I'm in shock

[shaipanda]

Well... I HAD a daddy... and i get attached to things really easily... he told me to clear my friend's list, lock my personal.... and now he's getting back together with his ex.... all the nice people I unfriended, i'm sorry... apparently even good daddies can just block me and walk awy....

[Guest Professor Optics]

Good Daddy's would never do such a thing, at least not without saying good bye. At least, i know i wouldn't. As hard as it might be, it isn't fair on anyone to just "disappear" especially after getting you to do all sorts of stuff. Somewhere a long the lines, some of us humans have just lost our values...

[LittleCelticLass]

That, was not a good Daddy. You dodged a bullet. Re request your friends and make new ones. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

[shaipanda]

Thank you guys so much for the support, I feel better already.

[Quirkygrl16]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. That was NOT good daddy behavior at all.

[Guest SUeB]

That, was not a good Daddy. You dodged a bullet. Re request your friends and make new ones. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

i was going to say almost this exact same thing

[DDevoted_Embrace]

 he told me to clear my friend's list

 

If a daddy requests this, refuse. I don't care how little or sub you are, never give up your social network just because someone tells you to. Only weak and manipulative people are afraid to let you talk to others. It's not care, it's a sinister form of control.

Edited July 2, 2018 by DDevoted_Embrace

[PapaMax]

Less a "daddy" more like a control freak

[Guest Arc]

As much as things like this hurt it was definitely better to have it sooner rather than later.

 

Locking your personal when you are in a relationship is understandable, but making you remove friends would be a red flag to me. I would NEVER allow a partner to dictate who I can be friends with. Someone wanting to isolate you like that is a red flag in my opinion. The only time I would tolerate a partner even suggesting to me not to be friends with someone is if there was enough evidence of bad behaviour to suggest being friends with them would be harmful.

 

I'd suggest reading as much as possible and getting a better idea of what sort of behaviours to look out for. You shouldn't ever be forced to do anything unreasonable like delete your friends if you don't want to. And I'd suggest working on that getting too attached too quickly. Sometimes when you behave like that you can overlook the small things that might be giving you warnings about a guy.

[Little Illy]

You admitted to having an attachment issue - I think you need to find a way to remind yourself of this every time you start a relationship. How long were you two together before he started isolating you? How quickly did you start calling him Daddy and gave him the control? Make personal rules, make a check list, make a NOT OKAY check list, etc and follow through.

 

 

 

Make it a rule to not call a potential partner 'Daddy' until things 1-5 have happened. Things like:

 

- Having an in depth conversation on what you both NEED from a relationship, what you both want and what you both cannot stand.

- The partner proved his 'devotion' to you in a way that shows sincerity. 

- You have a genuine affection for the PERSON and not just what the person REPRESENTS (a Daddy in your life).

Etc.

 

Make it a rule that if things 1-10 happen, then you need to remove yourself from that person because he goes against what you are comfortable with:

 

- Isolates you from friends or family, so you only have him.

- Expects you to do every single thing he says, but never does a single thing that shows his respect for you.

- Tears down your self-esteem so it feels like only he will ever like you.

Etc.

 

Make a timetable if that works best for you - allow yourself realistic expectations (for yourself) and follow the schedule:

 

- Will not engage in sexual activity until after 3 months of regular interactions.

- Will not lock my personal until 2 months of consistent, and pleasant, interactions.

- Will not get back into a relationship until I have had 1 month of happiness and being content of being single and loving myself.

Etc.

 

 

I am sincerely sorry this happened to you - he was a dick and doesn't deserve a second thought. But if you know you have this issue, you need to recognize that and safe guard yourself. And I know it is easier said than done as I have given myself rules and requirements for all of my dating. It left me by myself for a long time, but because of my rules for myself, I found my Forever Daddy. Its a bitch, but it stops A LOT of heartache and helps you find your real partner. 

Edited July 3, 2018 by Little Illy

[papapresto]

A real daddy who truly cares for you would not ask you to do any of the things this fake, poor excuse for a daddy had. He's not a daddy, he's a child, be happy he's some other girl's problem. You're lucky he showed his true colors so soon.

[Guest depth_of_field_ddlg]

"Clear your friend's list."

 

That is not ok. That is never ok. In any relationship. 

 

Like what lilly said, it's ok to have your own rules.

 

Just because you have a Daddy/CG doesn't mean they automatically get to dictate every aspect of your life. Rules are meant to provide structure, no to isolate and dehumanize. 

[shaipanda]

Thanks again everyone for all the superb advice. It's definitely nice to have the community standing behind me

[Little Illy]

It's definitely nice to have the community standing behind me

 

I'm glad you feel the support we all have for you and all littles (and CGs) in the same position! And it is especially why you should always keep your support system, regardless of what anyone tells you.