Thoughts

[shaipanda]

Im not in a good frame of mind right now

People who have only seen my face are trying to convince me that I am beautiful.

No one has ever complimented me to my face.

But I have been insulted to my face.

Called ugly, told I'm overweight. Someone once said they liked my baby. I wasn't pregnant, I was 13.

I weigh over 200lbs. I havent checked recently, so i dont know the exact number.

I hate everything about it. Ive TRIED to lose weight, but my own family steers me away from it. They tell me I should eat more, when I run on the treadmill they make fun of me.

Whats inside is what matters. But we dont bother to learn about the inside if the outside isnt pretty.

[Jemas]

remeber you are always beautiful

[Guest You're adorable.]

Well, a fight with weight is a fight that some people might fight with you, but nobody is going to fight it FOR you. This fight is usually fought alone and is usually met with small to no support. The fact is, that even people who love us aren't able to understand the struggle that excessive weight can bring.

 

In my humble, (if maybe a little bit unpopular) opinion, people who say that looks don't matter are, in a certain way, hypocrites. Not to offend anyone out there, but as humans, we are "programmed" to seek individuals that we see as healthy and with good genetic makeup. This is a fact. Looks definitely do matter. People want to spend time with people that they find attractive. And as you see lately, it's being attacked by all kinds of agendas. I am not going to talk about it since that's a topic for another time, maybe.

 

I understand your frustration, I really do, being the person that was on both ends of this thing. I am not going to say to you that what's inside is ALL that matters, even if it matters to a great degree. You see, our body is a vessel, carrying us through this journey that we call life. It's only natural that we should take care of it to the best of our abilities, as, in the end, it's the only thing in this world that is truly our own. If you are not met with the support that you would want or that you need, simply find people that are willing to provide support to you. There are groups, etc. The thing that also helps is realizing that you are not just loosing weight. You are changing your life. You are teaching yourself discipline, a trait few people have and so many need in their life. Once you gain winner's mindset, as it is often the case when someone looses weight and finally achieves their goal, you can do (almost) anything. Strong desire to do what you want should be the motivation you need.

 

So don't listen to people that are trying to drag you down with them in the hollow pit of self-doubt and self-hate. You can rise above and discover what you are truly meant to do and be. Don't give up on what you started. I understand it's not the easiest thing to just "not mind". In fact, it's one of the hardest things to do, but I am sure most of us would be able to do it if met with the right kind of support.

 

All in all. my advice would be. Be confident, but don't lie to yourself or try to deceive yourself. Reality is harsh, always will be. Our only option is to stand strong and look it dead in the eyes. Don't mind hypocrites, seek people true to their word. And your journey will be much more pleasant one.

 

I am not sure if what i wrote even makes sense, but here you go.

[shaipanda]

Weird. Somehow still hate myself.

[Guest You're adorable.]

Weird. Somehow still hate myself.

 

Well, of course you will not suddenly become what you want to become, or feel better because you read something that some whacko on the internet mixed up, sitting on the chair in his pajamas. It's a long, tedious and hard process. I am just saying that it is not impossible.

[CaresAlot]

This is a fixable problem but you have to do both diet and exercise.  If you only do one or the other it will be slow and tedious process.  You can still eat a lot of foods if its the right things.  Vegetable are good until you start topping them with butter, cheese or brown sugar.  Fruit is good unless you are putting on top of ice cream.  Most anything with sugar is not good for you.  I always have bag of the mini carrots and apples.  These are less expensive and healthier than processed snacks.  There is plenty of good information on the internet about making better choices about what we eat.  Stay away from funky diet of the week stuff.

 

Running on a treadmill is boring and more people use them as a clothes rack than as an exercise machine.  There are all sorts of apps you can find for your phone that will track how far you move each day.  Get outside and find or make you a course(s) that are at least a mile.  See how fast you can walk it to start out and by timing yourself.  Doesn't matter how fast compared to anybody but yourself.  Always strive to make new personal best - that's who you are trying to impress.  To make those personal best better, run 10 steps and walk 10 steps.  Keep this going running more and walking less.  I did this and worked my way up to doing 5K and 10K runs.  There are lot of fund raisers that have these runs and they are good way to meet some other like minded people.  Find one of these runs and put that out there as a goal.  Its lot easier to exercise when you have a goal with a date that you are working towards.  At the 5K runs, you will meet people that were in the same positions as you are right now.  Its more about finishing than it is your time.

[Guest Arc]

Sorry but your family don't steer you from it. You allow yourself to be put off. If you wanted something badly enough you wouldn't allow the opinions of others to stop you.

 

Find exercise you love. Running obviously isn't doing much if you're stopping because of others. Find something you enjoy and you won't be put off of. I started pole dance a while ago and I adore it. I've always struggled with my weight but after 4 weeks I'd lost 6kg and went from being unable to get off the ground to being able to lift my whole body weight. Because I was enjoying myself I kept at it and got better and didn't stop for any reason or any one. Find something you like and it will be easier.

[Littlest_Bee]

I'd agree with Arc in so far that it's certainly easier to exercise if you find a way that makes it fun but as MilkPop pointed out people should exercise even if they do not have an activity that is fun to them.

 

I'd say go on that treadmill since it seems to be available and do your thing. I don't know how you're eating right now but keep in mind that you need to eat a certain amount of calories every day and enough protein to build muscles because your muscles will burn the fat in the end. It's possible that you will gain weight before you lose it, don't let that discourage you. You should still feel a difference and maybe need other clothes but some people only trust the numbers on a scale. But building your body up is what's important in the long run.

 

Maybe it helps to put on some loud music while you exercise. It might drown out stupid comments.

 

My first thought is that the other members of your family struggle with being overweight themselves and that's why they are trying to keep the status quo. I might be way off base but it doesn't matter. Their issues don't really have anything to do with you and your goals.

 

Take care.

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

They tell me I should eat more, when I run on the treadmill they make fun of me.

 

Noise cancelling headphones.  Doesn't matter what they say if you can't hear them.

 

In all seriousness, the only thing that is going to help with that situation is getting away from them.  Energy vampires don't change.

 

It sucks when you are stuck in that headspace, can feel like it is always lurking in the background, ready to ambush you when you are feeling down.  Last time I felt like this, I made a list of the things I hate about myself and the things I love about myself.  Guess which one was longer?  The hate list was like 10 times longer.  But, writing it out helped purge some of the negativity from my brain and seeing it on paper reminded me that I can't change the majority of those things.  I circled the things I could work on, made plans for how to improve those things, and focused on emphasizing the parts that I love about myself.

 

Hope you find a way to a better place.