Jealousy

[Guest Babytitan]

How do you deal with jealousy

 

I’m kinda hurting right now as someone who was my friend first has started ignoring me more and talking to another little who was super mean to me and even cheated on her Dom and tried blaming it on me, she even took over a group I made and started saying things about me to other people and has now mde another group with just her another little and him to be “siblings” in

 

How do I deal with this cause it hurts

[Guest QueenJellybean]

i'm so sorry you're feeling this way! 

jealousy can be a really tricky emotion to deal with. i'm not sure that my advice has any bearing here, but being a member of a polyamorous community, i have a lot of experience managing that ugly, green, little monster. 

 

i try to sit with my jealousy & ask it to tea. 

it sounds like a silly concept, i know, but it always works for me to try & get to know my feelings of jealousy. 

why am i feeling this way? 

what am i lacking that i perceive others have? 

what can i do to fulfill that need, regardless of who is involved? 

 

for you, the answers to these questions might be a lot easier than someone navigating the waters of multiple relationships, but the momentum remains the same. 

it sounds like you are hurt because someone you cared about is treating you poorly, & you are envious of the relationship they now have with another person. 

you wish it could be you. 

 

i think this is not necessarily a jealousy issue, but a mix of envy & deep hurt. 

you want this person to treat you better, which is a valid emotional response, but not something that you can do anything about. 

that's just them being scummy & mean & i wish i had better advice for that other than trying to remember that a real friend wouldn't treat you that way. 

but, the part of that you can fix -- the envy -- is unrelated to the specific person at all. 

it sounds like you want a relationship like the one your former friend has with their new one. 

 

so, go out & meet new people! 

make new friendships! 

make your own group & be better then those who have hurt you by rising above!

& remember that not everyone will treat you the way that others have in the past. 

 

good luck! 

[Sleepless]

Honestly these people don't sound like friends AT ALL. I think, that being as they're online friends, you'd do best to cut the whole lot of them out of your life completely. Make new friends and block the old ones. You're too good to put up with whatever is happening there.