Ghosting signs... are there any?

[Guest Professor Optics]

I thought I'd ask, mostly to prevent myself from having to go through such a thing again. Are there any patterns, or signs one can look out for when chatting with someone that could indicate ghosting behaviour? Both before and after the ghosting actually happens...

 

Things like: do ghosters block you, or just "vanish" by deleting accounts, etc? If they haven't blocked you and deleted accounts, do they still read messages, or do they blatantly ignore messages... eg on kik you have S D and R indicators for the message status. D has a faded version when sending to iPhone users. Which of those indicators would be a more likely scenario with a ghoster? things like that... possibly definite indicators so one can preempt a ghoster and cut their losses before they cut you out? 

 

Perhaps some sort of consolidated list users can reference when trying to work out if they've been ghosted, or about to be? Honestly, this behaviour is atrocious, so avoidance would be the best thing if it can be

 

Thanks in advance!

[Guest SUeB]

Don't think there's a recognised pattern. Different people do different things.

[Guest TheLittlestMouse]

If someone is going to ghost you that's basically it. They could do it for any number of reasons. Maybe you said something wrong or something they disliked. Maybe you were not a fit for them. Maybe they found you boring.. you never know.

 

Most will just ignore your messages until you leave them alone and some may even block.

 

You can't avoid it.. sorry but it will happen and it will happen a lot!

 

Just remember it has nothing to do with you but you just may not be what they are looking for.

 

If it has been a few days try asking if they are ok and if no one answers they probably went ghost.

 

I hope this kinda helps!

[neko]

I've ghosted people because I found them boring or just didn't like them but didn't feel like telling them that.

 

Honestly there's no tell tale signs that someone will ghost you. You could be having the best conversation ever with them and then they just stop replying / block you / whatever

[DustBunny93]

I have been ghosted before on here so I can really only tell you what "signs" happened to me. Like the others have posted above, people are different when it comes to ghosting.

 

Anyway, I have had some people ghost me when I first joined months ago. I have had guys:

-flat out ignore me

-leave me on "R" aka "Read"

-delete the account

 

I have never been blocked to my knowledge. It just seems like I was either ignored or just left on read, meaning they would read my message then just not reply. But I could see they were reading it.

[krystalfox]

I’ve been ghosted before, so with my experience here are some pretty obvious signs imo:

- Starts taking too long to text back/ Doesn’t make as much time time for you as used to;

- Doesn’t seem as interested as before;

- Cancels plans/breaks promises.

And then when they actually ghost you from my experience most people won’t even bother to block you, they’ll just stop answering. If they do that don’t go begging for them to talk to you or ask why they’re doing this. They’re doing this because they’re cowards with no regard or respect for other people’s feelings.

[Guest SaladHater]

I usually have a 24 hour rule. If they dont reply within 24 hours as we are getting to know each other then i usually assume they ghosted. Unless they say "hey btw im gunna be busy for x amount of time" then thats ok and ill give a pass.

[TheDaddyest]

Yeah, I don't think there are any signs for ghosting. Which is why it causes so much anxiety. The safest thing is to assume the worst and be happily surprised if its not the case. I usually send a message 30 mins plus after I don't get a response. Then wait a day or two, and then give up, unless I like them a lot then I'll message them every once and a while like a month plus to see if I get a response. And after a while I just delete them so I don't make more of a fool of myself. 

 

The art of not spamming is hard to master though. It took me a long time to learn how to do it. 

[PizzaOnARoof]

Most of the time they just leave, haha. Its not like they bother signaling to you like "Hey, by the way i'll cease communication with you soon." They just kinda go

[CaresAlot]

A relationship is often times like a financial transaction, because to see how its going sometimes you have to look at your ROI (return on investment). 

 

If you are the one that is carrying on most of the conversation and they are saying less and less - your return on investment is falling.  You write a paragraph and they they respond "sounds good" -  they are just along for the ride.

 

If you tell them intimate personal things and don't get that same kind in return, then its not a good ROI.  If you tell them I like quick little neck kisses and then long slow kiss.  They respond "kisses are okay".  Your investment may be going to crash.

 

If you are the one that is initiating the calls all the time, not a positive indication.

 

Sometimes when you see that it may be time to be blunt (explain how the cow ate the cabbage).  Tell them that you have really enjoyed what we are doing - chatting, talking or whatever.  You hope to continue and grow, but if not then all you want is for them to be honest and let you know.  Yes it will hurt, but knowing is almost always better than not knowing.  

 

There are always exceptions to the rule, but theses are some general thoughts.

 

Just Kiss and Say Goodbye - 

When a Little ghost a Daddy (Have You Seen Her) - 

[Guest Arc]

I don't think there's any way to tell. Everyone acts differently. 

 

Sometimes people ghost because they suddenly realised they weren't interested. That makes in impossible to find signs of possible ghosting because they were actually interested to start with, but then realised it wouldn't work and just didn't think they were able to say. .-. It's far from the ideal way of handling things and isn't the most mature, but it happens. Things don't always work out like we want or expect. 

 

I guess the only thing you can really look out for is their level of interest. If you're the one writing long messages and they're sending five or less word replies then it's probably not going to end well. 

[Guest Loki]

For me I can tell someone’s going to ghost when they refuse to engage. I think most people ghost becuase they can’t invest enough to know who someone is and they get bored.

[tayiie]

I will agree with others and say it all depends on the person.

 

I ghost alot! Not my intention but I can easily forget that I'm in a conversation with someone. Not because lack of interest but because that's just how my brain works.

[neworder]

-shorter texts

-takes longer to reply to text

-lack of meaningful text

-not seeing each other as often

-unexplained giddiness (giddy over meeting a new love interest)

-ignores good advice

-mind is always elsewhere

-starts arguments over trivial things

 

a CHANGE in typical behavior. 

 

example: typically you get a response within 6 hours 60% of the time, then all of a sudden you get no replies within 6 hours