LDR Meet Up

[Maids]

Daddy and I are planning on meeting up irl in October and needless to say, I'm a mix of excitement and nervous. This is our first time meeting IRL and I have never flown before and I'm in for an 8 hour flight... any tips and tricks on how to fly calmly? I have an ESA but I have to board her as she is a bunny and the UK does not allow rabbits to cross the border without being quarantined for 4 months - I'm not even staying that long so it's kinda redundant to go through that process. So, as you'd assume, without the company of my bunny I will be rather on edge and feeling quite sad on the plane... how do I cope with this? I will more than likely be bringing my colouring book on the plane so I can colour while we fly and I'll have her blanket with me for extra comfort. 

 

Also, I'm nervous on how I take my BDSM toys across the border    (i.e, flogger, crop, pet-play tail and ears, butt plugs...) without possibly getting odd looks at security? Not to mention how I bring my ABDL items across the border? (i.e, my binky, sippies)

 

On that note, have you ever met a LDR partner in real life after a few or several months online ? Was it easier and less awkward than you imagined? How did you manage to overcome some of the anxiety of meeting for the first time? 

 

Thank you so much for reading   

Edited June 17, 2018 by Foxette

[Barbiedolly]

you shouldnt bring your toys andthings over the border, honestly, theycan ask you to open your suitcase in front of eeryone else around travelling andtakeeverything out, and so a lot of questions can be asked.

also you will need suficient funds to show you wont be planning on stayng here and going back home, showing you can support yourself without the needofanyoneelse like your daddy

Edited June 17, 2018 by Barbiedolly

[Barbiedolly]

make sure you have everything ready like documents etc. your daddys number, where the address is your staying at so you can get through as quickly as possible andeasily x

[Siniwit]

They're not going to open up any suitcase that goes in the cargo hold and she's not able to take much of those things (nor would we want her to) in the cabin for security reasons. The only way they would open up her suitcase is if it was over the weight allowance as she checked-in and they asked her to remove some items - even then, the only way she would have anything to worry about is if she took out our toys and wanted to put them in her hand luggage, which, as said above, she can't do, and they'd only confiscate stuff if those were the only things she could take out of the suitcase in order to make room... Which is a lot of ifs and a very specific scenario.

​We will have all booking information, boarding passes, her passport etc. ready long before she's due to fly ('cos, y'know, this stuff is obvious); she already has my number and knows other ways to contact me or my family if she needs to, and she's the one who's booked the hotel, so she has the address - and I already know where it is, since I live nearby.

​So we've already discussed and gone through all the usual travel stuff, but it's more the anxiety stuff she wants help, advice and opinions on. We want to know if others have gone through this and what their stories are - if it was awkward and anxiety-inducing or if it was just sweet and perfect?

[Barbiedolly]

no offence, but i was trying to be helpful and i cant help but get the impression you are disregarding everything i ave said and making a mokery of itlike it is ovbious

[Guest Mattpanda]

I don’t think he meant it as a slight to you; it seemed like he just wanted to update what they have already gone over/thought of so we can focus on giving advice on other things.

 

I have anxiety whilst flying as well and sitting there for hours can be rough both physically/mentally. Make sure to get up and stretch your legs. Try to keep yourself occupied as best as you can. I recommend gathering music and making a playlist. Maybe an audiobook that you could follow along with. And because it will be a long day for you (waiting, boarding, flight, landing, customs, traveling to hotel, etc.) you should also plan on trying to get a nap in while flying. A comforting snack might help as well (check to see what’s ok to have, there are restrictions).

 

Though i’ve never had someone to visit, my excitement to arrive at my vacation destination was always enough to help me through some of the tough moments. Just remember why you’re going and those good feelings will help!

[Siniwit]

I don’t think he meant it as a slight to you; it seemed like he just wanted to update what they have already gone over/thought of so we can focus on giving advice on other things.

 

I have anxiety whilst flying as well and sitting there for hours can be rough both physically/mentally. Make sure to get up and stretch your legs. Try to keep yourself occupied as best as you can. I recommend gathering music and making a playlist. Maybe an audiobook that you could follow along with. And because it will be a long day for you (waiting, boarding, flight, landing, customs, traveling to hotel, etc.) you should also plan on trying to get a nap in while flying. A comforting snack might help as well (check to see what’s ok to have, there are restrictions).

 

Though i’ve never had someone to visit, my excitement to arrive at my vacation destination was always enough to help me through some of the tough moments. Just remember why you’re going and those good feelings will help!

 

That was really helpful, thank you! We hadn't thought of the audio book idea, actually. I've got some free ones to download courtesy of Amazon, so we'll definitely look into that. She screamed into my ear as we read it "Daddy can make the playlist!" so I guess that's happening now!

 

​The flight is a night-time flight, so hopefully she'll get a sleep at some point, but we've planned for earplugs and for her possibly having a nap here once we get home, since check-in at the hotel is 3pm. Animal crackers? Should they be okay? Teddy Grahams? I've never had a problem taking dry foods/cereals on board with me, or even open gummy sweets - but maybe it's different rules in North America? I haven't been across the Atlantic since 2005, so unsure. We'll look into it.

 

The advice to keep thinking about the reason why she's travelling is really good and a sweet thought, actually. She should be able to remain focused once she's past security and calling me, and with all the announcements and the meal and other things they sell on the flight, she'll have plenty of distractions, as well as all those things suggested for keeping her occupied, so hopefully not much time to be missing our little bunny too much. I bought her a little ring for our 2nd "monthiversary" which is of a little bunny wrapping around her finger, and said this is to symbolise both mine and Kiko's presence with her, always, in an effort to always reassure her and bring her some comfort even if she's on her own. Fingers crossed that helps too!

[Guest Mattpanda]

Music is always a good way to encourage or relax (exercise, chores, trying to rest/calm down etc.) and making a playlist together would be a fun activity! Ya, people forget that audiobooks are a thing lol. I’ve heard of people listening to them or podcasts for long driving trips or flights. In fact it’s something that you could focus more on than music because you need to pay attention or you might miss something important. More time focusing on that; less time worrying about other things

 

Dry foods are probably best yes. I don’t recall how much you can take though. You’ll have to look into that.

 

Yep just gotta keep busy and before you know it, you’ll be gazing into each others’ eyes in person

[Siniwit]

I know when we're in the car we'll be singing our heads off (that actually keeps me more focused on the road, somehow?! Probably musician brain? I dunno!), but she can't be doing that on the plane (ha) so podcasts or audio books will be good. Gonna look into some "little" books for her to listen to, to keep her calm and settled.

​Probably get her to put her snackies in a jacket/coat pocket - that's what I usually do, I never get called out on it.

​Yeah, if she manages a little nap after her nummies on the plane, she'll wake up and it won't be too long left until she lands. I'm gonna meet her right outside the arrivals gate and she's gonna call me once she's inside the terminal too, so she's hopefully gonna be somewhat escorted all the way. It's just the plane ride and managing missing the lil' bun bun that we need to overcome.

[Lola Step]

I've been travelling lots and lots, I once went on a 9 hour flight followed by a 13 hour flight right after it! The one thing that gets me through is video games, book, music and MOVIES, lots of movies, I'm a movie buff so I can watch 4 or 5 in a row no problem, sometimes I reassure myself by saying an 8 hour flight is really only 3 and half movies or something like that I also have a little bun that I have to leave when I go on holidays But if you can ask whoever is looking after them to send you videos and photos and stuff or updates that always helps plus film lost of funny videos of her to watch when you're sad

[baby_k]

Not to be buzz killer but: if this is your first meet up, you should also be careful.

 

Always meet in public space first, tell family etc where you are and with whom, ask you family/friends to check on you on certain time intervals so they know you are safe, check ID of the person you meet (preferrably take a pic of that and send it to somewhere where your friends/family have access to it), have GPS logging on (which again is accessible by your friends/family).

Have back up plan on how you get out of uncomfortable situations (like it is good that you have your own hotel room and that you are not directly staying with the person you meet) and make sure you can get to airport by yourself, have enough money to support yourself and so on in case it does not work out with the person you meet.

Agree on safeword/phrace what you can text or say in phone to your family/friends if you have found yourself on bad situation (something like "i just looove my necklace" that does not seem like cry for help). Know local emergency numbers, where your embassy is, what is the number for the embassy.

 

So, always keep yourself safe, you can never know what can happen! But still don't forget to enjoy yourself and the trip

[Guest Dulci]

I'm honestly quite concerned (I know Siniwit will reply to this and give me some speil which, only gives me more red flags). 

 

My biggest advice is to be careful; tell your family you're going, stay somewhere neutral, public places ect. From the sounds of it, you're going to be vulnerable and alone, so please make sure you think this through. I don't know how long you guys have been talking, but I do hope it's been for awhile. I know you can say "but we've spoken online, we've voiced, we've messaged, he knows everything about me" - online personas and real life are very different. 

 

I don't think you should take BDSM gear or anything else, this first meeting should be you two as adults, seeing if you get on/can make it work. IF you get on and then think "actually, let's have a session" UK has PLENTY of sex shops. You can easily pick up new gear. 

 

Don't let anyone talk for you. You're your own person. 

 

But, I hope it goes well and that you're both very happy and that these red flags I am seeing are just my own paranoia  

[Maids]

We have known eachother for 6 months already - it will be 10 months. We have closed the gap as much as we can and know next to everything about eachother, ofcourse everyone has their mysteries but we do know eachother very well over the past 6 months.  My family knows where I'm going, all the numbers, addresses and I'm sure I'll come up with a phrase of some sort to say to my family that is a "help me" message incase things were to go down that way - which I highly, HIGHLY doubt because he is such a sweetheart.. the only reason  why he was replying and not me was because he was already on it by the time that I was pulling up the forum. I appreciate the concern, but we have thought this through - teased on meeting but we believe the time is right now to attempt it.

 

Ill definitely keep the emergency numbers in mind. 

 

You're right about the toys - it was more so a fear of someone rooting through my room while I am away and finding that - but I guess it's a lesson for them more so than myself so eh, whatever if they come across it  

 

We're meeting up in the airport when he comes to pick me up so there will be help around incase it's needed. He's not the average "internet creep" I guess ? heh.

 

But yes, trust me, I have never thought of doing this with anyone else prior to him and he just feels so right to do it with. I'm confident in this. I'm not dismissing your paranoia because people can be quite dickheads, but more faith on this would bring the relationship more justice.

 

Every relationship has to start somewhere even if we're ponds apart heh.

Edited June 17, 2018 by Foxette

[Guest bad_apple]

Let's start with travel advice

This might sound stupid as it is not the same thing but would a bunny stuffie help? Just to make the connection to you actual bunny at home. Otherwise, flying is pretty boring haha. Bring a book, music or an audiobook. You should have some inflight entertainment available, so just watch a movie or two.

I actually found sleep masks very helpful for finding sleep as well as the neck pillows. Some generic nice can also be helpful, like a ocean or rain sounds.

Be aware the seating can be a little crowded, which will limited your ability to move. So think what items you will most likely need at the beginning and put them in your seat pocket. Of course you can always get stuff from the overhead storage but I found, depending on your seat, it more comfortable to have most of what I need with me from the beginning. 

Solid snacks like cookies, nuts, power bars or crackers are no issue to get through security. Fruits can usually also be brought on the plane- You can also buy food after secrurity but that is nearly always really expensive. I would recommend to buy a bottle of water though.

Water is important, make sure you drink enough and t move around in flight. Either do some leg exercise while sitting or get up and walk up and down the isle. 

 

About the luggage. If you put it in your hold luggage, the bdsm gear should not be a problem. Make sure to take any batteries out of the toys though and put them  in your cabin luggage. Usually no one will look at your hold luggage but it gets scanned and they (airport staff might open it up i case of suspicion. You could also get hold up at customs should they wanna check.

It's your first meeting... so don't go over board with the gear. Just bring one or two items. if any at all. 

 

Now the safety, as others have pointed out. While you probably have already put some safety measures in place, sometimes this topic takes a little bit of a backseat due to the excitement, so let's go with the minimum:

You are travelling to a different country - make sure you know what to do and to have an idea of where to go should things do not work out. Know who to contact in emergencies (not just the police but like the embassy)

Take things slow, do not agree to anything you feel even slightly uncomfortable about. This is the first time you meet in person. It will be different to being together online.

Make sure someone knows where you are, who you are with and agree on a safe word that can easily be used in daily conversation. Also agree on certain times of contact

 

Hope everything works out and that you have a great time. And you got enough time to prepare for your trip till October to make it fun and safe all around

[Maids]

We just had a very long chat of safety and I've been completely reassured. My family will know all the details, my family is going to meet him over the phone to get slightly more comfortably before I leave to visit him, same goes for his family  I do have plans to bring my bunny's blanket with me (one of which I use for her cage lining) but I am leaving her the bunny stuffie as it will remind her of home when I board her in a foreign place while I am in the UK.

 

Thank you very much for all the replies, this helps us both greatly. (:

 

Thank you for all the positive wishes

Edited June 17, 2018 by Foxette

[Siniwit]

If it puts anyone's mind at ease, we've just had a good giggle about this: if it really came down to her being made uncomfortable by anything I do... I'm not the biggest dude. I'm the least physically threatening dude in the world. She could probably kick my ass if she wanted to.

Bottom line? I only Dominate as far as she consents to - always. This is the entire premise of our relationship.

​Again though, thanks everyone for your help and advice. Prompted big discussions and we both feel a little better about all this now. Lots of tips for things to look into and she's got stuff to look at too, which obviously, I'm not to be privy to (such as routes to the embassy etc.).

[WanderingWonderland]

 

Also, I'm nervous on how I take my BDSM toys across the border    (i.e, flogger, crop, pet-play tail and ears, butt plugs...) without possibly getting odd looks at security? Not to mention how I bring my ABDL items across the border? (i.e, my binky, sippies)

 

If you are meeting for the first time IRL, are you absolutely sure about taking such items with you? It is entirely your call, but personally speaking, I would be stashing the BDSM items for a later date. Kink can wait. I think it's far more important to get comfortable with each other in person first. But again, your call, Foxette.   

 

As far as your ABDL things go, just pop them into your hold bag. Don't feel nervous about them. Nobody will blink twice. A binky and some sippy cups are innocuous items. They may mean something to you, but to anyone else, they're just bits of plastic. No need to fret about them  

 

 

On that note, have you ever met a LDR partner in real life after a few or several months online ? Was it easier and less awkward than you imagined? How did you manage to overcome some of the anxiety of meeting for the first time? 

 

 

 

You do everything you possibly can to keep yourself safe. Keep your friends and family in the know. Give them details of your flights (inbound and outbound) so they know when to expect you home. You should call to let them know you've landed safely and check in daily. Give them details of where you will be staying. Also give them Siniwit's full name, address and contact information. Always make sure people on your side of the pond (people who only have your best interests at heart) have everything they need to keep you safe and touch base with you at all times.

 

I would personally be making my own way to the hotel, rather than jumping in a car with a man I met on the internet.

 

I would personally be making sure I had my own hotel room, not staying in a shared room with a man I met on the internet (not sure if this is the case for you guys). I would also be keeping the key to said hotel room safely in my own hands at all times.

 

I would personally keep things like money, my passport and travel documents in the hotel safe, keeping the key or security number for said (locked) safe to myself. I would not allow a man I met on the internet access to these things at any point in time.

 

Like Dulci said above, meet in neutral, public places where there are lots of other people milling about. Get yourself to and from these places so that you can leave at any point - look up local bus/train times, etc. and always have them to hand.

 

I don't say any of the points above as anything other than basic safeguarding considerations. None of these things are being said as a 'slight against character'. The fact is you will be in a country you don't know​ and ... you are only 19.  <worries> Don't put yourself in a position of reliance or vulnerability. You need to be in complete control of your personal safety. Do you have anybody in the UK, apart from your Daddy, you can touch base with? Anyone in the UK you can call if anything goes wrong, or if you need help and advice? If you have any forum friends on here, it might be an idea to swap numbers with one or two who are close-ish to where you will be staying. You can work out a coded 'HELP' message between you should you find yourself in a pickle at any point.

 

It might be an idea to discuss the possibility of shelving the power exchange dynamic between you for a first meeting. Take the pressure off saying/doing the wrong things initially by just enjoying your time together as a couple and getting to know one another in person. Some people do this, others don't. It boils down to what you are both comfortable with.

 

I'm sure you will have the most amazing time together, but ... don't let excitement cloud your judgement. Take the necessary steps to keeping yourself safe. Always. You can never be too safe. You can, however, be too sorry. I wish you both the best of luck!

[Guest bad_apple]

It's good you're talking about it and you (siniwit) should also think about your safety... somethings that tends to be forgotten about as usually the male is seen as a threat.

Safety is a serious topic in the end and should not be taken too lightly. Better safe than sorry and all that.

[Maids]

First of all, what has tipped me off by that message that WanderingWonderland has said is that I do not like it when my Daddy is lumped up as "a guy I met on the internet" it is much more than that and we spend a lot if not all the time in the world together, so it's not some aol sketchy chatlog. You're putting "a man I met on the internet" in the same title as I call my Daddy, which is quite disheartening. Yes, you may be using that as a figure of speech but please be more sensitive compared to what you know behind closed doors. I understand that your cautionary messages were meant to be taken as a caring way of keeping me grounded by reminding me of these things, but please do not devalue my Daddy like that. You may not know him, but I do, insanely well. I tend to take things in good faith as I search for the best in everyone, but I can't help but feel a little bit insulted by that. 

 

Besides, RL people can be equally if not more shady than an online relationship. It is possible LDR and RL. Everyone has the potential to do such a thing.

 

Moving on...

 

I do have ideas now and will be looking into my Canadian Embassy, knowing routes to the police station, keeping my money and documents safe, taking the lead for the most part with things ( he offered this ), I will be discussing a safeword with my family incase anything were to go awry, I will be doing daily timely checkins ON THE PHONE  so she will know it's me.

 

 

Yes, Keks, he and I were just speaking about how the males tend to be forgotten about a warning about potential threats of a female.  I am glad that you are able to keep him in thought aswell and not completely isolating him into a box of threats. 

 

Also, ANYONE who has any doubt about the nature of my Daddy or our relationship, read this post I made: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/33732-happy-daddys-day/ 

Edited June 17, 2018 by Foxette

[Siniwit]

Thank you, Keks, for being the only one to consider the other side of the coin. I agree, and honestly, it upsets me how often the stigma comes up of the predatory male who sets out to trap the innocent young girl. We have literally just finished discussing that if I were the one to post this, that not very many (if any) people would be posting and saying the same things about safety and potential predatory behaviour.

I have zero qualms about my girl and I've had all my concerns answered and catered to. I know everything I need to know with regards to safety in the places we'll be. I fly a lot for family holidays etc. so know the airport fairly well - arrivals less so, as I don't spend too much time there, honestly! First time I've ever met up with someone internationally, so it's a new experience for us both - hence all the talking and discussion between ourselves and our families.

For us this is legit and as real as it gets; the internet and the distance isn't fazing us. The only element we're missing in our relationship is the physical aspect and that's how this whole trip came about. She is under no obligation to do anything she isn't wholly comfortable with and we have agreed that I will be following HER lead until she feels relaxed and safe enough to proceed with anything.

Sex/scene-wise, we have no concrete plans for doing anything there and I've assured her there is ZERO expectation from me to do anything and that I'd be perfectly content with simply spending the time we have together, doing no more than a bit of kissing and cuddling if she'd even be comfortable with that. The ball is entirely in her court and she knows that.

​At the end of the day, I wholeheartedly agree with the basic concerns regarding safety and we'll both ensure that we're fully covered in that regard, but it really is quite sad to see that many immediately jump to paranoia and stigma surrounding male Dominant behaviour when meeting up with their partner. Truth is, more often than not, these meet-ups go over quite well and the majority of the relationships do well thereafter - we just don't always hear about the "good news"; it's more "sensational" for the media (and the public) to report the "bad news". She and I have every faith that this will work out and I'm doing my absolute best to ensure she feels as safe and comfortable as possible, before, during and after.

​Also, ETA: Regarding picking her up at the airport, she has already stated how much of a challenge this will be for her, simply to journey here, especially without her EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL and that she will already be upset, stressed and frustrated. THE LEAST I CAN DO, is be a fucking gentleman and collect her at the airport so that she has a safe and familiar face to meet her and take her to HER hotel (not mine - I have a house) rather than sit on my ass and leave her to hop in a taxi with some random ass stranger (who could very well be the predator people are warning her that I "could" be) or the trauma of being surrounded by people on a bus or train for a further hour or two, after an already distressing journey to a foreign country she's never been to.

She will not be jumping in my car immediately and we will be stopping to chat in a public area (probably with a hot or ONE alcoholic beverage - for her TO CALM HER NERVES, not me, 'cos I don't and have never, and never will drink) to get acquainted first and be assured that we are indeed both the same people we make ourselves out to be online - not that either of us are pretending in any way, shape or form, or indeed hiding anything. We literally sit on Skype 24/7 and don't really mute except for bathroom breaks (if you must know), so we literally hear everything going on in each others' lives. There is an awful lot of assumption and stigmatising going on in these posts and while I agree that there are dangers out there, I'm that guy who fights against all that shit and it greatly, greatly offends me that people would insinuate anything against what I feel I do in good character.

​In addition, this topic was not made so that people could patronise and scaremonger, but rather, she was seeking advice and help on how to cope on the flight since it's all new to her.

​


​.... But what do I know? I'm just "some man she met on the internet". 

Edited June 17, 2018 by Siniwit

[Lola Step]

Seeing as everybody else has covered the safety aspect (which really any traveller I'm sure does no matter who they're going to meet or where they're going) I just wanted to say that, not to disregard the healthy skeptics, that me and my Daddy were LDR for awhile after meeting on the internet and now we've been together for over 5 years! We met in a public place of my choosing, with him getting there first then texting so I could see if 'it was really him' from the outside without walking in, when I got that text I nearly threw up I was so nervous (I'd gotten a text 5 minutes before that turned out to be from a phone company and wanted to scream ) but now 5 years on I'm so glad I took that chance because my Daddy is the best thing that has ever happened to me Sorry for rambling just thought I'd lighten the mood a bit a chip in my experience of a LDR meet

[baby_k]

@Foxette: Your daddy is  "a guy I met on the internet", there is nothing wrong in that and it also does not change the fact that he can also be your daddy.

 

I'm in same situation as you, going to meet for first time my Daddy ( initially I wanted to start using that tittle only after meeting and seeing that we get along in real life also but... life happens, right? ) -and that will happen on the otherside of Europe than where I live.

 

I trust him 100%: he has stayed up with me numerous times because illness, nightmeres, got me through medical situations, had massivemassive fights with me and still stayed on my side, worked through issues, made sacrifices for me... you name it. BUT, bigbigbig BUT: I still need to keep myself safe. This has nothing to do with how I feel about him or do I think he is trustworthy. Our emotions cloud our thinking and sometimes even rationality can lead us to take unnecessary risks. And sometimes we missjudge situations. Being safe creates no harm, there is no negative sides to it. So, why not do it?

 

My Daddy actually has stopped me from booking tickets to meet him when it was just random thought from me: he wanted me to be sure of what I do and that I have considered all options. He also is more than happy if I try to look after myself ( like checking his ID ) and actually would scold me if I would be doing something stupid/reckless: after all, he wants me to keep myself always safe. And learning good process to meet "strangers" is part of keeping me safe. He wants to know that even if we end, I don't do anything stupid with some other man because I did that same thing with him. So, he can know that he is decent but he can't know if other people are, so learning proper procedure is important.

 

Note that whenever YOU have an adult problem, you need to be able to take care of that. Without a daddy. Your daddy also cannot over rule you or speak for you unless you ask him to do so. You need to be able to take care of yourself and state your opinions. If you feel unsure of something, you need to be able to make stop to the situation and stand back from it for example. You are an adult after all and you have responsibility over yourself.

 

I would like to point out also that sometimes people outside your rel can see something you are blinded by. Sometimes they are wrong, sometimes not. But it is good to take their view points into consideration: there might be something there. Don't get upset if they try to help you, it is not insult towards your daddy but just taking care of you and also trying to make you learn good ways to deal with people.

 

Red flags would be on how person handles critisism or fights. What happens if you two have massive fight while you are there? What happens, how he acts, how you can handle the situation? As fights happen and new situations and stress really can bring them out. So, just be safe and think also these things in advance in order to know how to act. (Personally I'm reliefed that we already have had massive terrible fights, so I have some idea what probably can/will happen.)

 

Now, about my meeting: I will have own hotel room. Will my Daddy be there on first night? To be seen, he has stated that I probably should be alone and process the day by myself and get comfortable with him ( agreed but I'm impatient person and might want to chat till late at night! ). After all: we are strangers in physical world even online we know each other. So, it would be good to take it slow, just like you would in real world: have the first date, go home, call each other... All the cute stuff. To make it special when you first time touch, hold hands, kiss... If you put all that to same day, I think the rel looses some magic there. At least I want to create cute memories to cherish with my Daddy. But maybe I'm overly romantic sometimes

 

What I want to say: you have all time in the world with him. Even LDR means that you have only short perionds of actual physicality but try to enjoy all that and not rush things. The butterflies in ones belly when meeting your crush, just walking with then, first touches.... those moments are priceless and you can never get them back. So, cherish them <3

[Guest bad_apple]

I have met my Daddy in person for the first time after 11 months of talking. I dare say we knew each other pretty well at that point and yet... we still didn't know each other at all. Even now, another coulple of months of talking and in person meetings later, we still discover sites at each other when we are together irl that we were not as aware of online.

There is a difference between those two worlds. By all means,it's not a bad one! Just something to be aware of in general and not just in regards to safety concerns.

[WanderingWonderland]

First of all, what has tipped me off by that message that WanderingWonderland has said is that I do not like it when my Daddy is lumped up as "a guy I met on the internet" it is much more than that and we spend a lot if not all the time in the world together, so it's not some aol sketchy chatlog. You're putting "a man I met on the internet" in the same title as I call my Daddy, which is quite disheartening. Yes, you may be using that as a figure of speech but please be more sensitive compared to what you know behind closed doors. I understand that your cautionary messages were meant to be taken as a caring way of keeping me grounded by reminding me of these things, but please do not devalue my Daddy like that. You may not know him, but I do, insanely well. I tend to take things in good faith as I search for the best in everyone, but I can't help but feel a little bit insulted by that. 

 

Besides, RL people can be equally if not more shady than an online relationship. It is possible LDR and RL. Everyone has the potential to do such a thing.

 

Moving on...

 

I do have ideas now and will be looking into my Canadian Embassy, knowing routes to the police station, keeping my money and documents safe, taking the lead for the most part with things ( he offered this ), I will be discussing a safeword with my family incase anything were to go awry, I will be doing daily timely checkins ON THE PHONE  so she will know it's me.

 

 

Yes, Keks, he and I were just speaking about how the males tend to be forgotten about a warning about potential threats of a female.  I am glad that you are able to keep him in thought aswell and not completely isolating him into a box of threats. 

 

Also, ANYONE who has any doubt about the nature of my Daddy or our relationship, read this post I made: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/33732-happy-daddys-day/ 

 

 

Oh, good grief.

 

I was under the impression, given the information you have told us, that you both met online and that you will be meeting in person for the first time come October. Therefore, Siniwit is a man you met on the internet and remains, at least in a physical person-to-person capacity, a stranger to you, yes? These are factual statements based on what you have written about your relationship, not judgements of that relationship. I was very clear in saying my post was about safeguarding, not a character slight against either of you. I would be offering the same advice to anyone posting what you did. Similar sentiments regarding safety have been echoed by other posters, yet you’ve taken direct issue and insult over my post. I can hazard a guess why, one that is entirely unrelated to this thread and beyond the pale of petty, but that’s by the by.

 

What I know based on the information available? You are only 19. You have never flown before. You are flying all the way to the UK in October to meet Siniwit, a man you did meet online but have yet to meet in person. You will be in a strange country. You have admitted to feeling anxious about it. You hinted at upset over not being able to bring your bunny. You asked for advice on travelling and stemming the nerves that so often come with meeting somebody for the first time in person.

 

Your use of big, loud, underlined lettering to highlight whatever flowery things you have to say about your relationship, while certainly eye-catching, seems … uh … odd? I’m scratching my head, trying to figure out why that was at all necessary. It is your relationship. Nobody is judging that relationship. Said relationship may mean the world to you, but it will realistically mean little to nothing to anybody else. All anybody has done is respond to your post as neutral members of a public forum. The overwhelming advice has been: stay safe. I think we can all agree safety is paramount. I’m not sure where my supposed insensitivity in hoping you stay safe filtered in. There really is no need to clutch your pearls over it. My hoping you keep yourself safe during your travels does not equal devaluing your partner. Yeesh. You are both strangely defensive. As stated above, I would be saying the same things to anybody posting what you have.

 

I’m sure if Siniwit has his own concerns and wishes to ask for help and advice on this thread (or even start his own), people will be more than happy to respond. As it stands, you started this post seeking advice, Foxette, so people are directly responding to you. You being a young woman who is flying into the UK solo for the first time come October to meet somebody you have never met in person before. That is all.

 

 

Thank you, Keks, for being the only one to consider the other side of the coin. I agree, and honestly, it upsets me how often the stigma comes up of the predatory male who sets out to trap the innocent young girl. We have literally just finished discussing that if I were the one to post this, that not very many (if any) people would be posting and saying the same things about safety and potential predatory behaviour.

 

I have zero qualms about my girl and I've had all my concerns answered and catered to. I know everything I need to know with regards to safety in the places we'll be. I fly a lot for family holidays etc. so know the airport fairly well - arrivals less so, as I don't spend too much time there, honestly! First time I've ever met up with someone internationally, so it's a new experience for us both - hence all the talking and discussion between ourselves and our families.

 

For us this is legit and as real as it gets; the internet and the distance isn't fazing us. The only element we're missing in our relationship is the physical aspect and that's how this whole trip came about. She is under no obligation to do anything she isn't wholly comfortable with and we have agreed that I will be following HER lead until she feels relaxed and safe enough to proceed with anything.

 

Sex/scene-wise, we have no concrete plans for doing anything there and I've assured her there is ZERO expectation from me to do anything and that I'd be perfectly content with simply spending the time we have together, doing no more than a bit of kissing and cuddling if she'd even be comfortable with that. The ball is entirely in her court and she knows that.

 

​At the end of the day, I wholeheartedly agree with the basic concerns regarding safety and we'll both ensure that we're fully covered in that regard, but it really is quite sad to see that many immediately jump to paranoia and stigma surrounding male Dominant behaviour when meeting up with their partner. Truth is, more often than not, these meet-ups go over quite well and the majority of the relationships do well thereafter - we just don't always hear about the "good news"; it's more "sensational" for the media (and the public) to report the "bad news". She and I have every faith that this will work out and I'm doing my absolute best to ensure she feels as safe and comfortable as possible, before, during and after.

 

​Also, ETA: Regarding picking her up at the airport, she has already stated how much of a challenge this will be for her, simply to journey here, especially without her EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL and that she will already be upset, stressed and frustrated. THE LEAST I CAN DO, is be a fucking gentleman and collect her at the airport so that she has a safe and familiar face to meet her and take her to HER hotel (not mine - I have a house) rather than sit on my ass and leave her to hop in a taxi with some random ass stranger (who could very well be the predator people are warning her that I "could" be) or the trauma of being surrounded by people on a bus or train for a further hour or two, after an already distressing journey to a foreign country she's never been to.

 

She will not be jumping in my car immediately and we will be stopping to chat in a public area (probably with a hot or ONE alcoholic beverage - for her TO CALM HER NERVES, not me, 'cos I don't and have never, and never will drink) to get acquainted first and be assured that we are indeed both the same people we make ourselves out to be online - not that either of us are pretending in any way, shape or form, or indeed hiding anything. We literally sit on Skype 24/7 and don't really mute except for bathroom breaks (if you must know), so we literally hear everything going on in each others' lives. There is an awful lot of assumption and stigmatising going on in these posts and while I agree that there are dangers out there, I'm that guy who fights against all that shit and it greatly, greatly offends me that people would insinuate anything against what I feel I do in good character.

 

​In addition, this topic was not made so that people could patronise and scaremonger, but rather, she was seeking advice and help on how to cope on the flight since it's all new to her.

 

​

 

 

​.... But what do I know? I'm just "some man she met on the internet". 

 

 

 

Would you like me to fetch you some smelling salts … y’know, to help with all that bold, screechy, capitalised CALMING? Yikes! Believe it or not, people are merely looking out for your little, Siniwit—the 19 year old who has never flown, never visited the UK and apparently has anxiety problems severe enough to require an emotional support animal in her day-to-day life. There is absolutely no need to get so het up. It was not a personal attack. The fact you have reacted to it that way … that’s telling. Sorry to say, but ‘little’ safety trumps ‘Daddy’ ego.

 

You two can tag team through threads and put up a strong, united front every step of the way, but … people will eventually stop responding to either of you if they feel one (or both) of you will end up reactive and challenging. It was impartial advice offered from outside of your relationship and whether you choose to acknowledge it, it was actually kindly meant. It came from a place of concern for Foxette’s wellbeing, given everything she mentioned in the OP. I would have that same concern for any person posting about going to meet an LDR partner for the first time, regardless of title, role, kink, etc. If neither of you are interested in what people have to say, don’t post on a public forum asking for advice. Simple way to solve the issue, don’t you think? It would also mean people don’t waste their precious free time responding to you.

 

And scaremongering was my word. You can’t have it. Your using of it has been stamped DENIED.  <light-hearted>

 

Seriously. Best of luck.  

[LittleCelticLass]

So, the only new thing I can add to the above advice (unless I missed it) is to maybe get a bunny stuffie that can act as a surrogate for your ESA. They make some very realistic ones, and you can take it out on the plane and pet it. (Even if you hide it under the blanket to avoid stares)

Also, a small piece of bunny fur from a leather craft shop might do the same thing.

Just my two cents.