"you don't listen"

[Laladolly]

* Trigger warning in my update post*

 

Daddy and I have been together for about 2 years now. We pretty much live together. This haa been my first real true ddlg relationship and it's been something that's changed a lot for me.

 

But now he says it's not going to work out. Because I don't listen. He thinks I don't listen because I asked him questions a lot for reassurance. I get scared that he'll go away or find someone else. I apologize to him for being insecure and try to tell him that I do listen to him when he answers the questions. But that I just get scared. I even offered that I would try not to ask him so many questions.

 

But this isn't the first time he's broke up with me. He gets so angry when I ask him things over and over. I don't even want to ask him things over and over. I'm just scared of losing someone else that I care about.

 

But bow it looks like that's what's happening . I need advice .

Edited June 20, 2018 by Laladolly

[Guest QueenJellybean]

if he can't understand your need for validation based out of a fear response probably due to anxiety, then he isn't worth trying to fight for, in my opinion. especially since he gets mad often & this isn't the first time he's broken up with you. 

 

i think it's very unfair of him to say that needing validation, reassurance, & support translates to you not listening to him. 

 

if he's broken up with you when he's angry before, then he's likely to do it again. it won't matter the number of things you try to do to appease him, or the number of chances you give him. i think you deserve a lot better -- including someone who doesn't make your insecurities feel like something you need to fix. 

[Laladolly]

if he can't understand your need for validation based out of a fear response probably due to anxiety, then he isn't worth trying to fight for, in my opinion. especially since he gets mad often & this isn't the first time he's broken up with you.

 

i think it's very unfair of him to say that needing validation, reassurance, & support translates to you not listening to him.

 

if he's broken up with you when he's angry before, then he's likely to do it again. it won't matter the number of things you try to do to appease him, or the number of chances you give him. i think you deserve a lot better -- including someone who doesn't make your insecurities feel like something you need to fix.

Thanks you for this. I needed that now. I needed to hear that. It's just hard . When I love someone I really love them. My best friend since I was 6 years old was murdered last year and ever since then I can't get my security back. So him leaving just feels like another death. Edited June 20, 2018 by Laladolly

[DantesInferno86]

As a daddy he should do what he can to be understanding of your needs...that is what being a daddy is ultimately about. If you have fears he should do what he can to reassure you and explain his reasoning behind things. He sounds like maybe he is more of a Dom than a Daddy. There is a big difference in that daddy's are more nurturing than doms.

[Guest Kerjin]

Daddy and I have been together for about 2 years now. We pretty much live together. This haa been my first real true ddlg relationship and it's been something that's changed a lot for me.

 

But now he says it's not going to work out. Because I don't listen. He thinks I don't listen because I asked him questions a lot for reassurance. I get scared that he'll go away or find someone else. I apologize to him for being insecure and try to tell him that I do listen to him when he answers the questions. But that I just get scared. I even offered that I would try not to ask him so many questions.

 

But this isn't the first time he's broke up with me. He gets so angry when I ask him things over and over. I don't even want to ask him things over and over. I'm just scared of losing someone else that I care about.

 

But bow it looks like that's what's happening . I need advice .

 

First off, please remember this. If he can not, or will not, understand your need for validation and that you ask things over and over to ensure that you are understanding and getting it right, how can he called a Daddy, in this dynamic of ours? That kind of arrogance is usually born of those who are barely in control, if at all, of their own lives. He's really clueless, as far as the DD/lg dynamic goes, in my opinion, if he thinks your need for reassurance and support translates into your not listening top him. Being a Daddy is not the same thing as merely being a dominant person. NOt in my book, although I am sure it works for others (Your mileage WILL vary). What I am trying to say here is that being a Daddy requires one to be oh so much more than just the guy who barks orders at an unfeeling robot. IMNSHO (In My Not So Humble Opinion). Being a Daddy means being in control of themselves AND their lil. It means understanding that she is A LITTLE PERSON. No matter her chronological age, she still a mental child when she's in little space. ANd that means that everything a Daddy does is indelibly etched on her little mind. SO he MUST take all things into consideration. My real children, when they were between the ages of 6 and 12 asked constant questions. Even the famous "Why? Why?" Why?" questions. As a Daddy you deal with it, you teach and love and comfort and protect. It's what a Daddy does.

 

All that being said, however, if he has broken up with you over this before, he'll do it again. And, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to please him, it's likely it'll happen again.  And I think you deserve better than this, that you needn't put up with this kind of childish bullshit at all, especially from one who calls themselves a Daddy.

[Laladolly]

First off, please remember this. If he can not, or will not, understand your need for validation and that you ask things over and over to ensure that you are understanding and getting it right, how can he called a Daddy, in this dynamic of ours? That kind of arrogance is usually born of those who are barely in control, if at all, of their own lives. He's really clueless, as far as the DD/lg dynamic goes, in my opinion, if he thinks your need for reassurance and support translates into your not listening top him. Being a Daddy is not the same thing as merely being a dominant person. NOt in my book, although I am sure it works for others (Your mileage WILL vary). What I am trying to say here is that being a Daddy requires one to be oh so much more than just the guy who barks orders at an unfeeling robot. IMNSHO (In My Not So Humble Opinion). Being a Daddy means being in control of themselves AND their lil. It means understanding that she is A LITTLE PERSON. No matter her chronological age, she still a mental child when she's in little space. ANd that means that everything a Daddy does is indelibly etched on her little mind. SO he MUST take all things into consideration. My real children, when they were between the ages of 6 and 12 asked constant questions. Even the famous "Why? Why?" Why?" questions. As a Daddy you deal with it, you teach and love and comfort and protect. It's what a Daddy does.

 

All that being said, however, if he has broken up with you over this before, he'll do it again. And, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to please him, it's likely it'll happen again. And I think you deserve better than this, that you needn't put up with this kind of childish bullshit at all, especially from one who calls themselves a Daddy.

These responses mean a lot to me . . And the words are poweful. But I'm at a loss .... I let myself be very vulnerable with someone whom I really love . I was scared going in. Then I felt safety . Now coming out , I feel terrified . I thought this person was my beat friend and caregiver . I just .... I don't want to miss him . I don't want to lose anyone.

[baby_k]

As others have said: he does not understand you, nor he seem to want to. It shows lack of care that there is something that upsets you, makes you feel bad and he is not there working to find a solution to it (and on top of that he is just blaiming you).

 

The need of constant reassurance is of course an issue that you can and probably should work on. BUT could be that his cold behaviour is making your need of reassurance a lot bigger than it otherwise would be.

[neko]

I'm gonna kinda agree while disagreeing with everyone elses responses

 

No, he may not understand your feelings but that does not make him a bad person or childish or anything negative. It makes him human with human emotions and feelings. From what I read his feelings are that he can't handle someone with insecurities and that is okay.

 

It sucks right now, I know. You've been together for 2 years so I can't imagine how painful it must be to learn that your insecurities are just now becoming a known problem for him. I know you don't want to lose him but some times people aren't worth the trouble. Especially if they've already broken up with you before.

 

The red flag I would address with him though is his anger issues. That doesn't seem okay to me

[Laladolly]

As others have said: he does not understand you, nor he seem to want to. It shows lack of care that there is something that upsets you, makes you feel bad and he is not there working to find a solution to it (and on top of that he is just blaiming you).

 

The need of constant reassurance is of course an issue that you can and probably should work on. BUT could be that his cold behaviour is making your need of reassurance a lot bigger than it otherwise would be.

Yes that's true . I tell him that the reason the questioning and needing validation so much worse now is because I never know when he's going to get mad and leave. And he says that's not true I've just always been insecure.

 

I'm making it sound so awful. But there have been such a sweet amazing times. I've never felt so safe and not safe with someone at the same time.

Edited June 20, 2018 by Laladolly

[Laladolly]

I'm gonna kinda agree while disagreeing with everyone elses responses

 

No, he may not understand your feelings but that does not make him a bad person or childish or anything negative. It makes him human with human emotions and feelings. From what I read his feelings are that he can't handle someone with insecurities and that is okay.

 

It sucks right now, I know. You've been together for 2 years so I can't imagine how painful it must be to learn that your insecurities are just now becoming a known problem for him. I know you don't want to lose him but some times people aren't worth the trouble. Especially if they've already broken up with you before.

 

The red flag I would address with him though is his anger issues. That doesn't seem okay to me

 

Yes this is kind of what happened last night that made him leave .

Yesterday we were at his apartment and we were having a great time laughing and giggling over some random stuff he was reading.

I said I was going to go out and grab some coffee like walk down the street to the convenience store.

When I came back with the coffee he seems different wasn't laughing and seemed agitated so I asked what was wrong. He absolutely hates when I ask him what's wrong. He said nothing but a continue to act odd. I finished getting ready because we were going to go to the movies.

I was waiting for him on the couch and he walked in there and I made some comments about some package of food I'd left out or something and rolled his eyes . I want some more asked him what was wrong and why he was agitated and he got so angry at me.

 

So then we go to dinner and I'm trying to make everything okay. I told him I didn't want to aargue over small things and I hope he didn't either. He seemed extremely agitated that I even brought it up.

 

Then we get to the movies and he asked me what I want to go see. I didn't know it first he asked if I wanted to go see Infinity War. I said we can do that if you want to I'd rather see Hereditary but that's cool. He suddenly got super mad and said he didn't want to see a movie anymore. I tried to stay calm and convince him to stay and we watched Infinity War.

 

Afterward I still felt strange like there was tension. We were going to get ice cream upon my request. In the parking lot I asked him if I could have a hug. He sighed and I gave him a hug, and I said I just wish I knew what was wrong what happened earlier to make you so upset.

 

Literally nothing else happened. He began yelling at me and screaming at me. Told me to get in the fucking car. That we weren't getting ice cream anymore and that he was taking me home because it's over . He said I had to "dig it out if the ground " and I would know what's wrong if I would just"fucking listen ". It was horrible and so confusing.

[Angel24]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Most of what I want to say has already been said so I'll just say this: I'm just like you when it comes to needing validation and assurance, and there are lots of people out there who understand that and will comfort you instead of getting frustrated. Maybe it just means the one for you has been through times of suffering with anxiety and will help you get through yours. Either way, I hope it all works out okay for you.

[Guest Kerjin]

Yes this is kind of what happened last night that made him leave .

Yesterday we were at his apartment and we were having a great time laughing and giggling over some random stuff he was reading.

I said I was going to go out and grab some coffee like walk down the street to the convenience store.

When I came back with the coffee he seems different wasn't laughing and seemed agitated so I asked what was wrong. He absolutely hates when I ask him what's wrong. He said nothing but a continue to act odd. I finished getting ready because we were going to go to the movies.

I was waiting for him on the couch and he walked in there and I made some comments about some package of food I'd left out or something and rolled his eyes . I want some more asked him what was wrong and why he was agitated and he got so angry at me.

 

So then we go to dinner and I'm trying to make everything okay. I told him I didn't want to aargue over small things and I hope he didn't either. He seemed extremely agitated that I even brought it up.

 

Then we get to the movies and he asked me what I want to go see. I didn't know it first he asked if I wanted to go see Infinity War. I said we can do that if you want to I'd rather see Hereditary but that's cool. He suddenly got super mad and said he didn't want to see a movie anymore. I tried to stay calm and convince him to stay and we watched Infinity War.

 

Afterward I still felt strange like there was tension. We were going to get ice cream upon my request. In the parking lot I asked him if I could have a hug. He sighed and I gave him a hug, and I said I just wish I knew what was wrong what happened earlier to make you so upset.

 

Literally nothing else happened. He began yelling at me and screaming at me. Told me to get in the fucking car. That we weren't getting ice cream anymore and that he was taking me home because it's over . He said I had to "dig it out if the ground " and I would know what's wrong if I would just"fucking listen ". It was horrible and so confusing.

 

lalaldolly, I am no psychiatrist at all, although my minor in college was psychology. The behavior you've described above is not normal "human" behavior for whatever reason.  It's not, in the manner you described above, someone who's just not supportive of your need for reassurance and guidance, it's more along the lines of someone who may be bipolar (Please remember I am NOT a doctor of any kind and am not qualified to make any diagnosis at ALL).

 

You deserve a daddy that will love and support you laladolly. Please look out for yourself first. 

[Silkyblacklace]

Laladolly,

 

I’m so sorry that you are going through this first of all. You seem like a wonderful young woman, and please don’t believe that you deserve this. Just by reading the behavior of your partner, this does not seem any way healthy, in my opinion. You are not responsible to guess what is wrong with him, or “dig out” the answer from him. You are both adults. If he wants things to be over then he should simply say it instead of acting out or hurting you. I can only hope for the best Lolly, hang in there.

~Hugs~

[Laladolly]

Thank you guys so miuch for reaching out . It's good in these times to know there are people out there who , for no reason at all except being kind and caring, want good for orhers .

 

This is going to be extremely hard for me. He and I have also just been through something extremely difficult which I want post much about here in public in case it's triggering for anyone, but that is another reason it's going to be really hard to separate myself from him.

 

I just feel like a complete mess . I really wanted all our plans to unfold. So many memories I thought we were going to conrinue to make .

 

I don't want to say that this is steering me away from ddlg because being little with someone and having them recognize that side of me has been the most gratifying experience for me. In many aspects. But at the same time this doesn't feel like a normal break up. It feels like I'm losing so much more.

Edited June 20, 2018 by Laladolly

[baby_k]

Umh, from what you told about your movie trip, seems that either he is having really stressfull and bad time in his life which he is taking out on you OR the relationship you have starts to be over (him saying it is over would indicate to this but who knows of course).

As you have figured yourself also, his reactions are sudden, out of porpotions and random. None of that seems to be fair to you in anyway.

 

I have once been in relationship that sound like what you have descrived there. When relationship (or person) is really strained, almost anything can start to be agitating. In my case I think both started to be really tired and miserable because the fit just was not good. Therefore, there also was no effort to make things work, almost anything could make things to go south.

 

I would recomend taking time out (even I personally absolutely hate those) and think: your situation seems really heated. You could ask him how he sees his own behaviour towards you (use specific examples like your movie trip) but also tel him how those made you feel. If talking is difficult or just causes fight or him to shut down: write a letter to him.

To me he seems like really tired person, so maybe cut off meeting and talking to him for while: maybe he can recharge his batteries and give you proper answer. Meanwhile you should think what you WANT, NEED and REQUIRE from a relationship and how you allow yourself to be treated.

 

Projecting maybe my own ex-relationship here but be careful on not going into on-off rel. You love him but sometimes some people just don't work well together. We are always taught that love conquers all but honestly speaking: there is plenty of people with whom a relationship is not like constant war zone. Some people just naturally work better together, not meaning there is no arguments but that personalities, needs and ways to solve arguments match making living together easier. Having fun and feeling safe some of the time is sure nice but are you sure that is enough? Do you want to be treated as he is treating you the rest of your life? Do you want to live in constant uncertainty and fear?

[baby_k]

This is going to be extremely hard for me. He and I have also just been through something extremely difficult which I want post much about here in public in case it's triggering for anyone, but that is another reason it's going to be really hard to separate myself from him.

 

 

Not sure of the forum policy but maybe add "trigger warning" to the tittle, so people know to avoid it if needed -> you can post it with less worries.

[Laladolly]

Umh, from what you told about your movie trip, seems that either he is having really stressfull and bad time in his life which he is taking out on you OR the relationship you have starts to be over (him saying it is over would indicate to this but who knows of course).

As you have figured yourself also, his reactions are sudden, out of porpotions and random. None of that seems to be fair to you in anyway.

 

I have once been in relationship that sound like what you have descrived there. When relationship (or person) is really strained, almost anything can start to be agitating. In my case I think both started to be really tired and miserable because the fit just was not good. Therefore, there also was no effort to make things work, almost anything could make things to go south.

 

I would recomend taking time out (even I personally absolutely hate those) and think: your situation seems really heated. You could ask him how he sees his own behaviour towards you (use specific examples like your movie trip) but also tel him how those made you feel. If talking is difficult or just causes fight or him to shut down: write a letter to him.

To me he seems like really tired person, so maybe cut off meeting and talking to him for while: maybe he can recharge his batteries and give you proper answer. Meanwhile you should think what you WANT, NEED and REQUIRE from a relationship and how you allow yourself to be treated.

 

Projecting maybe my own ex-relationship here but be careful on not going into on-off rel. You love him but sometimes some people just don't work well together. We are always taught that love conquers all but honestly speaking: there is plenty of people with whom a relationship is not like constant war zone. Some people just naturally work better together, not meaning there is no arguments but that personalities, needs and ways to solve arguments match making living together easier. Having fun and feeling safe some of the time is sure nice but are you sure that is enough? Do you want to be treated as he is treating you the rest of your life? Do you want to live in constant uncertainty and fear?

Thank you so much for writing. I find your words uplifting and helpful and you must have experienced something very similar, because you hit the nail on the head.

 

I don't want to live in uncertainty and fear. Not at all . I don't want to live with someone who gets angry at me over very small things. I guess really what it is is that, if it can be better , I want it to.

I just don't know if it can

Edited June 20, 2018 by Laladolly

[Laladolly]

Not sure of the forum policy but maybe add "trigger warning" to the tittle, so people know to avoid it if needed -> you can post it with less worries.

Yeah sort of felt the need to do that because what happened I feel is possibly a big factor in this

[Laladolly]

*update post*

 

This is quite personal and out of character for me but I feel the need to provide a little more backstory of recent events. And to just ....share .

 

Last month , I found out I was pregnant.

 

It is true , that anytime he and I had talked about what we would do if we ever found ourselves in that situation, for whatever reason, we both agreed that we are not in the place to have a child together. I agreed that I would probably want an abortion if that ever happened. Actually I think I did say said I'm sure I would want one.

 

And I still think that is the best decision for me. Mentally I'm not at a place where I could have gone through with something like that. But when we booked my first appointment at the clinic i became extremely sad and scared.

 

He acted someone supportive. Told me he was sorry that I had to feel this way. Then I began to get more depressed as the day approaches to my procedure. I didn't want to get out of bed and I felt like a shity person.

 

The more I began to tell him these feelings the more uncomfortable he started acting. He went with me to my first appointment. A couple of days before my procedure, I begin to ask him what he would do if I changed my mind and felt that I could not mentally handle an abortion. I told him I know that sounded confusing because I said I also couldn't handle having a child, but I didn't expect to have those feelings

 

Likewise I was just talking about feelings that I had been having. I wasn't changing my mind .

 

Well he lost his shit on me. Told me I couldn't be trusted because I was breaking an agreement that he and I had. I told him I had no idea I would ever feel this way and feel so bad about myself and what was going on.

 

But he couldn't see it like that. And when I asked him if I did change my mind would he stick by my side, all he could say was I don't know.

 

I know this isn't an easy situation for other person. But it made me feel so terrified. After my procedure I just figured to feel worse and worse. I try though to be positive. But I've had nobody else I could talk to about it except for him.

 

Now just a few weeks later he says this isn't going to work out. And I needed him right now .

Edited June 20, 2018 by Laladolly

[Guest Kerjin]

*update post*

 

This is quite personal and out of character for me but I feel the need to provide a little more backstory of recent events. And to just ....share .

 

Last month , I found out I was pregnant.

 

It is true , that anytime he and I had talked about what we would do if we ever found ourselves in that situation, for whatever reason, we both agreed that we are not in the place to have a child together. I agreed that I would probably want an abortion if that ever happened. Actually I think I did say said I'm sure I would want one.

 

And I still think that is the best decision for me. Mentally I'm not at a place where I could have gone through with something like that. But when we booked my first appointment at the clinic i became extremely sad and scared.

 

He acted someone supportive. Told me he was sorry that I had to feel this way. Then I began to get more depressed as the day approaches to my procedure. I didn't want to get out of bed and I felt like a shity person.

 

The more I began to tell him these feelings the more uncomfortable he started acting. He went with me to my first appointment. A couple of days before my procedure, I begin to ask him what he would do if I changed my mind and felt that I could not mentally handle an abortion. I told him I know that sounded confusing because I said I also couldn't handle having a child, but I didn't expect to have those feelings

 

Likewise I was just talking about feelings that I had been having. I wasn't changing my mind .

 

Well he lost his shit on me. Told me I couldn't be trusted because I was breaking an agreement that he and I had. I told him I had no idea I would ever feel this way and feel so bad about myself and what was going on.

 

But he couldn't see it like that. And when I asked him if I did change my mind would he stick by my side, all he could say was I don't know.

 

I know this isn't an easy situation for other person. But it made me feel so terrified. After my procedure I just figured to feel worse and worse. I try though to be positive. But I've had nobody else I could talk to about it except for him.

 

Now just a few weeks later he says this isn't going to work out. And I needed him right now .

 

Well, that certainly explains it.  Was he this way before you started to feel differently about the procedure?

 

The addition of a new baby into any dynamic, n is a huge change for anyone. It appears to me that he is, based on this situation you've described, not ready to become a father.  And some men, hell, a lot of men, can't even handle the thought of becoming a father. Notice that I said 'father' and not 'dad'. Huge difference between being a father and being a dad, and that's not even considering this DD/lg dynamic we find ourselves in.

 

See, this right here is a huge warning sign in my book:

 

He acted someone supportive. Told me he was sorry that I had to feel this way. Then I began to get more depressed as the day approaches to my procedure. I didn't want to get out of bed and I felt like a shity person.

 

The more I began to tell him these feelings the more uncomfortable he started acting. He went with me to my first appointment. A couple of days before my procedure, I begin to ask him what he would do if I changed my mind and felt that I could not mentally handle an abortion. I told him I know that sounded confusing because I said I also couldn't handle having a child, but I didn't expect to have those feelings

 

Likewise I was just talking about feelings that I had been having. I wasn't changing my mind .

 

Well he lost his shit on me. Told me I couldn't be trusted because I was breaking an agreement that he and I had. I told him I had no idea I would ever feel this way and feel so bad about myself and what was going on.

You freaked him out by talking about your feelings and making him think you might not go through with the procedure which would, in his mind, saddle him with support and other things for the next 18 years. Maybe he doesn't want to be a father because of the bad things that happened to him as a child. Who knows. Whatever his reasons are, this is the bottom line.

 

There are others out there for you laladolly. He's not the only fish in the sea. Whatever his reasons for his actions, they are his reasons and they are valid for him. You need to move on from this broken relationship and find a new one, one that supports you and you support it. It's out there, you've just got to be strong enough to look for it.

[Laladolly]

Well, that certainly explains it. Was he this way before you started to feel differently about the procedure?

 

The addition of a new baby into any dynamic, n is a huge change for anyone. It appears to me that he is, based on this situation you've described, not ready to become a father. And some men, hell, a lot of men, can't even handle the thought of becoming a father. Notice that I said 'father' and not 'dad'. Huge difference between being a father and being a dad, and that's not even considering this DD/lg dynamic we find ourselves in.

 

See, this right here is a huge warning sign in my book:

 

 

You freaked him out by talking about your feelings and making him think you might not go through with the procedure which would, in his mind, saddle him with support and other things for the next 18 years. Maybe he doesn't want to be a father because of the bad things that happened to him as a child. Who knows. Whatever his reasons are, this is the bottom line.

 

There are others out there for you laladolly. He's not the only fish in the sea. Whatever his reasons for his actions, they are his reasons and they are valid for him. You need to move on from this broken relationship and find a new one, one that supports you and you support it. It's out there, you've just got to be strong enough to look for it.

He did act like this before the procedure. Anytime things have been rocky it was before then. He's left quite a few times out of anger.

 

And yes I do understand. That's a very tough situation. Even me, as rough as I know it was and still is, I could not have gone through it with having a child right now with him .

 

But the situation certainly made things harder on me. I felt and still feel quite emotional from it and like I needed him to be there with me .

Edited June 20, 2018 by Laladolly

[Laladolly]

It's just so hard . I know I'm in an awful but we have so many amazing memories with each other. Memories I've not experience with another person. Close and magical times. Edited June 20, 2018 by Laladolly

[DantesInferno86]

It's just so hard . I know I'm in an awful but we have so many amazing memories with each other. Memories I've not experience with another person. Close and magical times.

 

Are you maybe only focused on the happy memories? I was in a relationship for 2 years when I was younger. While I was in the relationship I thought I was so happy because I always let the few happy memories overshadow the bad ones. Once I was finally out of the relationship and into a real loving relationship I realized how bad my previous relationship was and how unhappy I was.

[Laladolly]

Are you maybe only focused on the happy memories? I was in a relationship for 2 years when I was younger. While I was in the relationship I thought I was so happy because I always let the few happy memories overshadow the bad ones. Once I was finally out of the relationship and into a real loving relationship I realized how bad my previous relationship was and how unhappy I was.

I don't know. Sometimes maybe I feel that way. But then sometimes there is such closeness even still that I can't imagine it going away.

Yet here I am .

[DantesInferno86]

I don't know. Sometimes maybe I feel that way. But then sometimes there is such closeness even still that I can't imagine it going away.

Yet here I am .

 

Don't be so hard on yourself. Love drives us to do crazy illogical things at times. It should be something that is cherished and embraced by both you and your daddy.

 

From reading the posts it seems your only real option is to have a heart to heart with your daddy about everything that bothers you in the relationship...let him do the same. You both need to acknowledge each others concerns and if the relationship is to work out you BOTH need to work on them. If he isn't willing to put forth the effort then maybe its time to make a decision if you want to be in a relationship that isn't progressing healthy