

I suggest you just cut him off. If you have tried extensively to communicate with him, stop beating your head against a brick wall. THIS is a FAKE Daddy - and yall know how I hate calling people fake. But his intentions are in his actions, or lack thereof. 

 

There are scores of men out there who are compatible with you and will happily engage with you in a real relationship. I know it hurts now, but use this dude as a lesson learned and move on to greater and much better things.

[DaddysHands]

If he were an hour away..or if it was even once a week..but simple point is even in a vanilla relationship that wouldn't fly. Nuff said...

 

However, as mentioned previously, the word fake is harsh but I have had fake subs and littles that acted the same. Even if you don't believe in the original dom/sub dynamic that started DDlg his behavior is that of a person who only has their own interest in mind, he said so himself. This doesnt take a chapter worth of words no matter how you look at it, it's toxic, so do what's right for you.

[Guest SUeB]

Sorry, but how obvious does he need to make it? He has zero interest in this so called relationship. Move on.

[Frog]

If he wants to be happy with video games, then let him be happy with his games. He seems to not want you, so let his games comfort and cuddle him from now on.

[James.]

I don't play games as much as I used to, due to lack of time and less interest/other things being more important. That being said, I do play from time to time with old friends and I did ask my little if she'd want to play one day despite her not being a gamer in any sense of the word. Perhaps it's because I do not take them so seriously anymore, and therefore don't mind if she isn't any good, but my main point is that if he really wished to share a deep and meaningful relationship with you, he'd look for ways to share his interests with you as well. I assume you'd be more than happy to join him whether you typically play or not, or at the very least just share the time with him even if he's playing and you're just watching. His excuse doesn't make any sense, and I agree with the prevailing opinion that he's not serious about your relationship. You seem to be someone who is very serious about the relationships you're in, so I'd suggest finding someone else who feels the same.

Edited July 24, 2018 by James.

[Maarloeve]

DTMFA

 

dump the mother fucker already

[OceanPaintr]

If you're a good little then you deserve a great daddy. He isn't

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

DTMFA

dump the mother fucker already

Savage. Fuck yeah.

[Fading Kitten]

i'd leave

[VanillaAlpaca]

Your problem seems to be quite serious and, more important than that it's hurting you.

 

I agree with most of people who says that you should to cut him off ((´д`)) yes, it is going to hurt you more than his indifference, but at least you can overcome it. If you stay at his side, you are going to be waiting the scenario to change when clearly he has no interest on it  ε-(´・｀) that's going to destroy you...

 

My own daddy is a huge fan of videogames as well, while I am more about Pokémon and just that — of course, I am not always playing with him but he introduced me to some games to play online, together, and also he surprises me sometimes showing me visually beautiful games or games with interesting stories to watch while he plays. We bound about things he likes, and about things I like as well. But he isn't lifting a finger for you, so I would recommend to let him alone with his videogames ಠ╭╮ಠ

 

Here you have a friend to talk if you need to (づ￣ ³￣)づ okay? Cheer up!

[Guest Kerjin]

My daddy and I don’t see each other a lot, when in reality, we should. We only live 30 minutes away from each other, yet I only see him once a month maybe. We work but normally have the same days off. I try to make plans but he always turns them down, saying that he just wants to rest or play videogames. The rest part I get but the videogames makes me feel like they are more important. I’ve asked him if I’ve been doing something wrong, he says no and then switches the topic, which leads me to think I am. We get into fights over it and I always end up crying over it and nothing ever gets fixed. It hurts me more than ever because I need the physicality of cuddling and kissing to reenssure that everything is okay. I’ve communicated this to him and he says “I’m living my life like this so I can be happy. If you don’t like it, then I don’t know what to tell you.” Which breaks me wittle heart:( I just want to see my daddy but I don’t know how to fix this. I was wondering if anyone else has had this problem and/or advice to what I need to do. Thank you in advance

 

I know that a lot of people have weighed in on this, so let me add my voice to this thread.....

 

Seriously?  He lives 30 minutes away from his little and he'd rather "rest" and play video games than spend time with her?  Is this for real? Are there really people like this in this space?

 

Personally, I can't believe it. In my case, I live 16 hours away from my little and would give my right eye teeth to live 30 minutes away from her, hell even to live 4 to 6 hours away from her. If I lived 30 minutes away from my little and I truly was a Daddy, I'd spend every moment I could with her IRL. Every. Moment. True story.

 

MAJOR Red Flag Alert - "I’m living my life like this so I can be happy. If you don’t like it, then I don’t know what to tell you."

 

Sorry, this may get unreadable. I'm stupified. How in the ever-loving **** can anyone who claims to be a Daddy or a Caregiver say something like that to his/her little? WTF? Seriously? little_lauren, you need to GO! Now!! Do not pass Go, do not collect $200 dollars, move on and find your Real Daddy. Seriously. This sounds more like a lazy-assed twenty-something entitled peice of *$ ^$*(*&^ %#$*@& $#@(&^$%*& than a Daddy/Mommy/Caregiver.  In My Not So Humble Opinion.

 

I know it's hard sweetheart and the pain will be tuff, but you can do it, we've got your back!!!

Edited July 28, 2018 by Kerjin