Unsure

[Guest Princess Lonewolf]

Over the last few days I've felt extremely isolated. Generally this feeling doesn't happen when I'm talking with my Daddy, but....it does now and I don't know what to do about it. It's hard for me to talk to him based on my past. That and there has been times in the past that he hasn't even bothered to listen to what I have to say. I'm not sure what to do and feel like I'm loosing a vital part of me. Could use advise.

[SammyBear17]

Oh dear I have the same exact issue sometimes due to my past caregivers not caring whatsoever. My advice is and this may sound a little harsh to put your past behind you and to talk with your daddy. Right now that may sound like the worst thing to do but, it'll help I promise!   

[Quirkygrl16]

I know how hard it is to open up. I have been hurt a lot in the past, so when my daddy asks what's wrong I tend to say 'nothing.' Im working very hard on opening up. I've at least started telling him if I feel sad. I say ' I'm feeling a bit blegh today'. That usually opens up dialogue to talk a little more. If you need someone to talk, I'm here

[Guest LittleMapleBear]

When you don't communicate with your partner, when you can't be vulnerable with them, you are doing them a great disservice, and not honouring the dynamic you have with them.

 

How can they be the best caregiver they can be to you if you are withholding information?  I understand that being vulnerable can be scary, but if you can't be vulnerable with someone who loves you, only wants the best for you, wants to care for your and protect you, then I would ask, who can you be vulnerable with?

 

As for your partner(s) not listening - I would suggest the following: 1. Is it possible they are listening and you just don't like their response or answer because it's not what you wanted or expected to hear?  We don't get to dictate how someone will respond to what they say, we don't control them.  2. Is it possible they have heard what you have to say, and are processing it?  If you're asking for some sort of change, change in relationship takes time - you can't expect things to be as perfect as you would like them to be overnight.  3. Have you really highlighted to your partner the importance or gravitas of what you are saying?  If you throw something out as your partner is falling asleep one night, it really wouldn't surprise me if they brushed it off - it could be they didn't even hear you.  Have you thought about sitting down and highlighting what you have to say, and how it is affecting your dynamic?

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope things are better for you.

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

there has been times in the past that he hasn't even bothered to listen to what I have to say.

Not okay.

 

Either he doesn't care or he doesn't realize you have something important to say. If it is the first one, dump the mofo. If it is the second one, that is something you can work on.

Edited July 22, 2018 by Sachita

[Guest Princess Lonewolf]

Not okay.

 

Either he doesn't care or he doesn't realize you have something important to say. If it is the first one, dump the mofo. If it is the second one, that is something you can work on.

Thank you for actually reading the whole post, first and foremost. With my Daddy it's not that he doesn't care it has more to do with everyone walking away from him. He is working on his issues with me and I have been trying really hard to talk to him. He knows that I have issues talking about my past and has been giving me suggestions on how to improve this. One of the suggestions he's made is to make posts in one of our private groups on Facebook, it helps with some of the things I need to express, however, he also remembers that there have been people who are trying to rip us apart by any and all means even hacking his Facebook account (had to change it 5 times now) and have been acting like him, saying hurtful things including that I would be better off dead....he knows this scares me and that it's the main reason I can't really talk to him. I should have said in my post that we're ldr so sitting down and talking with him face-to-face is impossible.