LDR/IRL open dating fail

[Guest ~lele~]

Due to recent events, I wanted to broach a subject I'm not sure how many of us have faced, because maybe I'm just weird. My now ex-daddy and I were together for 2 years. The problem was we knew we would never meet. There were reasons. But, I digress.

Recently, I had gotten him to agree that I could date in real life, but we had rules for this-no bdsm, no sex for 6 weeks, no missing nini with Daddy- things of the nature. Hard rules to follow, to be honest. The problem was, I met someone, a nice someone, a Dom someone. In no time our perfectly rounded plan to keep me from being physically lonely unraveled and now we've broken up. Is it great that I've met someone, sure. Here's the problem though, I have loved my Daddy so much that I'm struggling to be happy about it even though I know it's the better thing for me. Daddy and I were never going to be more than we were, we knew we'd never meet; this man is 35 minutes away from me and I can actually have a life with him, and so we mutually made the best decision for me.

So, a little advice from my broken heart to you: don't decide to date IRL if you have a Daddy unless you're both ready for that relationship to possibly end.

[Silkyblacklace]

I couldn’t have said it better then this, Lele.

[Guest QueenJellybean]

i'm so sorry this happened to you, lele. </3

[Guest Kerjin]

Thank you for sharing this insightful topic Lele.

[KedoG]

Sometimes you can get attached to someone far away even if you do not meet.. maybe you skype,call,talk all day ect. Get to know them. Know about their family and their likes,wants, ect. Go on virtual dates. Form and emotional bond. That being said if you knew you’d never meet you’d have to prepare yourself that one day you two would meet someone that would satisfy you in the ways we are meant to. Physically and emotionally. Someone to live with and go through life with in person. I’m sorry you went through that. It absolutely is ok to be upset. But I’d say be friends with the ex and start your life or dating life with your in person guy. Try not to get hung up on the emotions anymore than you have because one emotions can be deceatful and two you can’t let this opportunity go to waste for someone you will never have a future with. Good luck dear.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

Your thoughtful post will probably help other people to think about things carefully before getting too involved with someone, so thanks for sharing. OTOH, I hope you'll soon be able to feel happy about the time you had with your LDR Daddy and equally happy about this new start you have IRL.

 

It sounds like maybe the LD Daddy that you loved is now on his own while you have met someone else IRL. If so, it's hard when we know our happiness means someone else is losing out. 

 

And IMO it's very difficult emotionally to go straight from one relationship to another.  It puts a lot of pressure on the new r'ship as there are usually lingering emotions from the past r'ship that haven't yet been dealt with.  In other words, you're still trying to get over your ex at the same time as you're trying to start a r'ship with the new man.

 

Hopefully your new guy understands your situation and will give you some time to adjust. And if you can, focus on the new relationship and try not to allow feelings about the past to come between you.

 

I would also say this situation can happen in a variety of ways.  It could be IRL relationship falls apart because one partner begins a satisfying LDR with a 3rd person - even with all parties consenting, things don't always move in the way we had anticipated.