How Does Everyone Cope When They Don't Have A Daddy/Mummy?

[Guest CastlePrincess]

Hi all,

 

I have recently ended my relationship with my Daddy for lots of reasons, but I am so so lonely.

 

I want to try and lessen the loneliness a bit because I know it is easy to confuse loneliness with the desire to have someone back in your life, and I wondered if anyone had any hints or tips?

 

I've thrown myself into my work, cleaned my house to within an inch of It's life and spent lots of time with my son. I still crave human touch and interaction though.

 

To clarify I don't think I specifically mean him, rather having someone there to snuggle and be near and interact with.

 

Tia x

[DeathMetalPrincess]

I don't know. I haven't really even been in little space since my mommy and I broke up. I have basically just tried to distract myself and keep myself focused on my schoolwork and whatnot. I miss her all the time, though. No matter how hard I push her out of my mind, she always comes back and we haven't talked in over a month. If you want to combat loneliness, I'd suggest spending more time with friends and family. It might be hard, but it might help. If you've got a pet or two, they could also help with cuddling and whatnot. It's not exactly human contact, but it would be better than nothing until you can find a new daddy. Best of luck.

[Guest CastlePrincess]

Thank you! I often get little when I'm over tired or had a really stressful day at work, that's when it's hardest.

I have 3 kittens and they do help, when they aren't fighting with each other lol.

I just have this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I think maybe I just need to get on with it

[Guest SUeB]

If you can't function properly when you are single, then you really need to find a way to deal with that. Relationships aren't for the purpose of fixing loneliness or anything else. When i was single, i didn't do anything unusual, i just lived life without a partner. Went to work, exercised regularly, took care of my home and family, read, spent time online, took care of my health, paid my bills etc, etc, etc.

[Guest CastlePrincess]

I didn't say I couldn't function, I am perfectly capable of looking after my son and managing my staff and running my household and doing all the normal everyday things I have always done.

It's not about that at all.

[Guest Appacheian]

No matter how your vanilla life occupies you, rewards you, stresses you. There’s the time you need to be the real you. Some seem to manage on their own but for others it needs to be shared with a kindred heart.

[Guest TheLittlestMouse]

I put myself in lil space

 

For that i get

My paci, a sippy (with juice or pop), a stuffie, a onesie, coloring books and gel pens, maybe put pig tales in, and pop in a little movie and blast off into being little.

 

For chores i has an app called chore monster and a caregiver or little friend keeps track of it for me!

 

Also find some little friends! It may help!

 

 

I dunno if any of this will help buuut i hope it may!

[Guest CastlePrincess]

Thank you that's something I haven't tried, and little friends sounds like a really good plan xx

[Guest Looby-Lou]

Firstly I think you're really strong to have ended the relationship. You had your reasons and you followed through on that, which usually isn't easy! Many many people stay in the wrong relationship because they're too scared of being lonely.

 

You seem to be doing all the right things and there's no magic cure for these situations.  IMO it really is a case of giving it time. Time to heal, time to get used to being on your own, time to start enjoying being on your own.

 

Hopefully you can enjoy being little in your own way and on your own (and with us all here), until you find a wonderful partner to share it with. 

I wish you happier times, and for now, just remember to be kind to yourself!

Edited July 1, 2018 by Looby-Lou

[Guest SUeB]

Fair enough. i think i maybe misunderstood what you were saying. This is likely just the grieving process. That's part of the process to being ok again. Just find things to occupy you. Get outside and go for a walk. Take your son. Follow YouTube workouts. Watch dumb videos. Read your favourite book or a brand new one. Look for new interests or hobbies. Watch movies. Declutter a cupboard. Just keep busy. It passes.

[Guest SenpaiPleaseNoticeMe]

My method of coping is keeping extremely focused and too busy to think about a CG. It is difficult when it’s something you innately want but can’t have at the moment. There are some people who are willing to provide some type of platonic care which has worked for me in the meanwhile. You still get mentally cared for while being able to be under someone’s wing when attempting to find a proper partner.

 

If you are looking to find a route that is completely solo. I would suggest making little friends. Who best to understand being little then another little? There’s actually some resources on your question on YouTube believe it or not. You can tease your little friends who have bed times since you don’t! Hope this helps.

[krystalfox]

Hey, I struggle with this from time to time because I don't have a daddy and actually never had a real one (only LDR/online short-lived things that didn't end up well) and of course I can only speak from my perspective but for me DDLG is more like an extension of my personality; ''little me'' is not a different persona, it's basically me with very few differences, so going into little space is something very natural to me. Like, in a week I might go into my little space everyday (especially if I'm feeling tired or sad), sometimes I won't, it depends. Although I would sometimes struggle a lot not to go into little space right after one of my ''caregivers'' cut me off because it would be too painful. So I guess my advice for you regarding that is: don't force yourself to get into little space if that's something that's causing you pain right now. 

Other than that my advice would be for any kind of breakup: First, don't try to like, repress what you're feeling because it's better to feel sad than to feel nothing at all, you're only human, don't forget; if you're heartbroken, shattered, miserable, allow yourself to feel that way but don't dwell on it, instead, take all those bad things and try to learn from it, because there's always something you get to learn from a breakup. 
When we have a special person in our lives we're used to fill a part of our days with the company of that person or just thinking of them because they are part of our lives, but you have to understand that for whatever reason that's not the case anymore so you'll have to fill that empty space they've left with other things and my advice here is absolutely do not go searching for that in other people, like, don't get in a rebound relationship, instead you have to switch your focus to yourself, because if there's something missing in your life you don't have to look for that in others, you have to look for that within yourself. Of course, reach out to your friends to vent or just to spend time with them, get out of the house, try different stuff, use your time doing things that make you happy, whatever they are.

And remember, if you were born with the weakness to fall, you were born with the strength to rise. Good luck!

[Guest Arc]

I always do better when I have a set routine and keep it packed. I know when I have to start and finish something, and I can't let my mind wander or I get behind. And having your day already planned out just lets your mind relax because you don't have to think or stress about what to do next. It just kind of simplifies things and I find it works for me whenever I'm struggling or upset with anything. 

[Guest SUeB]

Oh yes, and allow yourself to feel the pain. Don't try and mask it with anything, such as drink or drugs.

Experience it, feel it, let it come. Cry, get mad, slap a pillow, say lots of rude words etc. Just let your body go through the process.

[ThePlushiePrincess]

Honestly I've been having a similar issue lately. What helps me is that my best friend is also a little. I can text her whenever and we can talk about anything, whether it be about Big things, or Little things. Her Daddy has also kinda become my Uncle, so when I hang out with her he treats me like a Daddy would. 

 

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely though. I hope you feel better soon. 

[Guest LittleMapleBear]

I have been looking for a Mommy or Daddy for about 20 years, so while I’ve developed some good coping skills, it doesn’t mean I don’t get sad, or frustrated, or think how unfair it all is. I sometimes have a little cry because if you’re a sweet and good little, if you’re gainfully employed, have your shit together, and are generally an upstanding person, shouldn’t there be a lineup around the block of Mommies and Daddies just wanting to care and love you, and receive your love and care in return?

 

Evidently like everything else, it’s a matter of timing, and getting out to meet folks.

 

Some of the things I do are gong for a massage - like a therapeutic one - hanging out with friends who enjoy hugs and cuddles - learning new skills that might be of benefit to my future Mommy or Daddy, like cooking, or massage techniques. I have even gone for an erotic massage - not to have sex - but to fulfill the need of being sensual and touched by another person.

 

I do understand your feeling - I just recently packed up all my BDSM and sexy toys in a box and outback them away in my closet. My thinking was what was the point of having them out ready to go when I don’t have anyone in my life. Besides, they were taking up room in my dresser drawers that could easily be filled by socks, or jammies.

 

I think taking this alone time to focus on you and what you want is also a good way to go. Just think, one day you’ll be in a relationship again, and you’ll be wishng that your partner would leave the house so you could not wear pants, order Chinese delivery, and have control of the remote.