Possible trigger warning/ Abusive pasts

[Guest AlisonS23]

So this is something I’ve come a long way from where I started. I have my ex Scottish daddy to thank for that actually in giving me this new found strength and confidence I forgot I had. That being said I was wondering if any other Little’s have been through an abusive relationship and how did you cope and move through it?

 

I was in a physically/emotionally abusive relationship that I was actually scared of leaving for quite a while. I finally did get the cops involved but some of the fights we would have I would fight back. No I’d not start them but if he would come after me I’d go after him right back towards the end.

Then I’d feel guilty for defending myself.

 

He got what he deserved taken in for domestic but even after I’d almost shy away from guys. I’m actually pretty cold to people at first one on one even now because I’ve put up. Wall. If you gain my trust I’m pretty fun! But anyway.

 

Any Little’s been through this and how did you cope? Just curious.. for me I don’t need advice really I just want to hear others stories if you will share..

[xpaciprincesss]

Edited June 15, 2018 by xpaciprincesss

[Guest SUeB]

Good for you for getting away from that situation.

Yep, been there done that. Twice at least. But i will focus on the turd i spent only a few months with not long before meeting the love of my life. He's a completely different breed.

This ex was horrible. But he was very clever. Intellect wise, anyway. Very high iq. But literally no emotional intelligence.

He hated the world and everyone in it. Emotionally and verbally abusive from very early on. i am not weak, nor am i stupid. But these people are very clever at getting under your skin, and making you believe the fault is yours.

Don't have the time or inclination to list everything he said and did, but my god i ended up truly despising him.

One thing i will never forget, is a night out when he got drunk. Spent the whole evening insulting me over my past. Basically called me a whore because i had quite a long list of failed relationships. He had me in tears, standing outside a pub, in front of other people. When we got back to his flat, he got out his "special knife", sat cross legged in front of me (i was sitting on the floor in a silent slump), told me i had caused this, then slashed his arm while staring me in the face. What a vile, disgusting little cretin. He's even stalked me since i finally saw real sense and dumped him. Going so far as to find me on fet, and message both me AND my Master. Master of course ignored him, and told me to do the same. He hasn't had a single response from me in the full year since we broke up, after countless texts, messages in different ways, and phone calls etc. Loser.

[Guest AlisonS23]

Guys thank you so much for the responses and experiences I read both and my gosh... you are both super strong for getting out! Sorry you guys went through all that. But I appreciate you sharing the experiences. It actually helps me feel less alone if that’s not a creepy thing to say.

[Guest SUeB]

Hey, poo happens. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. It's all this crazy thing called life. We do stupid things to ourselves and others, and other people do stupid things to us.

Without the bad stuff, how could we ever recognise or appreciate the good?

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

I found that the whole "If you're going through hell, keep going" thing is true, as far as coping with the emotional aftermath. Edited June 16, 2018 by aphroditelaughs

[LittleCelticLass]

I spent too much of my youth going from one abusive relationship to the next. I thought that was what I deserved out of life. In the beginning, they were emotionally abusive, but my first husband became violent and physically abusive as well.  When he put me in the hospital, I decided that I was done with a life of pain. 

 

This is how I coped:

 

1. Journaling, it's amazing how much better I felt just putting things down on paper. 

2. Self care. I spent a lot of time learning to like myself, and discover my own value

3. Professional help. Yes, I spoke to a counselor. I needed that outside opinion

4. Distraction. I started a new hobby and threw myself into learning everything I could about it.

5. Ice Cream, Netflix, Gummy Bears and several boxes of Tissue.

 

I still struggle. I still have issues. But  being a work in progress is okay. Because I am worth the time it will take to heal. 

Edited June 15, 2018 by LittleCelticLass

[Guest AlisonS23]

Oh for sure guys! I’m still a work in progress too. I’ve got professional help and I don’t feel ashamed of it anymore.

 

Ps gelato is the way to go if you want to cry over it haha

 

My ex would just go crazy sometimes. I remember once I was so tired of letting hit on me I ran and locked myself in the bathroom hahahahaha I mean I can laugh now because laughing helps me. But then in that moment. I was terrified!

[Guest SUeB]

[Bambi95]

When I was 18, I met this guy at therapy. He had as many issues as me. So I figured he wouldn't be scared by how damaged I was. And I was right. He wasn't scared of it at all.

Things started off great and we always laughed. But he was schizophrenic. And after his first episode or rather the first one I had seen... something changed. Almost like he was bitter that I had seen him like that.

It started with shouting and verbal abuse. But it wasn't long before it was physical. I ended up in hospital a few times with broken ribs, split lips, black eyes... etc.

Our relationship wasn't sexual in the sense that we had sex. But after he beat me to a pulp he would masturbate all over me and laugh.

I threatened to leave so many times. And so many times he promised to kill himself. He got close too sometimes. I would be filled with horrible guilt and I would find myself staying with him out of fear. But he would switch. Blame his schizophrenia for his actions. That this wasn't him. So I stayed.

When I got into the uni he had to drop out of because of his mental health, he was furious with me. And so he beat me. It was the worst one. I'm pretty sure he could have killed me. But I guess I'll never know since his mother stopped him.

I went to hospital. After a few days I left him. He promised me he would kill himself. He kept his promise.

 

I didn't really recover from that. And I still carry the guilt with me. I guess it is only within the last 7 months since I met my Daddy that I have been able to recover. And even then it's been years.

Idk. I guess just by having the strength to leave you know you will have the strength to recover. And that's good enough for me.