Struggling with my Daddy position with my little

[DaddyBean]

I’m new to being a Daddy. I met my gf about 8 months ago and she was a little when I met her. I found I really enjoyed being a Daddy and wanted to make this a part of our life. But I’m having a lot of trouble getting her to listen and follow what I say and I think my inexperience is showing. I am at a point we’re I’m very frustrated and I would love some help. I’ve tried giving her jobs and chores or rules and she fights against me saying that Daddy doesn’t have to do those things. I also am concerned that she doesn’t spend the time I would like focusing on taking care of her Daddy however she is always requesting all of her Daddy’s time. I feel I’m over my head and I thought that this life style would give me some sense of structure and calmness. Help!

[tayiie]

Sounds like communication isn't the best. Could be wrong though!
I would still suggest you talking to your girlfriend.

Ask her how she would like you to act at certain moments, examples

Does she want to be bratty and get punished?

Or does she want to obey her boyfriend (daddy)?

What rules does she really want/need?

 

I would also suggest you talk to her about how YOU feel about all this. That you are getting frustrated because maybe you aren't quite sure how to act, what to say or do.

 

Everyone starts somewhere, I find it to be best idea to talk to one another about what are the things you want your DDLG relationship to be like and work towards that goal.

[Guest SUeB]

Not all daddies make rules. Not all little want rules or orders. Not all littles are submissive. Some little are dominant. Some daddies are submissive to the little. Not all ddlg couples do exactly the same thing. Maybe you both simply want different things. Has she actually told you she wants you to give her instructions etc?

[DaddyBean]

I think communication is a great place to start and that advice is really great. I think there are a lot of circumstances that have changed the dynamic I.e we temporarily live with her parents for a few weeks and therefore we don’t have the freedom to have play time or a routine in the Daddy/little relationship that both of us grew to love. I did talk to her and we agreed that the reason for a lot of it is the loss of a space that just belongs to us. That space felt safe to be daddy and little and now we worry about someone hearing our exchanges or conversation and I think that has ruined it for the time being. Also it causes her to fight going into little space and she has to think a lot and it wears her out therefore when she finally is little she becomes very bratty (her words not mine. So very proud of her using her words) so we will continue to work on it. But I think I’m stuck with whether I’m more of a daddy or daddy dom and I worry if that’s going to be an issue when I have a bratty little. She likes to test limits.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

In less than 3 hours you already moved on a lot from what you said in your first post to your second. Be proud of yourself! And your little/gf.

It sounds like there's 2 things going on here. One is that you're still working out what kind of Daddy you want to be. And the 2nd thing is that you and your gf are working out what kind of dynamic you want in your relationship, and there are some physical problems at the moment that prevent you from living your dynamic easily. 

I really suggest you both keep communicating honestly with each other and try to give it time. 8 months of being together isn't a long time, especially when you're new to DDlg and having to also cope with changes to your living circumstances.

There's a wealth of information on this website.  If you and your gf/little are able to spend some time browsing the threads, it might help you to discuss what you both want from your relationship.  

Wishing you both every success, and keep us posted!

[Lola Step]

My Daddy and I also stay with his parents and while I love his family I do get frustrated sometimes with the concept of 'Certain things can only happen in certain room at certain times' whether it be colouring or drinking out of cute cups I become somewhat pouty wishing I could do anything I wanted whenever and wherever I wanted not just confined to one room :/ Perhaps you could treat her parents to some movie tickets (say it's a thank you for their hospitality) and then plan her a huge little night involving every room of the house with forts and baking and lots of fun things, you would score points with her parents for treating them to a night out and you and your little would be able to relax in your own space however temporary

[CaresAlot]

Expectations and communication will make or break a relationship.

From your post it does sound like you both have not sat down and figured out what your expectations are.  You are basically making it up as you go and eventually you will run into problems like you are in right now.  There is lot of good information on here and one of the real wizards (Little illy) wrote this:

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/32775-cgl-takes-two/

 

You will find lots of good information that will help you out on not only expectations, but also on being inexperienced.  

[Guest little_ballerina]

I think it's helpful to separate needs from wants/preferences. Couples who love each other can easily negotiate the latter and make give-and-take compromises as necessary but needs must be met in relationships.

 

It sounds like you may have a need for order & control. If so, make that clear to her that's a non negotiable. Hopefully the two of you could then find a way to make that work for both of you (compromising on how it gets done is fine as long as your needs are met). The same is true for her needs.

 

As someone else mentioned, it shouldn't be assumed that little = submissive. We're all different.

[Mediumsizedbean]