Straying away from the dynamic.. maybe?

[BabygirlsShadow]

Okay so hello everyone! I haven't been on here in almost a year, if not more than that, honestly. I just wanted to come on to talk about something. 

 

I've noticed that ever since I got into my current relationship (around 10 months ago), I have started to stray away from the dynamic. I'm honestly fine with that, just because I know that I can grow and develop away from certain things that may have been a big part of my life at one point. 

 

But-- the other day, I went to Build-A-Bear with my friends (only one of which is even remotely into DDLG), and we went through the whole thing. I got a meowth whom i love. The thing that bothers me-- whenever I snuggle him or even am near him, I feel this urge to just go into little space or play with him. I haven't had urges like this in a while, and i'm kind of resenting myself for even thinking in such a way. 

 

I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, other than just a bit of a vent, but if you want to provide some advice on what to do about my conflicting feelings, go right ahead. Thanks for listening 

[Guest Looby-Lou]

You say you "resent yourself for feeling this way" (feeling little). That seems to imply you're trying to squash your littleness, and convince yourself that "you're fine with that" (not being little). 

And this started around the same time as your new relationship. I think lots of us adapt to fit a new partner, but if it means ignoring a vital part of yourself then that's not a healthy compromise IMO. Maybe you really thought being little wasn't a big deal for you, but now you're having to re-think that.

Or maybe it's NOT a big deal for you, but just every now & then something will make you feel little and you might feel awkward for a short while.

 

Conflicting emotions are always hard to deal with, only you can know what you want to have in your life.  Sounds to me that you might be anxious to acknowledge your littleness to your partner (or even to yourself) in case it damages the relationship. Does your partner know about DDlg? Can you discuss how you're feeling at the moment? 

 

If you want to feel little then seek out those things that attract you.

If you don't want to feel little, avoid them. 

If it bothers you to feel little, then get rid of your new toy (or hide it away somewhere until you're sure).

 

I hope you can feel good about yourself AND enjoy your relationship! 

Edited July 6, 2018 by Looby-Lou

[Guest Arc]

Just be yourself. Getting upset or stressed over something you really have no control over sounds like a waste of energy. Just let whatever happens, happen. There's nothing wrong with wanting to play with a stuffie or go into little space. Just because you feel you have somewhat grown out of what you used to be doesn't mean you cannot be anything like you used to be. 

 

I was once a pet to someone. I no longer see myself as such as I have grown into a role that fits me better, but that doesn't mean I have to 100% shut that side of me away. I can still have fun occasionally when it feels right. 

 

Even big kids can still play with toys and have some fun. You don't even have to completely go into little space if you really don't want to. But if something feels right and isn't hurting anyone then why stop? Just relax and let you be you.

[BabygirlsShadow]

You say you "resent yourself for feeling this way" (feeling little). That seems to imply you're trying to squash your littleness, and convince yourself that "you're fine with that" (not being little). 

And this started around the same time as your new relationship. I think lots of us adapt to fit a new partner, but if it means ignoring a vital part of yourself then that's not a healthy compromise IMO. Maybe you really thought being little wasn't a big deal for you, but now you're having to re-think that.

Or maybe it's NOT a big deal for you, but just every now & then something will make you feel little and you might feel awkward for a short while.

 

Conflicting emotions are always hard to deal with, only you can know what you want to have in your life.  Sounds to me that you might be anxious to acknowledge your littleness to your partner (or even to yourself) in case it damages the relationship. Does your partner know about DDlg? Can you discuss how you're feeling at the moment? 

 

If you want to feel little then seek out those things that attract you.

If you don't want to feel little, avoid them. 

If it bothers you to feel little, then get rid of your new toy (or hide it away somewhere until you're sure).

 

I hope you can feel good about yourself AND enjoy your relationship! 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! 

My partner does know that I used to be very heavily into the ddlg dynamic, but he honestly hates it. We've been dating for over 10 months and every time I tried to hint toward it, he would just say that he never wants to engage in something like that because he thinks it's really weird. Nevertheless, I still act little sometimes, but I just play it off as being "hyper" so he won't get weirded out by it. 

[xBabydollx]

u shouldn't have to suppress who u are just because u are in a vanilla relationship now. There is lots of little things u can do on ur own without involving him. Perhaps him finding it weird, is what is casting his own views on it to u and making u want to avoid it all? Even tho he finds it weird, u should still be free to indulge in whatever little behavior u like, and he should respect it even if he doesn't like iI or what to engage in it himself. He may never be the Daddy type, but he can be a supportive boyfriend or at least nonjudgmental.

[Guest bunnybear11]

Maybe try not to control it too much? Try to just feel the present moment without having to judge your feelings and emotions. This is something really used in meditation that I've been trying to apply to my life as a whole c:

 

Also if parts of your personality are child like and hyper and you said there's nothing you can do about it, no need to try to change it.